The other day, I had sex with my boyfriend after he’d been drinking, and he didn’t ejaculate. When I asked whether it still felt good when he didn’t finish, he said, “If ejaculating is 100%, then not ejaculating is probably about 20% pleasurable.” (But he also said he enjoys watching a woman’s reactions, so he doesn’t mind not ejaculating.)
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I was surprised to learn that women can still enjoy sex even without orgasming.
Sometimes my papa (a male supporter) doesn’t ejaculate when we’re intimate either. From a man’s perspective, does that mean it doesn’t feel good at all?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
I was surprised to learn that women can still enjoy it without orgasming.
You say “women,” but I think that applies only to you or a small number of women. I want to orgasm a lot, and if my partner is attentive, I’d like to squirt too—I find it pleasurable when I do. I also want men to orgasm plenty, so I adjust the tightness of my vagina by tightening and relaxing it.
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> Does that mean that, from the man’s perspective, it doesn’t feel good at all?
Why is it that when you asked your boyfriend, the answer was 20%, but when you ask here, it becomes “it doesn’t feel good at all”?
If you think about it normally, if your boyfriend answered “20%,” then your question here would probably be:
“Does that mean that, from a man’s perspective, it feels about 20% pleasurable?”
I don’t really understand why the wording changed.
Maybe you responded to your boyfriend with something like, “20%? So it doesn’t feel good at all, then”?
But “feeling 20% good” and “not feeling good at all” seem completely different to me.
Getting back to the main point:
If we assume that “men ejaculate when it feels good” (although I’ve heard that some adult video actors can ejaculate whenever they want, so there are exceptions), then ejaculating would mean that it feels 100% pleasurable.
But if you reverse that logic, it would mean that even if it feels 99% pleasurable, he still wouldn’t ejaculate, since it hasn’t reached 100%.
Thinking about it that way, even though the level of pleasure when he doesn’t ejaculate may vary from person to person, he still wouldn’t ejaculate even if it felt as good as 99%.
It feels a little like I’m forcing the logic, but I think it’s worth keeping in mind that this is also possible.
Also, as he said:
“But I like seeing the woman’s reactions, so I don’t mind not ejaculating.”
That may be true as well.
Some men feel dissatisfied if they don’t ejaculate after paying money, while others don’t particularly care about ejaculation itself and find meaning in the intimate experience as a whole.
To put it another way, some men are happy just being affectionate at a hotel, while others are satisfied simply going on a date together without even going to a hotel.
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Broadly speaking, the figures in your question—100% and 20%—are correct.
Delayed ejaculation is just a consequence of aging and one’s own habits, so there’s not much to be done about it.
If he has genuine feelings, there’s a higher chance he’ll be able to go all the way. So if it’s always a dud, it might be time to part ways.
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I can understand not climaxing with a papa, but I don’t really get not climaxing with a young boyfriend…
If you’re in a relationship, I’d imagine you might get carried away three or four times in one night when traveling—right after arriving at your room, while taking a bath at the hot springs, before going to bed, and so on. Is that actually pretty common?
If we’re talking purely about physical pleasure, then sure, that may be the case. But whether the sex was good isn’t determined by ejaculation. What matters is whether the woman enjoyed it, whether the man was able to climax at a similarly satisfying moment, and whether both partners feel that the other was fulfilled. Compatibility is also a very important factor in papa-katsu. Couples in love transcend that, though, so I think they can still feel happy regardless of their physical compatibility.
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Men can’t actually experience the kind of pleasure women feel, so it’s impossible to describe it precisely. But just as women can feel good even before reaching orgasm, men also feel pleasure before ejaculation. Ejaculation is, quite literally, the climax—and afterward, the pleasure suddenly disappears, almost as if you’ve fallen off a cliff. That’s probably one difference between men and women. Some say that a clitoral orgasm is similar to male ejaculation, so if you know what that feels like, it may be something close to that.
Personally, I find that after having sex without orgasming several times, finally reaching orgasm feels many times more intense. So I think that can be a fun way to enjoy things too.
That said, I don’t insist on either myself or my partner reaching orgasm. Focusing too much on it puts pressure on both people and takes away from the fun. I’d rather enjoy the pleasure and sense of happiness that comes from being physically close together. So, for what it’s worth, there are occasionally men like me who are a little different.
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Most men probably find ejaculation the most pleasurable part.
Ideally, the woman is satisfied too, and Fuu ejaculates as well. But as you get used to it and the number of times adds up, you can sometimes become a delayed ejaculator…
You need to create the right stimulation.
It’s true that alcohol dulls your senses, so when I’m going to drink a lot, I switch the order to dinner first, then the room.
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Whether a woman seems to be enjoying herself is all that matters to me, so ejaculation isn’t the point. I’m completely satisfied as long as she climaxes several times, even if I don’t.
On the other hand, even if I climax but she doesn’t, I consider it some of the worst sex. My satisfaction level is only about 20%.
I can generally control my ejaculation pretty well, so once I’ve confirmed that she’s climaxed a few times, I’ll ejaculate to make her feel satisfied. It’s ejaculation for her sake, not mine.
Women can get anxious if you don’t ejaculate, thinking, “Am I not making him feel good?” That’s often the only reason I choose to ejaculate.
I also have a monthly arrangement partner who checks how much semen I ejaculated, so I make sure not to ejaculate with anyone else the day or two before seeing her.
My monthly arrangement partners know that ejaculation isn’t everything to me, so many of them are understanding even when I don’t ejaculate.
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Even without ejaculating, the pleasure is about 80%, but without ejaculation, I still feel like I haven’t fully relieved myself.
For example, if you stop urinating partway through, you don’t feel completely relieved until you finish, right? It’s like that.
So I guess it’s accurate to say the pleasure is 80%, but the sense of satisfaction is only 20%.
(If the woman enjoys herself, my satisfaction increases by 50%, bringing it to 70%.)
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The word “not at all” can be rephrased as “completely.” If something feels 20% good, I don’t think you can say it feels not good at all—completely unenjoyable.
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