When negotiating an allowance with a woman, say I offer 10 to a “black” woman and she seems hesitant—would it be considered poor manners or leave a bad impression to raise it from there to 11 or 12? Or is it better to state upfront the maximum amount I’m willing to offer her?
Thank you.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂40s👑Universe male member
I’ve never asked for as much as 100,000 yen regardless of the person’s class, so I’m not sure how helpful this will be. But if it hasn’t been discussed in advance on platforms like Patro—especially with a Universe Club offer—I meet them first and tell them what I’m looking for. If they seem hesitant, things usually fall through, but afterward I ask what they want. If you still want to continue seeing each other, I think it’s simply a matter of accommodating their wishes.
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In my experience, black-tier women usually quote 10, 12, 15, or 20. I’ve never heard anyone quote 11, 13, 14, 16, 17, 18, or 19.
So if she hesitates at 10, try offering 12 rather than 11. If that still doesn’t work, try 15, and if she still says no, try 20. You’ll probably reach an agreement at some point.
There have also been cases where a woman initially asked for 15, but we ultimately settled on 10. I was about to decline because I didn’t think she was worth 15, but she read the situation and asked, “Would 10 work?” So I agreed.
There was also a platinum-tier woman who initially asked for 15, but we settled on 12—again, because she read the situation. Another woman initially said 10, then asked, “How about 8?” She was gold-tier.
It seems like neither papas nor women usually negotiate in one-unit increments.
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If you see enough value in continuing the relationship, you probably won’t object to the amount the other person proposes, regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman.
If you’re genuinely interested in dating the woman and like her a lot, then even if her requested allowance is on the high side, you’d likely respond positively rather than look reluctant—as long as it isn’t an outrageous amount. I think the same applies to women.
If you want to build a good, enjoyable relationship, it’s probably best to accept that your wish won’t come true once the other person has shown reluctance.
Going forward, I think the key is to improve your communication so that women don’t feel the need to react that way.
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LOL. If you don’t mind them thinking you’re cheap and disliking you, then I guess you could split it into smaller payments.
But if you genuinely want to date her, wouldn’t it be better to ask what she wants upfront and then decide whether you can pay that amount?
Or say, “I can only offer up to ___—would that work for you?” That seems like the better approach.
Women asking for 100,000 yen or more probably have other papa supporters offering high amounts too, so I’m not sure splitting the payment would work. The moment you do that, it feels like you’ve already lost…
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If you’re going to keep increasing the offer by ¥10,000 each time, I think it’s perfectly fine to ask what allowance amount would satisfy the other person.
Personally, I generally prefer to ask them directly. If they insist that I make the first offer, I quote the same amount I offer other women—and if that doesn’t work for them, I move on.
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I think it’s best to first ask what the woman is looking for and then decide whether you can afford that amount. If you can’t, apologize—since it simply means you can’t meet her expectations—and go your separate ways.
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I think that’s perfectly fine. The initial negotiation is important.
Unless there’s a very good reason, changing the amount later is extremely difficult.
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