Have any women ever cried during an intimate encounter?
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The other day, I almost cried while being intimate with a man I’ve had an adult relationship (intimate) with several times. It hurt, it didn’t feel good at all, and when I suddenly caught a glimpse in the darkness of the face of a man in his 50s—old enough to be my father—I felt sick. I became sad that I was doing this and started letting out sounds that were just short of crying, rather than moaning. But the man mistook it for moaning and finished.
I’m a teenager, and through the club I have adult relationships (intimate) with nearly ten men. I’ve had more adult relationships (intimate) with men old enough to be my father than I can count. At first, I went through with it for the money without ever showing any reluctance, and men even complimented me by saying, “You really seem to be enjoying yourself and feeling good.” I thought I had gotten used to it, but lately I can’t stand even talking to older men. As a reaction, I spend every day hanging out with and having sex only with boys around my age. I just want things with men from the club to end as quickly as possible, and men even say I’m practically a professional when it comes to oral sex. I’d rather keep doing that for dozens of minutes than have them enter me vaginally.
Could it be that I’m simply not suited to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)? Or would I not feel this way if I met a man I was genuinely compatible with? Even though I’m fairly used to it, I nearly cried, so I wonder whether some women with no experience who turn to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) because they’re truly short on money might actually burst into tears during an intimate encounter.
I’m Shingo Lee, a column writer.
I think you’re a very hardworking person. You seem like someone who endures difficult things and constantly thinks about how to get things done more efficiently. I believe that’s why you’ve ended up with so many papas and become more skilled at what you do.
However, I think you’ve been pushing yourself so hard that your heart can no longer keep up, and you’ve reached your limit. I imagine you’ve been forcing yourself to carry on like this for a long time.
Time is finite. While it’s important to turn your time into pleasure or money, it’s also important to think about your future.
Why do you have to deal with as many as ten papas while suppressing your own feelings? I recommend taking another look at the reasons behind it.
I also get the impression that, in addition to being hardworking, you may be a spendthrift. You earn a considerable amount, but don’t you also spend a lot at the same time? I think there may be many things worth reassessing.
Difficult things and enjoyable things,
things you need and things you don’t need—
they’re all important, but if you don’t find a balance among them, you may end up throwing your life away.
A 19-year-old girl I met years ago had no academic qualifications, had only worked as a freelancer, and had given up on her future. Her only hobby was occasionally drawing illustrations. She was struggling financially and had lost her vitality, but after spending a long time persuading her, I helped her enroll in university at 20.
Now, while attending university, she earns money from the illustrations that were once just a passing hobby.
If you take a moment to carefully reconsider the things you’ve been telling yourself are “unavoidable” or “normal,” you may find that many of them can be changed significantly.
Please stop and take a moment to reflect.
*For now, I think you should take a break from papa-katsu.*
Please take care of both your body and your heart.
I sincerely hope your future will be filled with light.
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Money is important, but only if you’re healthy in body and mind.
You should quit sooner rather than later.
If the rebound makes you go after anyone your age, happiness will slip away.
—Akari
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
This isn’t really about whether you’re suited to it or not—I think you should quit before the emotional wounds get any deeper.
Receiving an allowance may be important, but it’s not worth getting hurt over. Emotional wounds don’t always heal completely. You’re still young, so you’ll find a way to manage financially.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
It doesn’t sound like papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is right for you.
It sounds like you’re being forced to work...
Maybe you should look up what “katsu” means.
It means being lively, engaging in activities with energy, and moving freely.
If you can’t enjoy yourself and do things freely, the way you want to, maybe you should quit.
Life is precious—especially your limited youth.
Whether it’s papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or a regular job, I hope you can find something you actually want to do, earn money from, and enjoy, even just a little.
Papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) should also be something that makes your precious life more enjoyable and fulfilling.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
No woman has ever cried during intimacy with me, but two women have called me in tears after dates with other men. In both cases, I headed over to see them while we were still on the phone and comforted them in person.
I think they felt unhappy because they were forcing themselves to do it for the money or simply wishing it would be over soon. If you’re forcing yourself into an adult relationship (intimate) with someone you dislike, then papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) may not be right for you.
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