If you’re already suffering actual harm from stalking, contact the police.
If you’re only being threatened on LINE, contact a lawyer.
At this point, it doesn’t seem like there’s any actual harm backed by evidence, so I’d try to deter them by saying:
“If you contact me again, I’ll contact the police.
If you disclose my private information, I’ll take legal action through my lawyer.”
There may not be much else you can do, but as a general rule, never share personal information—even within loosely connected groups or communities.
What a hassle. Hang in there!
I wrote about this in one of my columns, but a woman I used to see also got pregnant by her boyfriend and ended our relationship. She had a child, and now she sends me photos of the kid. She says she’d like to meet again once things settle down.
I wish all papas were as harmless as I am...
I basically agree with everyone else.
From now on, don’t reply to him at all. Go straight to your local police station’s Community Safety Division. They’re technically open 24 hours, but it’s best to go between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m., avoiding lunchtime if possible.
Don’t show up without a plan. Briefly summarize what has happened so far and clearly explain what you want them to do. It might also help to print out the messages you received.
Stay calm when speaking with the police. That said, personally, I think it’s okay to cry at the right moment.
Going to the police is about protecting yourself and preventing the other person from becoming a criminal. Of course, don’t ever get involved with him again. Still, judging from your message, you seem to be handling things well. Best of luck.
I agree with Mac. I think the best thing to do is consult the police.
If the police caution or warn him, most men will stop taking things any further. If he still keeps contacting you after that, I believe the stalking laws may then apply.
After consulting the police, I think it’s fine to block him.
If the police tell you to resolve it between the two of you, you’ll need to consider another approach, but for now, I think consulting the police is the best option.
We finally got a question that actually sounds like a question for once.
By the way, judging from the ID, this person has never posted a question here before.
> “The community I originally belonged to”
That’s “Papa-katsu Producer ○uto,” isn’t it? Asking questions or seeking advice there does nothing except leak your own information. I’ve written this many times, but women really are their own worst enemies. Just because they’re both doing papa-katsu, people seem to let their guard down.
As for my answer, the only thing to do is call the police station in your area. The Community Safety Division will handle it, contact the man, and have him sign a written pledge that he won’t contact the woman again.
Some people may say, “You don’t need to involve the police,” but this is genuinely important. Put out the fire before it gets any bigger.
I actually went through something similar recently. I was breaking up with a woman I’d been living with, but she wouldn’t make any move to pack her things, so we ended up struggling with each other. When I told her, “If this continues, I’m going to consult the police,” she got there first, contacted them, and I was called in.
Apparently, she claimed that I had assaulted her. But I had bruises too from her gripping my arm tightly, so I showed them and said, “I have injuries too, as you can see.” They replied, “Oh, you’re right. We understand the situation. We’re only here to help you separate cleanly without turning this into a formal case.” In the end, they had me sign the written pledge I mentioned above, and that was it.
They even set a specific move-out date, so for me it was a blessing in disguise. But I suspect the woman wanted the story to be that she had gone to the police herself and gotten me out of her home. Thinking about that still makes me feel humiliated and a little bitter. Still, thanks to her, we were able to break up smoothly, so part of me is actually grateful she went to the police on her own. After being together for that long, I’d gotten emotionally attached and found it difficult to end things myself.
I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ve also helped a woman who was being harassed by an ex who had turned into a stalker. I called the police and handed the phone to her so she could speak with them directly. She was worried and asked, “Does it cost money to consult the police?” I guess that’s the kind of thing you wonder about if you’ve never done it before. It won’t cost you anything, and they’ll also keep your situation confidential from your spouse.
Did you keep your boyfriend a secret? You should’ve said so from the start.
I hate being blindsided like that, so I only get close to girls who already have boyfriends.
If you genuinely don’t have one, that’s one thing, but I think what I hate most is when someone hides the fact that she has a boyfriend.
