I Quit Papa-Katsu

When women who work in the adult entertainment industry came to Universe, many of them tended to choose Relationship Type A or B. (Sorry if things have changed recently.) When I asked why, I often heard things like, “I can’t choose the men I see for work, so here I want to choose my own partner.” So I can understand the idea that adult entertainment is a job, while papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is about meeting people. Of course, at the time, papa-katsu was just starting to become popular, so they may also have been curious about it. Personally, I see it as a place where people can meet one another—including intimacy and money—encounter all kinds of people, and make new discoveries. Sometimes you like someone but they don’t feel the same way, and sometimes it’s the other way around. Because all sorts of things can happen, I feel it may be a place for people who simply want to enjoy the experience itself.

Your criticism is probably valid. The reason is that I often turn into the kind of papa the questioner is describing. That said, there’s something that bothers me a little. If you were going to leave, it would have been better to do so quietly. Japan has a wonderful proverb: “A departing bird should leave the water undisturbed.” There’s also the saying, “What goes around comes around.” In other words, if you leave a mess behind, you’re bound to face repercussions. Do be careful! To avoid any bad karma, I recommend having a purification ritual performed at Hie Shrine. By the way, I once dated a shrine maiden. Her otherworldly hip work felt absolutely amazing. Naturally, I finished inside without a condom.

Well, if working in the adult entertainment industry suits you better, then by all means. There are so many things wrong with that argument. One of the good things about papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is that you can say no if you don’t like someone and choose your papa (a male supporter). In the adult entertainment industry, you have to go through with it no matter how unhygienic or creepy the customer is, right? Being able to avoid that is the biggest appeal. Poor thing—you didn’t say no, so that lousy papa took advantage of you. Go earn plenty of money with creepy old men in the adult entertainment industry, and forget about whatever you disliked about papa-katsu.

Both require a certain level of commitment, and sex workers can do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) too. But I’d say people who are suited to papa-katsu are those who can draw a clear line and say: “No matter how far I fall, I’ll never work in the sex industry—or it’s simply not something I’d ever consider.” I think this applies to some extent to people who continue working in the nightlife industry as well. > Mac, Since I said “people who are suited to papa-katsu,” I agree that “papa-katsu and the sex industry are essentially the same thing.” I’m pointing out the difference because people in the sex industry or nightlife tend to act with time efficiency in mind, calculating everything by the hour. In papa-katsu, it’s common for a girl to fall asleep for hours after things are over at a hotel. But people in the nightlife industry don’t sleep for that long, and even if they do, they’ll manage their time properly so it won’t happen again next time. From my perspective, that can feel a little exhausting.

To keep a generous (well-paying) papa (a male supporter) or double the initial allowance, romantic feelings are necessary. Even if you don’t go as far as being a married couple or boyfriend and girlfriend, you need to put on an act that comes close to it, otherwise I’m not going to loosen the purse strings either. Maybe it just depends on whether you’re suited to it. P.S. Mac, adult entertainment venues aren’t scary places, so feel free to give them a try. Most of the time, you’ll find perfectly ordinary Japanese women there. Before I discovered dating clubs, I used to visit those places fairly often about ten years ago. Two of the people I met there are still my friends today. One of them works as a nurse, and I’ve supported her all the way through school. The first time, I just take a passive approach, go with the flow, and peacefully receive the service. After all, we’re both human, so about one in ten ended up becoming someone I got along with and exchanged contact information with. We eventually started traveling together a lot. With Universe Club, the odds are even better. I become friendly with about one in five. The profiles are clear, so the success rate is high. Other than that, it’s pretty much the same. In my case, I wasn’t looking for freebies, and sometimes the allowance outside the establishment was actually higher, so that may have improved my odds.

Even as a man, I find dating takes more money and emotional effort than using sex workers. For people who want a simple sex worker–client relationship, it’s only natural that dating would feel like a hassle. The fact that you couldn’t foresee that despite working in the sex industry makes me think you’re really not very good at thinking things through. Goodbye, and please don’t come back. Addendum after reading Mac’s answer: People enjoy the sex industry in different ways, but I think its defining feature is that you can receive a certain standard of service without having to build a personal relationship. Of course, some people do develop relationships and start meeting outside the establishment, while others receive services that go beyond what is normally offered. For example, at a soapland, a regular customer might be allowed to make a private recording with a familiar worker, or a worker at a condom-required soapland might provide service without one, thinking of it as a special service. Typical examples of going beyond the usual boundaries include having intercourse at a delivery health service, where it is supposedly not allowed, or paying an additional fee for intercourse. Some workers actively offer it because the extra money goes directly to them, while others get angry and say, “It’s a delivery health service, so don’t ask for that.” So it depends on the worker, but if Mac asked, I think most of them would probably wear Tenga underwear for him. > I wonder what men think. There must be some who feel they aren’t suited to dating clubs and that using sex workers is the better option, right? I think there are quite a few. Dating clubs are clearly worse in terms of time efficiency than sex establishments, so currently active sex workers who are earning well probably wouldn’t register with a dating club. For the most part, it’s probably women who can’t earn enough at sex establishments while they’re still active, or women who have left the industry and taken other jobs, using dating clubs to make some extra money. To Mac, part two: Personally, I don’t look for personal relationships at sex establishments, and I don’t think most workers expect one from their customers either. Some women enter the industry because they want to make money quickly but dislike cabaret clubs, since they’re bad at drinking or talking to people. In many cases, they provide services with their bodies in an environment where personal relationships are minimal, so I imagine joining a dating club would only leave them frustrated. Even before that, as I mentioned earlier, dating clubs are poor in terms of time efficiency, and I doubt there are any currently active soapland workers who are earning well and would want to do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). As for the point about the first meeting being over tea, as the question mentioned, I think some women do want to be treated with care and respect. Aya previously described it as feeling “like prostitution,” but in my experience, many women in dating clubs dislike giving off that impression.