Do you ever get the feeling, “Oh, she must have gotten another offer—or found a papa or boyfriend”? Are they just incredibly good at hiding it, or am I simply clueless?
This content is machine-translated.
Wearing clothes she normally wouldn’t, unfamiliar accessories, changing her hairstyle, different makeup, being unusually cheerful, taking longer to reply, canceling at the last minute…
That’s about all I can think of.
What specifically do you do to keep her from being taken by someone else?
I joined six months ago and am enjoying the struggle.
I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
> What specific things do you do to keep her from going to someone else?
It’s simple.
If you genuinely give her your full attention, I don’t think she’ll cut things off with you.
It’s best to put what you want and what she wants on the table and discuss it openly.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
Whether you’re with a woman or a man, I think you feel happier when, during an ordinary day out together, their actions make you think, “Oh, I like that,” “How lovely,” “You’ve got it,” “Cool,” or “That’s smooth,” and you find yourself falling for them all over again or feeling little bursts of joy.
To have more of those lucky breaks and things go your way, I believe you also need a certain level of confidence—like self-esteem, or the inner composure that comes from believing things will work out.
As a result, I don’t think they’ll be taken away by someone else either.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Shingo Lee, a column writer.
When she starts seeing another man, the easiest thing to notice is her “behavior,” since changes in appearance and what she says vary from person to person.
In general, when she becomes less dependent on you, there’s almost certainly another man in the picture.
Her messages become less frequent, she asks for advice less often, and she stops making requests for things or allowance. Those are the kinds of signs that make you sense another man’s presence.
What you need to do to keep her from being taken by someone else is become more attractive yourself.
Giving her more than before may work as a temporary fix, but over time she’ll feel that it’s not worth it unless she gets even more money, and she’ll eventually leave anyway.
The best approach is to improve your appearance and find another girl besides her. Whether that’s through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or by pursuing a girl you meet at a bar makes no difference.
When a girl senses that your attention and resources are flowing toward another woman, she’ll pick up on it quickly and naturally start gravitating toward you.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Fuu, a columnist.
I’m fine with women having a husband, boyfriend, or papa (a male supporter). Even if someone finds a partner or another papa while doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I’ll tell her, “I’ll support you.”
For me, “not being taken by another papa” means being chosen and surviving as her ongoing papa. It’s my strategy for surviving even if I’m less wealthy than other papas, unpopular with women, or just an ordinary middle-aged guy（笑).
One example of how I survived as an ongoing papa: one of my regular sugar babies reactivated her profile at the club. I told her, “I’ll support you. You’ll probably get flooded with offers this month, so I won’t schedule any meetings. I hope you meet a good papa.” She was beautiful and had a high rating, so she was featured on the recommendations page as soon as her profile came back（笑）. Inside, I was nervously waiting to see whether she’d cut me off—but the following month, she asked to meet again. I was confirmed to be back in her rotation, and we’ve continued seeing each other for over a year.
When you support her and become someone she can talk to about problems with her boyfriend or other papas, you can build a relationship of trust. I feel that’s what allows you to keep seeing a wonderful girl for a long time.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Kazu, a male member.
If you listen with genuine interest, she may tell you about offers she’s received or give you updates on her casual partner or boyfriend.
If you ask about sex with her casual partner, you can learn about her experiences with men who sleep with her without giving her an allowance, which helps you understand what she likes and gives you useful insight.
The same goes for offers from other men—it can give you an idea of what kinds of dates she’s having, and it also gives me more material for my answers here.
Also, as Flag Maker mentioned in their answer, being compared to other men can help her realize your good qualities again, making her appreciate you and treat you more kindly.
As for keeping her from going to another man, someone criticized me in my previous question for “trying to act like such a nice guy,” but I think the key is simply to be a good guy.
If you give her an allowance and treat her well, she won’t be taken away from you unless someone offers her a significantly higher allowance.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Flagmaker, a column writer.
Wouldn’t it be better to have other offers as well? Having someone to compare you with makes your own strengths stand out.
Women often tell me, “There’s no one better than you, Flagmaker.” I’ve never been passed over for someone else.
Well, that’s exactly what I’m aiming for, so I can’t help but smirk.
I wait until I’ve completely earned their trust before I do anything bad. Marriage is the same way.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
