I’m new to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
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For an adult relationship (intimate) after the first meeting, do people usually go to a hotel after lunch or dinner? Is it also normal to go straight to a hotel?
I assume it depends on the time of day you meet, but what do you all usually do?
I’d appreciate your advice.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂50s👑Universe male member
We did sometimes go straight to a hotel, but we rarely had sex immediately after entering the room.
We’d eat in the room, enjoy a movie or some games, or leave our bags there and go out to grab something.
If the date is enjoyable, I think it’s fine even if the order is reversed.
It’s me.
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I usually skip the meal and go straight to the hotel. You can have plenty of conversation there too.
That said, with my favorite girl, I see her far more often just for dinner without intimacy.
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Since I do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) during the day, the usual flow is tea—not lunch—then a hotel, followed by a meal before we part ways.
Those who do papa-katsu at night might skip the tea. In practice, when time is tight, it can also be just the hotel followed by a meal.
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As long as you and your partner agree, I think any kind of date can work.
Personally, even though it’s different from a regular romantic relationship, I find it more enjoyable to treat her as a woman in her own right. I think that’s part of the appeal unique to dating clubs. It can also be fun to recreate dates you used to go on with a girlfriend—or ones you never got the chance to try.
Here are a few examples of things I’ve done:
- Dinner or another date out, followed by a hotel
- Hotel first, followed by dinner—or going to see a live show
- Bringing food to the hotel, watching a movie together, and then having sex
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Some people think rationally, prioritizing the allowance for an adult relationship (intimate), while others also care about the date itself. So if you’re in the former group, it’s possible to arrange a date that’s just the hotel, or where the meal can be anything.
When most women say they’re fine with “anything” for food, they genuinely mean anything—from convenience-store food, fast food, and family restaurants to high-end restaurants.
For a second meeting, try arranging it for sometime between 2 and 4 p.m. That way, the flow naturally becomes hotel first, followed by a meal if you feel like it—or not. It can also improve the man’s time efficiency, not just the woman’s.
When setting the meeting time, women who want to have a meal as well will probably avoid that time slot.
After that, just meet in person and get a feel for what she wants based on the flow and atmosphere of the day. Since she’s meeting you a second time, there’s a good chance her preferences are fairly close to yours.
P.S.
> Lately, I feel like there are fewer places with games or karaoke.
Recently, more places have been installing the latest DAM and JOYSOUND karaoke systems. During the pandemic, a few proper venues started offering them, and now more places have up-to-date facilities that can easily serve as an alternative to a karaoke box. Rooms with karaoke are often the first to get booked.
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I think it depends on the person.
Personally, I see a dating club as a place to meet a partner, not a sex establishment. So I only date people I can enjoy things with beyond sex, and that’s what we do as well. Relationships with someone who only enjoys sex haven’t lasted long for me.
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Ask the woman what she prefers and try to accommodate her—it’ll probably make the arrangement last longer.
Some women dislike it if you don’t take them on proper dinner dates at nice restaurants, because it feels too much like straightforward prostitution.
Others prioritize time efficiency and worry about being seen, so as long as the allowance is the same, they’re fine with meeting and parting at a hotel.
I feel like a lot of women want the whole dinner-date experience, though…
Women often judge how much a man values them—and what kind of treatment they’ll receive—by the restaurants he takes them to, haha. So if that’s the type of woman you’re seeing, take her to a proper, adult-oriented restaurant with a nice atmosphere.
Everyone’s different, which is what makes this activity so interesting.
It took me over five years of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), but I finally met a woman who’s comfortable with overnight stays and trips. I previously wrote in a column that I’d stopped traveling because it was too demanding, but my current overnight partner has no problem with it, so we always stay over and enjoy wonderful times together, lol. Sorry for bragging.
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I feel uncomfortable when I’m too full, so when arranging the time for the second date, I’m upfront and ask whether we could go to the hotel first and eat afterward.
I’ve never been turned down.
The total allowance is stated clearly, and the whole arrangement lasts a little over three hours.
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Basically, the usual flow is dinner followed by going to a room. However, around 20–30% of women prefer to skip dinner and prioritize time efficiency, so I tailor things to the other person.
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It depends on the person, so it’s hard to say for sure, but since the first meeting usually starts with a meal, I think it’s fairly common for subsequent dates to follow the same pattern—having a meal first.
That said, if the woman says, “I’m dieting, so I can’t really eat much,” it may turn into just having tea. Or if she says, “I feel embarrassed because my stomach sticks out right after eating,” they might go to the hotel first and eat afterward.
There are also men who use these services as a substitute for adult entertainment and think even paying for a meal is a waste of money, so they may go straight to a hotel from the second meeting onward.
But in that case, I can’t help feeling that it’s no longer an “adult relationship (intimate)” and has simply become paid dating.
Of course, if the man is happy as long as he gets intimacy, and the woman is happy because she gets paid just for that and the hourly rate makes it worthwhile, then I don’t think it’s anyone else’s place to criticize.
Still, I sometimes feel that an arrangement involving companionship beyond intimacy alone is what a “true adult relationship” should be.
P.S. > Watching TV or playing games while eating at the hotel
Many hotels have fairly large TVs—60 inches or bigger, except at cheaper places—but lately, I feel like fewer of them have games or karaoke machines.
If anything, having that kind of equipment gives the place a rather retro feel…
Also, there aren’t that many movies available to watch on the TVs. I wish hotels would sign up for a service with a larger selection, like Netflix.
Come to think of it, you don’t really see those hotel-only satellite TV systems for adult programming anymore, either.
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In my case, I give an overall figure that includes the meal, date expenses, and allowance. So if the meal or date costs less, the allowance goes up.
That’s why it’s perfectly normal for us to bring takeout to a hotel as part of a date.
Update:
You can watch TV, play games, or take a relaxing bath while eating at the hotel. There are plenty of ways to enjoy yourselves without going anywhere else.
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