I’ve asked a couple of questions here in the past.

I also mainly consider dating type B, but if the first dinner goes well, I’m willing to adjust the terms of the arrangement. If someone gets angry just because the terms come up, I simply assume we weren’t a good match from the start and move on. *Though that’s never actually happened to me.* Even when I say dating type B1, I generally have about three or four meetings in mind. If I can’t picture the relationship developing after three or four meetings, there’s a good chance I won’t be able to see it becoming anything beyond dinner, no matter how many more times we meet. This is based on my own local experience, but when I’ve spoken with women who are open to a relationship developing, most of them had already decided at the first dinner whether it was a possibility or not. Choosing B1 was usually just a way of saying they wanted to meet a few more times before making a final decision. So, like the other respondents, I think it’s better to set a rough limit on how many times you’ll meet and avoid having the same dinner over and over without making any progress.

Being B1 doesn’t necessarily mean things will turn into a long-term arrangement. In my experience, if a woman hasn’t progressed to an adult relationship (intimate) by the third meeting, the chances of things developing later—no matter how many more times you meet—are extremely low. The reason these arrangements drag on is that, because she’s B1, the man tries to be considerate and avoids bringing up an adult relationship, continuing to go on dates instead. That leaves the woman unsure of what to make of things, and the meaningless dinner-only (no intimacy) dates continue. The first thing to do is clearly present your terms early on—by the second meeting at the latest—including what you have in mind if things progress. A woman who gets angry about that probably wasn’t considering an adult relationship in the first place. That said, I’ve never actually met a woman who got angry over it. I recommend deciding in advance how many meetings you’re willing to continue before cutting your losses, so you don’t end up repeating endless dinner-only dates.

Before discussing what someone “should” do, I think it’s more useful to lay out the facts as accurately and completely as possible, so I’ll answer on that basis. I’ve met seven women through B1 in the past. In two cases, the women ended things. We continued messaging for a while after the first meeting, but the relationship faded without ever scheduling a second date. There was one woman who agreed to an adult relationship (intimate) from the second meeting onward. She said it was essentially B2, but she found it difficult to turn me down on the spot, so she classified it as B1. We discussed the terms of the arrangement, as well as what kinds of things she did or didn’t like, during the first meeting, and everything was fine from the second meeting onward. Three women agreed from the third meeting onward. With one of them, the subject came up while we were together. With the other two, it started with messages after the date, such as “I’d like to spend more time together next time” and “You’re such a gentleman. I thought you were going to ask me.” The last woman and I finally became intimate on our sixth meeting. I had actually lost interest after nothing happened on the third meeting, but she kept contacting me, so I continued seeing her. Eventually, I started ending things myself by saying I had somewhere to be after dinner. Still, it seemed she had already gotten emotionally invested, and at one point she said with a completely serious expression, “I understand how you feel.” I had no idea what feelings she thought she had understood, but in any case, she agreed on the sixth meeting. I realize this was unfair to her, since by then I was simply going along with it, but I justified myself by clinging to the faint hope that our intimate compatibility might turn things around. In every case, I never brought up the subject myself. The women always raised it first, which naturally led to discussions about the terms of the arrangement. I think women also understand, to some extent, why they register with an arrangement club. Also, I suspect the reason so many of my arrangements began on the third meeting is that, once B2 was defined as “starting from the second meeting,” B1 naturally came to mean “starting from the third meeting.” I think every man secretly holds onto the fantasy that repeatedly meeting a woman who isn’t initially interested might somehow lead to a breakthrough and an arrangement. But you should assume the odds are extremely low. I tried that approach outside of arrangement clubs nearly 100 times, and my success rate was ultimately about 2%. Even with those women, we clicked fairly well from the very first meeting. We went on enjoyable dates, talked at Starbucks, and sometimes realized four hours had passed before we knew it. The arrangement came only after that kind of progression. So, to answer your question, your approach is completely misguided, and I think the chances of the situation you’re currently pursuing working out are virtually zero. Don’t fixate on it—move on to the next person. Eventually, you’ll have some successful experiences and develop a better sense of the going rates and what to expect. Taro

If she’s a B1 type, the man doesn’t have to initiate an adult relationship (intimate). If she’s open to moving things forward, she’ll bring it up herself, and there’ll usually be some kind of action by the fourth or fifth meeting. If she has no intention of taking things further, she’ll just keep dodging the issue even after 100 meetings. If you’re happy simply enjoying her company, then continuing to meet her is also an option. The key question is: what is your main—or ultimate—goal? An adult relationship (intimate), or building a connection? Which one matters more to you? Even if money is her main motivation for receiving an allowance, some women value more than just the money… That said, relationships are important to people. So, honestly, the more you value an adult relationship (intimate), the more building a genuine connection will likely lead you there.

