I’m a man in my 50s who is still heartbroken, even after breaking up with a woman in her 30s. Thank you all for your advice.
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Some of you wondered, “Why did you break up?” Here’s the answer:
1. The sex was too forceful.
I used my financial and social advantage to pressure her into things like finishing inside her and forceful blowjobs, seriously hurting her dignity.
2. I was cold after ejaculating.
Because I was always consumed by work, I coldly told her, “Get dressed and go home soon,” instead of showing her any kindness after sex.
3. I kept pushing marriage.
I repeatedly pressured her to marry me, hinting at my real estate and company position.
I’ve run a small company for 17 years, but I’ve been struggling with loneliness and stress every day. Then I met this woman in her 30s, and we spent every weekend having sex. Sometimes we also talked about our problems and sought each other’s advice.
Now that we’ve broken up, I go on dates with other women, but I have no intention of getting into another relationship. I want to forget her, but I can’t because she looks exactly like the lead actress in a historical TV drama. Every time I watch it, I’m reminded of her.
When you fall for someone, it’s only natural to treat her with care. I regret that I failed to do so and treated her coldly.
Should a lover be treated as nothing more than a tool for sex? I’d like to hear what everyone thinks.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂50s👑Universe male member
Since you treat people as nothing more than tools or livestock, you should accept that distinction in your own worldview.
People and tools, or people and livestock, cannot get married. Even if they legally did, it would only become a yoke.
A relationship—and a breakup—can only exist between people on equal footing, can’t they? In the first place, you weren’t in a relationship.
They didn’t break up with you; they simply escaped.
Someone you regarded as livestock or a slave merely got away from you.
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Since you managed to bait people so well with your last question, are you suddenly changing the subject this time?
Or is someone else writing these?
Either way, I don’t understand what you get out of doing this.
For what it’s worth, my answer is:
I hope you regret it for the rest of your life.
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If she’d simply been a regular affair partner who wasn’t being paid, I suppose that would’ve been fine. I did something similar myself, a very long time ago.
In an ordinary affair where no money changes hands, the woman is presumably in love with the person asking the question. So even if she’s treated like a sex object or a sex slave, the worse the treatment, the deeper she sinks into the cognitive dissonance of, “I must really love this man if I’m willing to endure being treated this way.”
As far as I know, affairs where no money is involved are often “balanced out” by the woman being treated like a sex slave.
I just realized while writing this: it sounds a lot like domestic violence. An affair conducted by a married man is probably sexual violence in the broad sense.
But in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), paying someone and then treating them that way is unbelievably rude. She isn’t emotionally hung up on the person asking the question at all. Not bringing up marriage is the bare minimum rule, and breaking even that is absolutely the worst.
The person asking the question may think he was in love, but he’s simply disappointed that he lost a convenient woman who would indulge his whims for a little money. This isn’t heartbreak.
So, rather than papa-katsu, I recommend that he try a messy affair where he doesn’t pay her anything.
Start by sweet-talking her and gently luring her in. Then gradually treat her like a sex object and a sex slave.
She’ll probably be thrilled to hear, “I’ll leave my wife and marry you.”
Best of luck.
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I’ll leave the other points to the people who’ve already called you a piece of shit.
> “I was overwhelmed with work.”
> “I’ve run a small company for 17 years, and every day I struggle with loneliness and stress.”
These are the two things I really take issue with. Quit already. Shut the company down. You’re clearly not cut out to be a business owner.
You’re doing something you’re unsuited for, then taking it out on your wife—who’s asking for a divorce—and your girlfriend. You’re a truly awful man.
Business owners being busy is a given, and so are the loneliness and stress, aren’t they? In return, you make a huge amount of money and get to do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), right? Why are you acting like the victim? Where exactly is this magical world where you can make money without working hard?
I also hate the term “mistress.” You’re the one who should be her servant. Why put women beneath you? Women are above us, if anything.
It’s because women are there that men like us can work hard, isn’t it? We should be grateful to women.
The one thing in your favor is that you’re able to calmly analyze your own shortcomings and feel sorry toward the woman who broke up with you.
Most men can’t even do that, so I think you still have a chance to become a decent man.
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