Staff member Akai here. I’m afraid my answer is similar to the others, but there’s only so much you can resolve on your own.
Even if things happen to work out, the underlying issue may not be completely resolved, and you could end up in a cycle where the same thing happens again later. That’s why I feel the quickest solution would be to consult the police or a lawyer.
If you’re afraid to consult the police, you’ll probably have to resolve the situation yourself.
However, that’s usually not realistic, which is why I’d recommend speaking with the police.
If you can’t resolve it yourself and don’t feel able to consult the police, your other option would be to hire a lawyer—but of course, that will cost money.
Consult a lawyer and explain that you’re being stalked. If you call the bar association in your prefecture, they can direct you to a consultation service.
There seem to be several factors to consider, so discuss with your lawyer what the best course of action would be.
You may end up going to the police station with your lawyer. The police tend to act quickly when it comes to maintaining public safety.
Dealing with a stalker isn’t an investigation. It’s more like being chased by someone with a knife and asking a police officer for help. Since the goal is to prevent a crime before it happens, if you explain the situation properly, the police should contact your former papa right away and make him stop.
If he still doesn’t stop, or if you’re worried about anything else, have your lawyer proceed with the next steps.
What I don’t understand is the part where you say, “I’m afraid that if I consult the police, he’ll get angry and tell my husband, so I haven’t been able to ask for help.” They wouldn’t know unless you told them, right? Be sure to explain this to the police as well. If you have all the necessary documents in order, the police will accept your report—though whether they will actually investigate it properly is a separate matter.
I don’t know all the details, but I think consulting a lawyer is another option. They may help prepare the documents to submit to the police and possibly even introduce you to a police station. However, it may cost more than you expect, so please keep that in mind.
No matter what the other person says, you absolutely must not meet them or reply to them. I’m sure the police will tell you the same thing.
The same person as in https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/17255 seems to be asking almost the exact same question again.
Was the “community you originally belonged to” the school you attended? That was a miss. Sorry.
Reposting nearly the same question on purpose makes me feel that the goal isn’t really to get an answer, but to make someone read it. Maybe the questioner isn’t actually the woman involved at all.
Am I overthinking this?
I’ll write my answer again anyway: the only thing to do is consult the police. This isn’t a matter for a lawyer. There hasn’t actually been any harm that needs to be compensated, and the concern is about what might happen in the future.
I said the goal might be “to make someone read the question,” but for example, perhaps the questioner is neither the pregnant woman in her twenties nor the man in his seventies. Maybe they know both of them and want to pressure one or both of them—knowing they probably read this Q&A site—by saying, “I know what you two are up to.”
But if that’s the case, what would the motive be? It’s quite a difficult mystery to solve.
Could it be that the man in his seventies occasionally reads this Q&A site, and the plan is to get us to write, “You should go to the police,” so that he’ll read it and stop contacting her?
Maybe he didn’t see the previous question, since he’s still contacting her persistently, so she asked again in the hope that it would catch his attention this time? If that’s the case, I can understand it.
Incidentally, if that is what’s going on and he still contacts you after a while, ask the same question again using the same wording. I’ll even copy and paste my previous answer to help you out. I may surprise you, but I’m actually pretty straightforward and easy to reason with in situations like that.
I find it very strange that the other answerers keep saying “a lawyer, a lawyer.” I can understand it if you want to file a criminal complaint for fraud, since the line between criminal and civil matters can be blurry. In that case, of course the police probably won’t even accept it unless you organize the evidence and bring it with you.
But this is a different situation.
Also, lawyers tend to be extremely cold and unhelpful when it comes to papa-katsu-related cases. I’m not entirely sure why. If the questioner goes to consult one, I think the outcome will probably be something like paying 5,000 or 10,000 yen to be lectured, then going home with nothing resolved.
You’d be much better off going straight to the police’s Community Safety Division. They’re more sympathetic, it doesn’t cost anything, and they act quickly. It’s better in every way.
I’m saying all of this based entirely on my own experiences.
I suspect that when a papa-katsu woman goes to a lawyer saying, “My papa is stalking me,” the lawyer may look at her less as a victim and more with suspicion, thinking, “What did this woman do to make her papa chase after her?”
When a woman I was seeing became the victim of stalking, I casually introduced her to my own attorney, expecting him to sort things out right away. Instead, I was intensely questioned about whether I was actually being deceived by her, whether the stalking was made up, or whether she and the man were working together. I was treated almost like an elderly person who had fallen for an “ore-ore” scam and was about to transfer money.
I knew other lawyers as well, so I wrote a letter and had her go consult one of them. There too, she was lectured with comments like, “This is what happens when you engage in papa-katsu. You should stop,” paid 10,000 yen, and came home. After that experience, I decided that going straight to the police was the only option.
Lesson learned: papa-katsu women shouldn’t go to lawyers. You’ll only have an unpleasant experience, and nothing will get resolved. Just go straight to the police. It’s not that the police are especially kind to papa-katsu women—they simply aren’t interested in judging them, which is a good thing. But they are tough on stalkers.
Anyway, I got a little carried away writing this. In the end, everyone should do whatever they want. It’s only papa-katsu, after all.
