Are there really so many people who don’t know that, these days, you can find almost anything with an online search?
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There’s plenty of information about the kinds of problems that can arise in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), even just by looking through Universe’s Q&A box and surveys.
You can’t exactly sign up for a dating club casually, and people do some research beforehand, so naturally they’ll take reasonable precautions.
For example, bringing your valuables with you when showering separately, keeping the room dim to prevent hidden-camera photos, and not getting into a car with someone you’ve just met.
You can’t really get a grasp of someone’s character over just two hours at a meal in public, so isn’t it understandable that they’d be cautious the first time?
The less experience someone has, the more cautious I think they’d be about these things. What do you think?
Universe Club’s Mamiya here.
Sometimes, ignorance really is bliss. Some people register with a dating club casually and never run into any problems.
If we start listing all the trouble that can happen with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), then meeting anyone at all would be dangerous. In this day and age, when even leaving the house carries risks because of COVID, wouldn’t constantly worrying about the risks of papa-katsu just stress you out?
You won’t be able to enjoy spending time with the person in front of you, so if that’s how you feel, I think it would be better to quit.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
That’s right. However, if you ask which is more appealing from the other person’s perspective—someone who’s wary of you or someone who isn’t—it’s definitely the latter.
If you build too much of a wall between yourself and the other person, hardly anyone will make the effort to get past it.
By the way, who exactly are you trying to justify yourself to?
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I’m Taro, a male member.
Yeah, that’s true. There are plenty of bad and sneaky people in the world. You need to protect yourself from them, but there are also plenty of people who aren’t like that. You should judge which kind of person you’ve met. And if you think they’re a good person, you have to reach out—or they’ll never know how you feel. They’re acting out of the same mutual suspicion, after all.
In this world, there are “assholes,” “unremarkable people,” and “wonderful people,” probably in a ratio of about 2:7:1. You stay wary of the two, while giving the other eight a chance and looking for that one special person. Both sides are doing the same thing. If you can’t figure someone out even after spending two hours with them, that’s already a bad sign. You can pick up on things from the very first phone call. During the meal, instead of just getting by with harmless small talk, you should take a genuine interest in the other person, throw out plenty of probing questions and feints, and use those two hours to get to the heart of who they really are.
If you focus only on avoiding risk, you won’t get what you’re looking for. You might get lucky and meet a perfect man who anticipates women’s guarded behavior and knows exactly how to handle it. But I think there are also plenty of genuinely good men who just aren’t that quick on the uptake.
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