Do you usually let someone know before meeting whether an adult relationship (intimate) is on the table that day before making plans?

Of course she would. Invite her when you feel like doing it. Conversely, how would you feel if you said you wanted to, but she told you she wasn’t in the mood and didn’t want to?

For women, isn’t the important thing whether or not there’s an allowance? As long as you give the allowance for an adult relationship (intimate) regardless of whether the woman agrees to it, there shouldn’t generally be a problem. But if the arrangement is that she only gets transportation costs when there’s no adult relationship, and you decide on the day whether or not to have one, that’s extremely self-centered on the man’s part. There may be women who are okay with that, but I think it would be fairer to discuss it beforehand. Taro

For women I see frequently, it depends on the individual woman that day, so nothing is decided before we meet. Since I go along with what she wants, a woman might say during dinner, “Tonight is just dinner,” but then change her mind after leaving the restaurant and say, “Actually, let’s go to a hotel.” Or, when there’s only a little time left before the last train, the mood between us may build and we may both feel like going. Even if we’ve talked about going to a hotel that day, we might decide not to if there’s a movie we want to see, an interesting-looking restaurant or bar, or some other activity that seems more appealing. Going with the natural flow and enjoying the moment can make for some great memories. There’s nothing wrong with going somewhere when you really hit it off—whether that’s a hotel, a restaurant, or somewhere to have fun. With women I only see occasionally, I ask after we meet whether they want an adult relationship (intimate), but in most cases it does end up going that way. Depending on the relationship and the woman, some want an adult relationship (and an allowance) every time, while others don’t want that every time. People’s views vary even more, so I think it’s something you build based on your relationship with that particular woman. Some women—and men, too—want to do whatever the other person wants to do, so in those cases, I think you need to be especially considerate.

With women in a monthly arrangement, we rarely decide in advance whether there will be an adult relationship (intimate) or not. There are actually more days when I don’t have an adult relationship with my monthly partners. I haven’t had one with the woman tied for first place in my ranking for the past three months, but I’m not reducing her monthly allowance. With another woman who was also ranked first, there was a period of seven months with no adult relationship at all, yet I continued giving her the amount we had agreed on for the monthly arrangement. Conversely, with pay-per-meeting partners, we almost always decide in advance whether there will be an adult relationship or not.

I decide whether an adult relationship (intimate) is included when we make the next arrangement. If it’s without intimacy, we plan a day trip or outing together—this time of year, maybe going to see the holiday illuminations. If you see each other several times a week, I think it’s fine to decide at the time. But if you only meet once or twice a month, it’s probably better to agree on it beforehand. As long as the woman is comfortable with it, there shouldn’t be a problem, so discuss it with her.

Is this about someone you’re seeing on an ongoing basis? If I decide not to go through with it for my own reasons, I still give her the allowance as though we had the adult relationship, and I wouldn’t bring something like that up when making plans to meet. When I meet a woman, unless she turns me down, I’ll have her take off her underwear even if I’m not really in the mood, and then give her the allowance. Reducing the allowance on the spot feels extremely one-sided, so if the man decides not to go through with it, I think he should still pay the allowance.