For women who have been registered for a long time and are in the Platinum or Black class: “Under what terms are you seeing your current papa (male supporter)? I’ll offer you more than that.” That’s honestly the only thing I can think of. But if she replies with something like: “I’ve been getting 100,000 yen every time for dinner only (no intimacy) for over a year now.” Or: “We haven’t set a specific allowance for an adult relationship (intimate). On the way home, he just takes a handful of 10,000-yen bills from his wallet and says, ‘Here you go.’ I don’t count it either, but I’d guess it’s around 200,000 to 300,000 yen. He also lets me live in one of his apartments.” Then you’re pretty much out of options. I’m not joking—the person the questioner is trying to compete with probably has stats like that. Maybe there’s still a chance if her previous papa (male supporter) happened to end things and she has an opening. And being in her 40s might not matter if she’s tall and attractive. Still, women have all kinds of preferences when it comes to men. There’s nothing wrong with taking a shot and seeing what happens. The trickiest case is a B1 woman who already has a generous (well-paying) papa (male supporter) but is looking to make a little pocket money over dinner while passing the time. Women like that are often so refined and innocent-looking that you’d never suspect it. They’ve already started by fooling the interview staff at the agency. It’s basic papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) knowledge that B1 is the best class for stringing along a newcomer papa (male supporter) with dinner-only dates. 　 For women who have only recently registered and are in the Standard or Gold class: 1. Clearly confirm her views on an adult relationship (intimate) during the first meeting. Sometimes she’ll even laugh and say, “Actually, I’m A, but during the interview they told me, ‘You won’t get any offers if you’re A,’ so I put down B1.” 2. Ask how many dates she thinks it would take before an adult relationship might be possible. 3. Ask things like, “Would it be okay if I held your hand?” or “May I put my arm around your shoulder?” Gradually deepen the physical contact a little with each date. Only invite her out again if there has been some progress compared with the previous date. 4. If you feel there’s no chance of anything beyond that, withdraw cleanly. This approach has worked for me. I don’t think anything will progress if you keep repeating the same dinner-only dates with absolutely no physical contact. When dating papa-katsu women, relationships tend to become fixed. Once she has come to see you as “a man I only have dinner with,” that perception is not easily changed. This is very different from real-life romance, so be careful. The reason point 3 above is important is that the woman starts to recognize, “At this rate, I’ll probably eventually have an adult relationship with this man.” The idea is to establish that expectation.

You wrote, “I think it’s best to take things slowly and carefully,” but then asked, “So should I take a long-term approach and be patient?” That wording feels a little odd, because if the latter is correct, then you don’t actually think it’s about taking things slowly, while if the former is correct, the latter question becomes meaningless. If what you want to know is whether being B1 means you should take things slowly and carefully, then even in a B1 arrangement, I think it’s perfectly normal to ask during the second meeting how much time she needs. If she still says she needs to meet more before she can decide—or if she needs a lot of meetings—that probably means she isn’t very interested in you. At that point, you’ll need to decide whether you still want to do everything you can to win her over or cut your losses early. If you want to win her over, you’ll need to take a patient, long-term approach, do things she enjoys, and ultimately aim to become someone she genuinely likes. On the other hand, if you want to cut your losses early, you could set a deadline by saying something like, “I’d like you to decide by the third meeting.” If she still can’t make up her mind, you can stop seeing her after the fourth meeting. Of course, setting a deadline may also encourage her to reach a favorable decision by the third meeting. In that case, it would also be a good idea to discuss how much the allowance should be if she agrees after the third meeting. Naturally, her decision may also depend on the amount of the allowance. If you never discuss the allowance and the man talks only about his own ideals, she may assume, “He’s here looking for a romantic partner, so I probably won’t receive any allowance.” So I think it’s important to discuss the allowance as well, so she doesn’t get that impression.

“After we’ve met five times, if things haven’t progressed by then, I’ll give up,” you can say with a smile at the end of your next dinner date. Then, about a week after the fifth date, invite her on a sixth date. Be direct and say, “I’d like to meet at a hotel next time.” If she doesn’t reply after that, it’s over. Honestly, I think you’d get the same result even if you shortened the process by one date. In my case, I’ll go on dinner dates with a B1 woman twice, but if she asks for another dinner date when arranging the third meeting, I fade out without meeting her a third time. Even with B1 women, things often progress to an adult relationship (intimate) by the second meeting, so I set the limit at two dinner dates at most.

① First, let go of the mindset that “she’s a B1, so…” ② Even if they’re only hypotheses, make a list of 20 things you find wonderful about her. ③ Build the mindset that you can continue seeing her even without being intimate with her. ④ Finally—and this is the important part—when the moment is right, swallow your pride and ask her, “I really want to be intimate with you.” If you can do these four things, you’ll probably achieve your goal.