I’ve been seeing a papa (a male supporter) I truly love through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) for three years. He has a wife and three children: an eldest daughter, a second son, and a younger daughter.

A papa is ultimately just a papa. Find other papas, a boyfriend, or a friend with benefits, and enjoy your life. Don’t get too wrapped up in your papa; it might be better to date your boyfriend with marriage in mind. The idea that you should only have one person you love was something people in the past said. It isn’t an instinct humans have as animals. Since humans naturally have an animal side, apparently people in the Jomon period had sex in groups, lol. So I don’t think you need to worry about it too much. I hope you enjoy your own life. It’s not as simple as “you’re unhappy because of this” or “you’ll be happy once you become that.” I hope you can find whatever makes you feel happy, without forcing yourself too much or overthinking it.

You can’t really know what someone else is truly struggling with. Even people others envy may not be enjoying their lives at all. It’s actually quite common for hugely successful singers to say that performing was never what they really wanted to do. In fact, your papa (a male supporter) is doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) because he isn’t fulfilled either. No one else can know what would make you feel, “I’m being valued.” Just as wealthy people can keep earning money without ever feeling satisfied by it, you may not feel fulfilled no matter how much you’re cared for. That said, since you’re able to do papa-katsu, you should try meeting more papas, taking on other jobs or volunteer work, and looking for a place where you feel you belong. I think being free to pursue different things is, in itself, a form of happiness.

This is a tough one… Many of my monthly partners have strained relationships with their parents, but perhaps by coincidence, they often want to hear about my children. I only answer when they ask, and they’ve all reacted positively. That said, I’ve always felt that bringing family issues into the arrangement isn’t a good idea, so I’ve never been the one to start talking about my family. I honestly don’t know what the right answer is. For what it’s worth, I actually like hearing about my monthly partners’ boyfriends or husbands. It reassures me to hear that they seem happy.