I can see how that kind of thing might be part of the play.
If that’s how you see it, you could go along with it and indulge him—but this part:
> He told me, “If you’re okay with just being friends with benefits, then let’s date,” and in the end, I went back to being his girlfriend.
makes me feel that the man already has the upper hand, and that he no longer sees you as part of a role-play, but genuinely as nothing more than a sex toy.
If that’s the kind of relationship you want, I don’t think you would have asked this question in the first place. So if you don’t like it, I think you should break up with him rather than simply telling him how you feel.
That said, perhaps you have such strong “M” tendencies that you can’t feel fulfilled unless you’re treated that way. You might not feel satisfied in a relationship with an ordinary man and end up getting back together with him anyway.
With that in mind, first think carefully about what you want and what kind of man you like.
If you need someone who can satisfy your “M” side, perhaps you should look for another man who is good at treating someone that way.
I think it’s best to be with someone who doesn’t make you do things you dislike.
I’ve never made anyone call me a “sex toy,” but I do enjoy verbal teasing and having my partner say embarrassing things during play. Of course, I never say such things over a meal.
Why not just accept it as a personal preference, not overthink it, and take pleasure in satisfying your partner?
If she’s gone from being a fuck buddy to being your girlfriend, does that mean you’re no longer receiving an allowance? If so, he’s not a papa (a male supporter)—he’s your boyfriend.
Putting you down as a “human toilet” while treating you like his girlfriend is what’s known as “heaven and hell,” a classic form of DV—emotional rather than physical abuse.
I do it myself fairly often. During sex, I’ll have her say things like, “I’m Mr. ◯’s masturbator. You’re free to use me whenever you want.” If she’s suited to it, she’ll eventually start saying it on her own.
In my case, I always pay an allowance and make it clear that it’s part of the role-play. I’m careful not to let the emotional distance between us become too small. I’d feel terrible if some girl’s life ended up being ruined because of an old man like me.
How does the man in the question intend to take responsibility for the romantic feelings growing inside her? He isn’t married, is he?
If he is married and you aren’t receiving any money, you should seriously reconsider the relationship itself.
Even if you still love him and find it hard to leave, at least recognize that your inability to let go is rooted in being treated like a human toilet. That man has a fetish for emotional abuse. You may be caught in his trap without even realizing it.
“Heaven and hell.” Heaven exists because there is hell. It’s worth remembering that.
People say that once you experience the “heaven and hell” cycle of DV, it becomes addictive. Ordinary romance starts to feel too mild and unsatisfying. At the very least, be aware that this kind of psychological effect exists in the human mind. It’s like meth or a host club. Don’t take it lightly.
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I checked his past posts and found out this person is a man in his 40s. Now I feel like I wasted my time writing that answer, but someone might find it useful, so I’ll leave it up.
↓ Same ID:
What’s the difference between a dating club and a delivery health service? You’re paying money either way, right??
2025/02/01 18:30 Male, 40s, Universe male member 32616
I have a papa (a male supporter) who has been supporting me for over four years on a monthly arrangement. No matter how close we become, it’s still a transactional relationship through the dating club...
2025/01/19 15:47 Female, 20s, Universe female member 32616
I’m currently seeing three women regularly. I haven’t told any of them about the others, and if possible, I’d rather not tell them...
2022/03/31 23:50 Male, 40s, Universe male member 32616
No one—not even the people involved—can really say what they “should” or “shouldn’t” do.
Personally, I like people who are upfront about having relationships with other men, and who can say no when something makes them uncomfortable.
But that’s simply my preference. No one other than your partner can know what’s truly in their heart.
