I'm Kazu, the dick-brained answerer. Sorry for asking such a dirty question here. When a woman sleeps with a man for the first time, why doesn't she use every sexual technique she has? That push and pull can be frustrating, but it's also fun.

Universe Tokyo’s Mamiya here. I’ve also gone all out from the very beginning. My entire body was sore afterward. It wasn’t so much that I gave it my all—it was more like I was led along, completely absorbed in the moment, and before I knew it, four hours had passed. That said, if you asked whether I could do it again, I’m not sure I could. When I climbed Mount Fuji, I couldn’t manage the second time around either. It was kind of like that (lol).

I’m Meg, a female member. I probably can’t give you any groundbreaking advice, but… It’s more fun when we’re both pulling the rope together, right?

I’m late to the party—this is Marika. I’m considered “sexy” by both myself and others, but I do worry that showing my top speed right from the start might put someone off. So honestly, I prefer to feel things out as we go. That said, men who go down on me from the first meeting without even asking, “Can I?” are usually pretty adventurous. Once that happens, I get carried away to the point where I can’t even keep up the act of being a refined, innocent girl, so I might end up showing 70–80% of myself from the very first meeting. Haha. I guess the answer is that we have to feel our way along while seeing each other’s preferences and reactions. If you ask me, men tend to hold back a little at the first meeting too. P.S. Seattle-san, and you, ordinary female member— I was reading your answers thinking how smart you both are. It would be fun if you wrote a column. I hope you’ll leave us with some stimulating, Shine Muscat-flavored summer vacation memories.

I’m a male member from Seattle. When stimulating the anus, I usually ask beforehand, “Can I lick it? I’ll stop right afterward and go rinse my mouth,” and they’re generally okay with it. Someone I’d been seeing for several years once asked me to try putting it in her butt. It’s fine if you use plenty of lubricant. However, it slips out naturally pretty easily, so finding a workable position can be difficult. After all, it isn’t really an organ designed for penetration. Gay men have it tough. I’ve tried various things to prevent things from becoming routine, but continuing to see each other and growing closer is what makes it most enjoyable. After more than five years, though, we’d tried just about everything and got bored, so we’re no longer having sex—but we’re still close. The other day, she pushed an Enemagra into me. It felt good. https://twitter.com/shatihokorock/status/1296286044598317056?s=12 P.S. The female member who posted this is an intelligent, capable woman. I’d love to see her write a column.

I’m Rin, a female member. This is just my personal opinion: First of all, because I’m embarrassed, I don’t want to be disliked, and I don’t yet know the other person’s preferences or way of thinking. That’s all.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. I kind of get what Kazu means, haha. Last time, she went that far, so I assumed she would this time too… but for some reason, she doesn’t. Then again, there are also times when I think, “Huh!? Why is she being so forward today!?” It really varies. I guess it depends on her mood and how she’s feeling that day. I think it’s an extension of the conversation. I usually take the initiative and make sure to be attentive first. Then, when I take a more passive role, I pay attention to how much she gives back. Well, most of the time, it’s not more than I expected, haha. It’s sad, though. (泣)

I’m Tetsu, a male member. This is just my personal interpretation, but I don’t think there’s a definitive answer to this concern. I think most women simply aren’t aware of what “sexual skills” are. If they aren’t aware of them, then perhaps their perspective is, “What exactly are sexual skills? What does it mean to make use of them?” For example, suppose there’s a woman who’s really good at licking. The man might say, “You’re really good at that,” while the woman may simply think, “I’m just doing it normally.” I think women only realize that something counts as a sexual skill when they’re told things like, “You’re good at that” or “That feels good.” From my own experience, the first intimate encounter I’ve had with women I met through this club has generally fallen into one of two types. One is the so-called passive type, and the other is the service-oriented type. I’ve never met a woman who seemed to be enjoying herself from the very beginning. I assume it’s because, since she’s receiving an allowance, she wants to satisfy the man and continue seeing him. Seen that way, it makes sense that she’ll only do what the man tells her to do—as far as she’s comfortable with it. Put another way, perhaps she doesn’t do anything because she isn’t being asked. I believe intimacy can be something both the man and the woman enjoy, depending on how well they communicate. Without enough communication, it can become no different from simply taking care of one’s own needs. If you can help a woman realize that she’s allowed to enjoy herself too, perhaps she’ll be able to experience and express all kinds of sexual skills.

