I’ve fallen in love with a papa even though I know he isn’t financially beneficial to me, and I just can’t bring myself to cut ties with him.
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I have a papa I’ve known for five years and been seeing for two. We met at a hostess club. At first, it was an allowance-based relationship, but he found out that I was making about ¥1 million a month working nights, that I had given him a fake name instead of my real one, and that I was practically living with another man. We decided to break up once, but after various things happened, he continued coming to the club, and our relationship gradually changed into one without an allowance.
Later, he also found out about a second incident involving another man—that I had traveled with my ex-boyfriend. We decided to break up again, but I begged him to take me back, and we reconciled.
We’re 20 years apart, but I love him dearly as a person. Even though I know he’s married, I don’t want to break up with him.
When I told him I wanted to have his child, he said, “If you get pregnant, we won’t be able to see each other or travel together like we do now. You won’t be able to do the things you want, either. I want to enjoy our time together for now, so wait until you’re over 30 to have children.” I can’t tell whether he really means that or is just trying to avoid the subject.
On the other hand, I also have a papa I met through Universe. We’ve been together for three years and dating for two.
He absolutely adores me. Even though he knows I work nights, he gives me a ¥1 million monthly allowance and helps with my rent. He buys me anything I want, and says he wants to have a child with me right away. He’s also said that if I want another one, he’ll support me, and that he’ll make sure I never have financial difficulties for the rest of my life.
I love this papa too.
I don’t want to get married, so I’m fine with living my life as a mistress and raising children.
I understand that, realistically, I should devote myself to the second papa, but I love the first one so much that I just can’t let him go.
The second papa found out that I was seeing the first one, and our relationship nearly fell apart once, but he forgave me. However, I don’t think there will be a second chance.
That makes me feel like I need to cut ties with the first papa as soon as possible, but I just can’t do it.
The first papa is extremely possessive despite not providing me with any financial benefit. Because of my past behavior, he’s become suspicious of everything I say and do, and he’s starting to interfere with my relationship with the second papa as well...
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Well, words can limit your actions, so as long as you keep saying you can’t break things off, I guess it won’t happen.
Maybe you’re the type who gets fired up by being on the edge and likes things to stay just barely within the limits.
They’re both just papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), so the papas may not take it as seriously as you think.
Be careful.
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It seems like everything is nicely balanced.
Since opposites tend to look good precisely because they’re different…
It seems like this is a relationship that can’t exist without both sides.
Whether male or female, I think people can play both roles—the one in a relationship where there’s an allowance and the one where there isn’t.
Were there ever any anti-papa-katsu respondents here?
I think everyone is just writing with the readers in mind, and that no one—including me—is trying to criticize anyone. We simply all have different ways of thinking. And the stronger those individual personalities are, the more wonderful they probably are.
> I guess you could call it happiness, but since it’s ultimately love bought with money, maybe it isn’t happiness. I honestly don’t know.
I think it’s nice that love, romance, and happiness are all things we can’t fully explain or justify.
I don’t even know why I’m so hooked on women from dating clubs.
It’s honestly incredible that even someone like me—who’s always been told by people around me, “You’re so popular—you must be really successful in love”—has stayed this deeply hooked. I guess everyone who’s good at romance ends up getting addicted to it.
And precisely because this is love bought with money, there’s nothing to worry about. This connection is just too powerful.
I wonder if, as more people read things like this and join, the benefits will eventually make their way around to each of us.
Maybe the numbers won’t actually increase, though…
Even after ten or several dozen years of marriage, a sudden divorce is still possible. In the same way, whether you’ve met someone 500 or 600 times through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) doesn’t necessarily mean anything. What matters is how much you look forward to the future of seeing them, and whether you can imagine wanting to continue. Lately, I’ve been thinking that marriage and papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) have that aspect in common.
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If you keep doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) for too long, you eventually hit a dead end. That’s exactly where I am.
A breathtakingly beautiful woman—like someone out of a dream—has been asking me to move in with her. She’s been saying it for over a year, but I still haven’t been able to take the plunge. If it meant I could live with and have this beauty all to myself, she’s the kind of woman who could make me give up being human right this second.
But there are three other women who are every bit as beautiful as she is.
Choosing one would mean cutting the other three off. There’s absolutely no way I can do that.
Still, she brought up moving in again the day before yesterday, and I’m seriously wavering.
A chance like this probably comes along once in ten lifetimes, if that—and when I’m reincarnated, I’ll probably come back as a sewer rat or a cockroach anyway...
Should I keep seeing all four of them while maintaining a little distance, or move in with one and have a relationship with zero distance between us? I honestly have no idea which is the right choice...
And yet, as I’m writing this, I’m enough of a terrible man to have just offered a new B1 girl an arrangement.
Update:
Mac, I’ve been feeling lonely because my anti-fan respondents have been disappearing one after another.
As I wrote this answer all about myself, I was hoping one of those irritated anti-fans might come back. The person asking this question is stuck because of papa-katsu, and I’m stuck too, so I tried to write an answer that would annoy the anti-fans while keeping that in mind. Somehow, though, I ended up hooking Mac instead ♡
Update 2:
I suppose I’m happy, but at the end of the day, it’s love I bought with money, so I can’t really call it happiness. I’m not even sure what to make of it anymore.
So I’m starting to think maybe I should just move in with her on a whim.
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I think this site serves not only as a place to ask questions, but also as a way to sort through your thoughts by explaining your situation and putting an end to your uncertainty.
You seem to be the latter type of questioner. I can tell that you’re struggling with a lot of conflicting feelings. That said, as you probably understand, I can’t offer any concrete advice to solve the problem, because this is ultimately something you have to decide for yourself.
I’ll simply share what came to mind as I read your post.
Because of my work, I occasionally go to high-end clubs. The places I visit most often are Nakasu and Kokura. Nakasu has quite a few hostesses who keep things strictly businesslike, whereas Kokura has many hostesses who are, for better or worse, much more emotionally involved. Even someone like me, who isn’t exactly refined in his behavior, has been confessed to twice. Perhaps for that reason, the percentage of single mothers among Kokura’s hostesses is incredibly high. There are many cases where they genuinely fall for a customer and want to have a child with him.
The problem is that most of them end up struggling financially, at the very least.
What I’m trying to say is that although you appear to be earning quite a lot, there’s a reason nightlife work is sometimes called “water trade”—your income can suddenly dry up.
Rather than trying to suppress your feelings, I hope you can think a little about the financial side as well and find a way to handle those feelings constructively.
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So, what’s your question?
This is the “Papa-Katsu Anonymous Q&A” forum.
Before posting, you should have seen several notices telling you to submit a “question.”
P.S.
When I give a cold reply like this—or don’t reply at all—it’s usually because I assume it’s the same troll as always.
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