Have any of you ever gotten deeply involved with someone?

Are you in love with each other, or are you simply caught up in the relationship? Which is it…? Getting deeply caught up is arguably one of the unique perks of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) for the papa (a male supporter). In romance, relationships, and marriage, it seems more accurate to say that both partners are in love rather than that the man is simply caught up in it. Whether it’s love or being caught up, both can make you feel happy. So what stage do you think you’re at? How can I get through this without causing problems? The key is not changing your behavior. Had you always had other lovers or girlfriends before getting married? If you’ve consistently had them, then the excitement is nothing new, so your wife won’t notice or become suspicious. If you suddenly start acting cheerful and giddy, she’ll probably figure it out right away. What’s unfortunate, judging from your wording, is that… It doesn’t sound like you see this woman as being better than your wife, or even as one of the best women in your life. Whether she’s your wife or a woman from a dating club, if you truly feel that she’s one of the best women in your life, there would be no need to look for anyone else. I imagine her very existence would make you feel happy. Feeling distressed about it would be out of the question. It seems you’re still at a stage where your attention can easily wander. If the woman has ever been the one to suggest breaking up, then I think it would be best to end things quickly.

> I haven’t found anyone better than my girlfriend on Premier Black either. The two women at Universe whom I thought were “the cutest girls out there” were both Platinum-class. You should make an offer to someone in Platinum. You might find someone even better. That said, I’ve never gotten emotionally invested in anyone. I’m actually trying to, but... I just can’t help keeping women at a distance.

The appeal of Uchu Club? I suppose it’s different for everyone. That said, becoming genuinely serious about each other and repeatedly breaking up and getting back together doesn’t sound so bad either—even though I’ve never experienced it myself. It’s human, after all, and I think that’s part of the appeal. It isn’t easy to smooth things over, but perhaps Eiichi and Yukichi might work their magic. One of my seniors keeps the balance between several mistresses and his wife by using Eiichi and Yukichi. As he puts it: “Having only one mistress is what causes friction. With several, it becomes an ellipse and everything rounds out.” Of course, he always adds, “Just don’t skimp on the Yukichis for that purpose.” This probably isn’t helpful at all, but when you think in terms of “to be or not to be,” your perspective becomes narrow. I’m not mocking you, but what you’re doing probably looks like a laughing matter to outsiders. Still, no matter what other people say, aren’t we all born to indulge in a little play? Let’s wander and see where it takes us!

Wow… I didn’t realize there were women who get into papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) and genuinely think, “We can’t get married, so let’s break up.” I thought they registered with a more transactional mindset… Also, with so many candidates out there, are you really approaching the other female members seriously? If marriage is off the table, why not stop dealing with such a high-maintenance woman and look for someone who doesn’t say things like that? With this many registered members, is it really possible not to find anyone? The words you use limit your actions, so once you start saying, “I can’t find anyone” or “This is painful,” you won’t find anyone. Believe that you will find someone. If you seriously make plenty of offers, I’m sure you’ll find the right person.

This is truly the kind of question that makes a club feel its efforts are worthwhile. I understand that you believe your current partner is a Premier Black member, so you’ll never meet another woman who surpasses her. But the classes assigned by clubs are based on the assumption that a woman’s appeal can only be conveyed through website text, photos, and one-way videos. They’re essentially beauty-contest-style rankings designed to maximize the club’s matching fees. Even after meeting a real woman in person, thinking, “The club gave her the Premier Black ranking, so she must be that exceptional,” shows an extraordinary level of trust—or even faith—in the club’s classification system. Since both you and I are looking for women through a club, we’re probably not all that different. But if I could take things as naively and literally as you do, life might be easier in some ways. That strong tendency to hold firmly to your assumptions is probably what has you stuck in the same cycle of breaking up and getting back together for the same reasons.

Even if there are other affair couples who seem to be making it work, that has nothing to do with your suffering.