I recently had my interview and was happily told that I passed that same day. I’m planning to start once my profile photos have been registered.
Since I’m a beginner, I’ve been reading lots of articles and joining PJ group chats to prepare and learn, but I get the impression that many of the girls are quite assertive—very confident about making requests and cultivating their papas—and seem to have everything figured out.
Unfortunately, I’m very aware that I have extremely low self-esteem, and I tend to sell myself short. So I’m not used to being that way, and I keep wondering whether someone like me is really allowed to make such requests, or whether I’ll be rejected. Even though I haven’t started yet, I’m already feeling anxious—perhaps because I’ve overprepared or taken in too much information...
Of course, my financial situation is difficult, so I would be incredibly grateful if I could genuinely receive support. Part of the reason I registered was also because I want to overcome my low self-esteem. But now that such an opportunity is actually in front of me, I’m starting to feel anxious.
Do you have any advice on how I should think about this or improve my self-esteem?
People often mistakenly assume that I have high self-esteem because of my appearance, so it’s difficult for them to understand how I really feel.
I would be grateful for any helpful advice you can offer.
Thank you very much in advance.
If people mistake you for someone with high self-esteem because of your appearance, then you must realize that you’re quite attractive.
At the same time, you say you have low self-esteem and might undersell yourself.
It does sound a little contradictory, but in that case, why not leave it up to the other person at first and see what kind of allowance they offer? That way, you’ll get a sense of how they value you.
Simply registering doesn’t mean your papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) activities have begun. It all comes down to receiving offers.
And before you get any offers, I think it’s better to meet men with an open mind rather than overthinking everything.
Marika
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I also tend to have low self-esteem and am not good at saying no. I’ve made mistakes because of that, but I think it’s a good idea to decide in advance what your absolute boundaries are—things you won’t compromise on under any circumstances.
For example, deciding that you won’t accept an adult relationship (intimate) for less than ¥XX, or that you’ll turn down anyone who won’t practice proper contraception. If you set clear lines for things that make you think, “I absolutely hate that,” I believe it’ll help you avoid hurting yourself when you’re caught off guard. Good luck.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I’ve heard the rumors about PJ group chats too. From what I’ve heard, there seems to be a lot of misinformation, just like on Twitter, so I think it’s best to take them with a grain of salt. Information on social media isn’t really useful unless you verify it properly.
As for the allowance, I think you should first decide for yourself what your absolute minimum is. If you’re asked, try quoting one or two above that, as Maezawa suggests. After meeting a few people, you’ll probably start to get a sense of how others evaluate you.
I think success experiences are important for changing the way you think and improving your self-esteem. If you manage to build a successful relationship several times while receiving the evaluation you expected—or even better—you’ll naturally start to see yourself in a more positive light.
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I’m Nana Ayase, a female member♡
Oh, so you feel the same way as Ayase…
You should be fine with an ordinary guy, lol.
But if you keep saying things that make you sound so unsure of yourself, someone might try to have unprotected sex and finish inside you.
It’s okay to say no to anything you’re not comfortable with.
For now, keep your hair looking nice, don’t make your makeup too flashy, keep your nails neat, and make sure you don’t have any body odor. Work on something you can be proud of.
Practice smiling, too.
Why not write everything down on paper? Good luck!
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Maezawa from the president’s office here, answering your question as well.
Women who come on too strong tend to be disliked. That said, I don’t think being too timid is good either.
Still, I feel that seeming just a little timid may actually make you more likable.
That said, since you say you tend to “sell yourself short,” I think it might help to add around ¥10,000–¥20,000 to the amount you feel would be selling yourself short, then tentatively tell him what you’re hoping for, almost apologetically.
Though I’m not sure what amount you consider “selling yourself short.”
I don’t know what’s really being said within your group, but generally speaking, there’s a good chance people are exaggerating in order to one-up each other.
There may also be people who genuinely receive a high allowance, but compared with you, they may differ in appearance, the content of their conversations, and even how they act sweet or ask for things.
It’s difficult to make everything the same, so I think it would be best to consider what approach works for you and put it into practice.
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