I’m Joe, of “If Paper Airplane is 100%, Joe is 120%.” I can’t write anything particularly insightful about sex, so I’ll offer a different perspective. At a first meeting, Joe almost never takes off his underwear. Because I’m shy (just kidding). At the end of last year, I met a “bare-breasted Naniwa erotic girl” (pseudonym), and she wouldn’t let me get away with it. She unleashed every trick in the book—in the taxi, the elevator, and even the hotel hallway—and literally knocked me down as soon as we entered the room. Of course, we had a great time, but when we parted, the phrase that came to mind was, “Too much of a good thing is as bad as too little.” Isn’t going all-out right from the start disappointing in its own way?

I’m Paper Airplane, another male member whose brain is 100% sex. Men have nothing but sex on their minds, while women have everything but sex on theirs. That gap can never be bridged… After being together for 20 years, I’ve even come to hear women’s true feelings—things even their wives could never hear in a lifetime… (I can’t write them here either…) Kazu, When it comes to the club, both people only show each other the best sides of themselves (which is only natural)… That’s part of what makes the club appealing, too.

I’m Kazu, the male member who asked the question. > Paper Airplane > “After dating someone for 20 years, you end up hearing a woman’s true feelings—things even a wife might never hear in a lifetime…” I think that’s one of the greatest pleasures of dating. And I think the fun of an anonymous question box is that you might just happen to pick up on those candid thoughts. > Tetsu Tetsu’s answers always give me something to think about. Regarding being “good at going down on someone”: this sometimes appears in profiles, but I’ve learned that men have different preferences when it comes to how they like to be pleasured. I happened to find that out while talking with an escort. Some men like lots of saliva and a really sloppy style, some prefer light flicks with the tip of the tongue, and others like the rough texture of the tongue. There seem to be all kinds of preferences. Even the same person may prefer different techniques depending on where they’re being licked. Women also have different preferences for how they like their clitoris stimulated, after all. So yes, this isn’t really a “sexual skill” in itself. Based on my experience, there’s also a third type of woman at dating clubs: women who enjoy unconventional things and are looking for a papa (a male supporter) who will do things that men they normally meet wouldn’t ask for. To truly enjoy yourselves, it’s important to make the woman feel, “I’m allowed to enjoy this too.” > Papuwa I’ve also decided that 69 is the plan for the first meeting. Many women find fingers painful, so things can’t really get started unless I begin with oral; I dislike being the only one giving; and I feel bad making her do all the giving. Those are my reasons. If I had to choose, I prefer encouraging her to straddle my face when she starts going down on me. Once I coax her into position and her “abalone” shyly comes into view, I love gently opening it with my hand, teasing the clitoris with the tip of my tongue, and watching her reaction. It makes me feel glad to be alive (laughs). At the same time, I’m very curious about how she would react if I suddenly went down on her from behind. I haven’t actually acted on that mischievous impulse with anyone I’ve met through the club yet, since I assume some people might feel uncomfortable having their front pleasured after that. > One Female Member > “If you start at top speed, the biggest reason is probably that you’ll make the man sadly wonder, ‘Who taught her that…?’” Isn’t it fun to tease her while getting her to confess who taught her? (laughs) > Seattle > “Would it be okay if I went down on you? I’ll stop right afterward and go rinse my mouth out.” I see. So on the first meeting, I should just go ahead, then rinse my mouth afterward. That’s helpful. > Marika > “The ones who go down on you without asking, ‘Is it okay?’ are usually pretty naughty.” I’d never even thought of asking whether it was okay! > “If you ask me, men are also rather hesitant on the first meeting.” You’re absolutely right. Writing this answer made me reflect on my own behavior. From now on, I’ll make sure to rinse my mouth first and try going down on her from behind without holding back, just to surprise her. I doubt she’d think, “I’m never seeing him again because he did that,” after all. Looking at everyone’s answers, it seems the common ground is that people are watching the other person’s reaction to avoid causing discomfort or misunderstanding. I was jokingly imagining that if, right from the first meeting, a girl started by going down on me, then casually turned me over and even went down on me from behind, I’d think, “I’m staying with her until she’s the one who says goodbye.” If she then asked me to put it in, I’d probably hesitate a little and ask, “Did you prepare beforehand? Do you have lubricant?” But if she had really come prepared and was asking me to put it in, I’d probably decide again that I was going to stay with her until she said goodbye. You don’t meet someone that entertaining very often.