If a papa (male supporter) asked you to be exclusive and told you to quit papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), would you all leave?

Precisely because this kind of relationship is unconventional, I think it’s important to be honest. So if a man asked me to make him my only partner, I’d initially turn him down. If he seemed willing to offer a sufficient allowance, I would honestly say: “I don’t know yet whether our relationship will last. If things continue and I come to trust you, I’ll make you my only partner.” If that wasn’t acceptable to him, I’d say goodbye from the start, figuring that things wouldn’t work out anyway. Ultimately, I think it comes down to what kind of relationship you want with him.

- Adult relationships (intimate) with other papas are okay. - Continuing papa-katsu is okay. - Having a boyfriend is okay. I always make sure to tell women these three things on our first date. If you can’t say them, I don’t think you have any business being a papa. Women do papa-katsu because they need the money, and if you’re a good papa, having more than one isn’t a problem. I actually want them to have a boyfriend, and if a girl doesn’t have one, I’ll even encourage her—sometimes persistently—to find one. I’ll help her look, and I’ll even help her find someone to marry. If I were doing mama-katsu and my mama told me, “I want you to leave the club” or “You’re not allowed to get a girlfriend,” I’d just keep doing mama-katsu behind her back while being lovey-dovey with my girlfriend.

You don’t have to quit just because he said that, and there’s absolutely no need to continue seeing a papa who would say something like that. As Kazu-san wrote, there’s no reason for the papa to bring it up. It would be more natural and better if the woman eventually decided to leave on her own. Whether she wants to quit depends on the papa as well, so a papa who brings it up himself may well be a papa to avoid.

Please don’t encourage women to leave the club. That’s the rule, but even when a male member violates it, he isn’t forcibly expelled, right? That’s why I think some male members say things like that. I believe people who can’t follow small rules won’t follow bigger ones either. You should probably treat them like criminals when dealing with them. They likely don’t respect Japanese law either. With that in mind, you should consider dating someone who tells you to leave the club a major risk. Come to think of it, the company recently received a consultation from a woman who was having trouble because a man had started acting like a stalker after she tried to end things. Apparently, it escalated beyond simple stalking—he demanded that she return a bag he had given her and threatened to sue her for fraud if she didn’t. There really are some pathetic men out there. Once something has been given as a gift, it belongs to the recipient, so he has no right to demand it back, and she isn’t obligated to return it. But the woman was contacting the company because she was already being dragged into a troublesome situation and wanted to cut ties with him as soon as possible, so it seems she returned the bag anyway. That kind of thing does happen. I don’t know whether this particular man had told her to leave the club, but there are quite a few strange men who seem nice while you’re dating them. So, as one guideline for judging people, I think you should consider anyone who disregards small rules dangerous and assume from the outset that you’re dealing with a person to avoid. Rather than worrying about whether to leave the club, you should consider whether you want to date that person at all. And even if you do decide to see him, it’s best to be prepared to handle any problems that might arise.

A papa (a male supporter) telling you to leave is against the rules. If he wants you exclusively, politely—and tactfully—name your price: “Then give me ○○.”

“I need more allowance, so I can’t leave yet. Please explain it well. I have to pay back my student loans, and I still need several million yen more. I can’t rely only on you, ○○♡” — something like that, haha. It’s probably better to talk it over than let him find out secretly. If he’s willing to give you the full amount you need, you might consider sticking with just that one papa. But if he says he’ll break up with you unless you quit, I’d give up and wait for offers from other papas. A papa who absolutely insists that you quit sounds like the type to become clingy and troublesome.

Whether or not to leave the site is a personal decision and depends on the person you’re seeing. It depends on each woman’s situation and priorities—whether she mainly wants a generous allowance, how much time she’s willing to devote to dating, and whether she’s reasonably satisfied with her current partner. Personally, after seeing someone for a few months and building a good relationship, my partners tend to leave on their own without me asking them to. Some women tell me, “I left, so please treat me well.” Other times, I’ll say something like, “I haven’t heard you mention any recent offers,” and they’ll reveal, “I actually left a long time ago.”