I want to make it home by the last train, but my papa always comes by car and offers to drive me home.
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How can I turn him down gracefully?
I told him I live alone, so I think he assumes it’s okay to come to my place.
My home is much farther away than where we meet, so I’d really prefer to part ways at the station…
Tell him from the start that you’ll be leaving after four hours.
I don’t understand why you’re telling him you live alone when you don’t. Since he could turn into a clingy papa, you should just tell him you live with your family. It’ll be a little safer.
You can give a harmless explanation, like saying your parents will worry if you’re not home by a certain time. It sounds like this papa wants to spend as long with you as possible.
I’ve mentioned this several times through Fuu on this question box, but the beginning is crucial. If you don’t clearly state your boundaries, that becomes the default and will be taken for granted from then on. Have the courage to stand your ground.
If he ends things just because of something that minor, then so be it. Look at it positively—you’ll be able to get rid of a clingy papa—and wait for your next offer.
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I sometimes drive too, but I don’t want to intrude into a woman’s neighborhood, so I ask where she’d prefer to part ways.
There’s no special trick to it—just say, “It would be convenient for me to wrap things up at [place] around [time].”
If someone keeps pushing, it’s better to distance yourself sooner rather than later.
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If it goes past the last train, I’d just give her some extra money for a taxi and call it a night, so I honestly don’t see the point of giving her a ride.
From your question, it sounds like getting him to change the arrangement at this point would be difficult, so I’d just wrap things up quickly. Personally, I think trying to work something out with him would be pretty exhausting.
Next time, don’t say you live alone. Come up with a solid story—like living with your parents and having a curfew, or needing to be up early for work—and find someone who’s a better fit.
Hope this helps.
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> My home is much farther away than the place where we meet, so I’d like to part ways at the station…
It sounds like the reason you want to part ways at the station is because your home is much farther away. But conversely, does that mean you’d be okay with being driven home if the other person didn’t mind the distance?
Or do you simply dislike being driven home because the distance would mean spending a long time together?
I’m also curious what you’ve done up until now. If you’ve been able to part ways at the station somehow, it seems like you could just continue using the same approach.
If you want to part ways at the station regardless of the reason, I think you can simply say:
“Please drop me off at the station. I’m serious.”
If they think that pressuring you might mean they won’t be able to see you again, they probably won’t push the issue.
You could also try casually hinting that you’ll stop seeing them if they don’t respect your wishes.
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I’m not sure how well you know your papa (a male supporter), but you can simply say, “Just to the station is fine.”
If you push things too far, it could lead to various problems, so let’s proceed carefully.
I think your papa knows that too—but apparently he doesn’t. He’s getting a little too pushy.
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Young lady,
Take just three minutes to think about how you want to phrase it, then post it again. I’ll kindly and carefully help polish it for you.
If you don’t get into the habit of thinking things through while you’re young, you’ll end up as an old hag with no option but to take off her panties. This old man knows what he’s talking about.
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I think it’s best to explain calmly but clearly that you want to be home by the last train—not that you want to leave because you’re afraid of missing it.
I also think that, to stay calm, it’s important not to bottle things up until you get irritated.
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