I’m not sure whether I should speak to men using polite language or casually.
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I often find myself wanting to get closer to men I’ve met a few times. But I usually end up continuing to use polite language, so after meeting a few times, would it be okay to ask him whether he’d prefer me to keep speaking politely or switch to a more casual tone, and then talk casually? What do you think?
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Some girls suit being polite, while others suit speaking casually.
My ace spoke politely for nearly three years, but she’s been speaking casually for the past three years.
The girl I started a monthly arrangement with this year is polite about 70% of the time and casual about 30%. I’d like her to speak more casually, but she just can’t seem to break the habit of being polite.
There’s also a variation where a girl uses polite language on LINE but speaks casually in person.
So basically, anything is fine—but I feel that many men want the girl to switch to casual speech at the right time so they can feel closer.
That said, the man will probably say something like:
“Casual speech is fine, you know.”
If your papa (a male supporter) hasn’t said that yet, it might be a good idea to occasionally mix in some casual speech.
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I see two women whom I’ve met several hundred times.
One has spoken casually with me since the beginning, while the other has probably continued to use polite language the whole time.
I’ve never consciously paid attention to whether they use polite or casual speech. I just notice it when I think about it, and both feel natural. We sometimes meet almost every day, and I also listen to them vent about work or complain about things.
Rather than forcing yourself to use one style or the other, I think it’s fine to speak naturally, however it comes out. It’s also quite common for a woman to open up and start speaking casually from the very first day.
I think it also depends on her job and on what kind of speech she’s accustomed to using in everyday life.
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