I’m a female member. Assuming you have multiple partners through the club, do you separate them into “people you contact yourself” and “people you leave alone until they contact you”? If so, what criteria do you use?

I’m Saito♪, a columnist. I never initiate contact, but I do keep promises and honor requests such as: “I want to watch baseball together.” “I’d like to have French cuisine.” “I’d like to try a threesome.” The reason I don’t contact them first is that I’m always mindful that, for the other person too, this is a relationship they can walk away from at any time. Some people in certain industries suddenly become successful and deeply regret having joined a dating club. To avoid causing them any worry, I never reach out first. On the other hand, when I receive a regular LINE message—not one about a scheduled meeting—I take it to mean, “I’m waiting for you to invite me.”

I’m Meg, a female member. When someone says, “I won’t do anything until they contact me,” I can’t help thinking, “So you don’t really care either way?” That’s the standard I go by. I mean, if you both want to see each other, you’ll find a way to get in touch, right? That said, when it’s the woman contacting the man, I do feel that, as Papuwa-san said, we tend to worry more about imposing. We’re the ones in the more passive position, after all. In my case, he looked me in the eye and said seriously, “You absolutely have to contact me! Otherwise, I won’t know how to get in touch with you.” His sincerity really touched me. P.S. Saito-san♪ I didn’t realize some people thought about it that way! That was really enlightening. Thank you♪

I’m Hikōki, a male member. I meet the women I reach out to myself. As for the women who occasionally contact me—possibly to invite me out—when I first replied, I thought I might meet them someday. But I still haven’t met a single one of them. I’m hoping to narrow it down to one or two women I can see long-term as my main partners, so I probably won’t meet anyone I haven’t met by now. Even if I did meet someone who contacted me first, she would never become one of my main partners. By the way, does it happen that a woman you went on a date with and liked never contacts you afterward? I feel like both the man and the woman would always contact each other, though… P.S. Mac-san, Oh, in that case, I need to correct myself. There was one woman whose profile was almost entirely lies and who gave me the impression of someone from the sex industry. She kept persistently asking, “When?” and “When next month?” But she scared me, so I would never meet her. P.P.S. Also, when I meet someone privately, I don’t ask for her contact information. I just give her mine and wait for her to contact me. I’ve been that way since I was a student. When she does contact me, I’m absolutely thrilled and do a huge fist pump inside! Since she’s the one reaching out, things usually work out. This approach works anywhere. When I was a student, I once dated someone who contacted me after we had only sat next to each other for a few minutes. At a club, even if someone messages me saying, “Let me know when you’re available—I’ll be waiting,” there’s no real excitement, because the arrangement has already been established by the time we meet.

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. I only ever have one dating partner at a time, but even if I had multiple partners, I don’t think I’d treat them differently. That said, I imagine the frequency of contact would vary depending on how much I favor someone or how important they are at a particular stage of the relationship. As for someone who “does nothing until the other person contacts them,” I’d say there’s a good chance they’re only continuing the relationship by the barest of margins. Or perhaps they’re hoping it will just fade away naturally.