I’m considering joining a papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) club, but I’m still undecided.
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In the answers below, many people said they wouldn’t offer to married women. Are most of the male members single, or are they married themselves but simply don’t want to offer to married women?
I’m single, but I may get married someday, so I was curious.
I imagine many of the men using dating clubs are single or divorced.
Also, it seems some men have ended up facing civil lawsuits after becoming involved with married women, so I assume they avoid offering to married women as a way of minimizing that risk.
I’m married myself, but I believe there’s virtually no chance my spouse would file a civil lawsuit. I get the feeling there are quite a few married men who think the same way.
As Makeotoko-san mentioned, I don’t think there are many male members who simply enjoy the relationship itself.
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I’m Andy, a member.
If you’re single, why not join? If you get married later, you can simply think about it then.
I think you understand why male members avoid married women, since everyone has kindly explained it. However, I have no idea what proportion of male members are married versus single.
You could ask the club staff when you join. They may be able to give you more detailed information.
There was someone I made an offer to who was active while living with her boyfriend. She later became pregnant and got married, so I recently ended things with her.
I hope this helps.
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In my case, I wouldn’t be doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) if I were married. I don’t think it’s worth taking that much of a risk.
With married women, you can often make a fairly accurate guess based on the times they’re available for a first meeting.
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If you’re single, I think you should go ahead and join without worrying about it.
It’s not that men don’t want to make offers to married women. There are simply so many wonderful women that there’s no need to specifically seek them out. For some men, there’s also no need to make offers to women over 24, simply because there are plenty of attractive women aged 22 or younger.
If you’re still unsure, you don’t have to join.
The women club men want most are wonderful women who don’t join a club like this because they don’t need to.
So there’s no need to join, but if you do, it might be worth joining just to see how it goes.
P.S.
I went to the Expo with a club woman again today. It wasn’t papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)—we were simply going out together—but she enjoyed it far more than expected, and we’ve gone out several times since, with everyone saying we should do it again. Club papas are well-liked by women.
Universe offers all kinds of possibilities for meeting people, so if you’re not treating it like a part-time job, I think it could be worth giving it a try.
As for the club woman, she now invites me to “go out and have fun” (which is how it started anyway), and this has continued for so long that we’re constantly expressing our gratitude to each other. She says she’d take me in if my wife ever filed for divorce (though she’s really after my inheritance…).
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That’s papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), after all.
Wealthy papas (male supporters) date younger women.
A lot of wealthy papas are probably married. There are plenty of papas who want to date younger women, so they’re unlikely to go out of their way to pay someone who’s married too.
If you’re married yourself and already taking a risk, why would you deliberately take on an additional risk by choosing someone who’s also married? Most people wouldn’t willingly double the risk, even if money is involved.
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I’m still seeing a woman I met through Universe Club, who married the boyfriend she had been living with and has since had a child.
I’ve told her many times that we should break up, but she refuses to listen, and that’s how things have continued. I do give her an allowance, but she’s an incredible woman who’s long since become much more than papa-katsu, and she feels the same way about me.
Aside from her, I’ve also made offers to several married women.
I believe that if you build a relationship that goes beyond whether someone is married or single, or whether it started as papa-katsu, that’s all that matters.
“Because it’s an allowance-based relationship, it can’t become serious”? Give me a break.
Yesterday, an A-type woman who lives with her boyfriend came over and stayed the night. We didn’t have sex, but we love each other very much.
So, question asker, sign up already and aim for what lies beyond papa-katsu. I’m sure you’ll find it.
That’s what I was writing—and then tonight I had sex with a PJ whose only real asset is her looks. It wasn’t enjoyable at all, so I cut things short.
That may have been the first time I’ve ever ended things early.
Her face is absolutely perfect, though...
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> “I’m single, but there’s a chance I may get married someday.”
Most single people have “a chance of getting married someday,” so I don’t understand why that’s being presented as a reason. It also seems like you’ve misunderstood the real reason for not offering to married people.
It’s not about the other person’s own circumstances. To avoid risk, the usual approach is simply not to get involved with married people.
In the first place, under Japanese law, you’re not supposed to have sexual relations with someone who’s married. (Even if it’s dinner only, in some cases it may still be considered an affair based on the emotional relationship, though I think those cases are rare.)
When someone who has a spouse freely chooses to have a sexual relationship with someone other than their spouse, it is considered infidelity.
Infidelity constitutes a tort under the Civil Code (Article 709), and is interpreted as an act that infringes on the spouse’s right to marital fidelity and causes them emotional distress. It can therefore lead to liability for damages stemming from that emotional distress—in other words, a claim for compensation.
So even an ordinary person may have to apologize to the other party and pay compensation. For someone with a prominent social position, their status could also be put at risk. Celebrities, for example, have even lost work over such situations.
Ultimately, it comes down to whether you want to avoid the risk or deliberately reach into the fire and take the gamble.
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