I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
> It seems to be an everyday occurrence for women to suddenly be cut off after men lose interest, even when the women haven’t done anything wrong.
I understand what you’re getting at.
New female members register almost every day, and quite a few of them are really cute.
Male members—including myself—naturally feel tempted to make offers to someone new.
This is where it gets complicated. If, after making an offer, he decides that the woman he’s already seeing is better, the relationship will probably continue.
But if he decides the new woman is better, I suppose that’s when he ends up saying he’s “lost interest.”
This is explained in detail in Adventurer Merchant’s “When a Man Decides to Say Goodbye (Part 2),” Section 3, “The Terrifying (or Wonderful?) Encounters at Dating Clubs,” in Darling’s column. I have to say, I think it’s exactly right.
However, this isn’t limited to dating clubs. We shouldn’t forget that almost everything in the world is governed by competition.
I assume you’re a woman, but even if you haven’t done anything wrong with a man you’ve met, I hope you won’t forget that you still have to keep outperforming your rivals.
> Since it’s difficult for these relationships to continue, it’s probably better for women’s mental health to approach them like a series of one-off jobs, without expecting anyone to become a monthly arrangement, right?
That’s certainly one way of looking at it. Depending on your perspective, it really is a string of one-off jobs. You may need to meet each time prepared for the possibility that it could be the last.
If he decides that he likes you better than anyone else, he’ll probably ask, “When would you like to meet next?”（笑）
I’m Saito, the columnist♪
I think both men and women experience breakups.
Men are constantly competing with other men who are willing to pay more, while women are competing with around 7,000 other women.
A woman who hasn’t done anything particularly wrong—especially one who approaches this with the mindset of doing a one-off side job—can’t realistically expect to become that one woman out of 7,000 for a male member.
When it comes to motivation, it’s better to shift your mindset toward building the mental strength to move on from a breakup. That kind of mental shift will also help you in both your work and private life.
I’m Joe, a columnist.
I agree with Aizawa-san’s opinion. Let me add one thing: although this probably isn’t limited to dating clubs, relationships between men and women are highly individual.
The comments you often see on message boards about “getting bored” represent only one perspective, and what “getting bored” means surely differs from person to person.
There’s nothing wrong with using anonymous message boards as a reference, but let’s enjoy those individual differences while taking care of ourselves!
Though, to be honest, I’m saying that to myself too (laughs).
I hope you have a wonderful encounter.
East Customer Loyalty Group
Aizawa from Tokyo here.
Since it’s a matter of feelings, I think both men and women can eventually lose interest. We also hear from quite a few men who suddenly stop responding, so I’m not sure it’s fair to say that only men get bored and cut things off...
Ideally, both people should make an effort so they don’t lose interest in each other. If you approach it like a one-off gig, you’re more likely to be dropped, and offers may stop coming altogether.
Valuing the connections that come through the offers you receive will help you enhance your own appeal.
If you’re coming in with the mindset of doing one-off gigs, I don’t think Universe is the right fit for you in the first place, since this isn’t a part-time job.
