There’s a man who comes all the way from Tokyo to meet me in another region once a month. He’s gentlemanly as long as nothing upsets him, but he clearly shows his displeasure when it comes to my views about my future—namely, that I don’t want anything more because he’s married, and that I also meet other men through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) to save money.
Sometimes he’ll maintain eye contact and remain silent for a long time, or raise his voice and dismiss my opinions.
Perhaps the emotional pressure is affecting me, but being intimate with this man is always extremely painful. I think the friction from spending six straight hours being intimate is also part of the problem. However, with other men, even if I experience some pain due to the angle, I’ve never been so swollen internally that I couldn’t be intimate for three or four days afterward, or in so much pain that I was afraid to sit down.
We agree to meet for six hours, but he seems to think that means six hours in bed. Afterward, he takes me out to eat for another two hours or so. I gently told him that I live with my college-aged younger sister and need him to stick to the agreed-upon time, but he became upset and that was the end of the conversation.
I continued seeing him because he always kept his promise regarding the allowance, but emotionally and physically, this is becoming too difficult. I find myself wishing I could use the time I spend with him to meet other men instead. Am I simply not patient enough?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂30s👑Universe female member
Even if you spend six or eight hours together, penetration itself only lasts a few minutes. If you’re both already at the height of arousal, just two or three minutes (or maybe one or two?) of penetration is enough to bring you both to climax, leaving you completely drained.
Women can reach orgasm in under a minute when masturbating, and men can climax quickly with a woman they’re attracted to. If they aren’t attracted to her, they may not be able to climax no matter how many tens of minutes pass.
I can’t help imagining that you’re enduring an act that isn’t exciting at all, with the discomfort dragging on and on.
The man who continues to ignore that seems unconcerned with your expressions or how you’re feeling, and lacking any consideration for your emotions. He’s simply repeating this vague, unsatisfying situation without even fulfilling his own desires.
What benefit is there in continuing a relationship like that? It might be time to open your eyes a little.
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No, no—if you don’t like it, just end things right away.
What’s the point of doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) if you’re just going to put up with it?
Wasting your time being unhappy isn’t worth it.
One of the good things about papa-katsu is that women can also say no.
If you have other papas and offers coming in, you can simply end it immediately.
To make sure you can walk away, don’t share personal information like your home address, workplace, or real name.
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Based on your question, that man sounds pretty scary. Staring at you silently for a long time is seriously disturbing.
I think you should cut him off right away, but since that would mean losing his allowance, I’d suggest finding someone else soon and gradually fading out of contact.
I’m personally fine with having other papas, but it might be better to act as though you don’t. Try thinking of it as a necessary evil—a lie for your own benefit.
Hope this helps.
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Club activities shouldn’t come at the expense of your mental well-being.
Universe Club has a large membership, so you’ll meet all kinds of people. I’m sure you’ll find someone who meets your expectations.
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> Am I just not patient enough?
This isn’t something you should have to endure in the first place.
And if you’re really going to put up with it, I think there should at least be some benefit—like a generous allowance—and that’s something each person has to decide for themselves.
So if you’re already at the point where you’re asking whether you’re not patient enough, then you’re not being impatient at all. Overall, it seems like ending things would be more beneficial for you.
That said, does “six hours plus two hours” mean you were putting up with it because you were receiving around ¥160,000 per pay-per-meeting?
Putting up with things like that isn’t good for you.
> Apparently, he doesn’t like the fact that I’m also meeting other men through a dating club to save money.
I think most men would probably dislike hearing that, so it might have been better not to mention it so openly.
Of course, some men do enjoy talking about what you do with other men, but I think you should assume they’re in the minority.
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Six hours of friction? I’d block them and say goodbye in a second. For me, it’s about 10 minutes.
If the allowance is ¥300,000 per meeting, I might put up with it. Even then, I might still call it quits.
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