Please tell me how to keep my papa (a male supporter) romantically interested in me long-term.

I always tell my favorite club papa: “I love you!” I’ve never played games… I just tell him honestly how I feel. In bed, I focus on giving him massages so he can fully relax. And although it’s not every time, when we’re saying goodbye after a date, I’ll say, “I don’t want to go home,” and give him my teary-eyed look. (I’m a bit of a crybaby.) Because I really do want to stay together longer and keep chatting with him. From the queen of clingy girls ♡

Some papas may feel that putting your feelings into words can sometimes come across as “too much.” That said, Joe suspects there isn’t a man out there who dislikes a little physical affection. Here are a couple of small personal experiences: 1. A kiss on the Shinkansen platform at Kyoto Station, with the departure chime ringing out. 2. A kiss in Kyoto’s Pontocho after leaving our favorite bar, with a fair number of people passing by. Both times, it was initiated by the woman. I was completely swept off my feet.

For women in their 30s, sexual and romantic desire are probably gradually approaching their peak, so a papa in his 50s might start to feel unsatisfying. The questioner probably liked older men when she was in her 20s, too. Rather than the desperate, constantly-horny attitude of young men, she prefers the calm demeanor of men in their 40s and 50s. Maybe she should find a younger casual partner. But perhaps, like many women, she’s simply not the type who can have romantic feelings for multiple men. If she goes to a swingers’ club, she’ll probably come across quite a few women in their 30s who are frustrated like the questioner. Speaking from the man’s side—and in my case, at least—once a relationship lasts about six months, genuine attachment starts to develop. To be honest, I do start getting used to the person’s body. No matter how compatible we are. Men are always looking for something new and unknown. But once you’re connected emotionally, that bond is strong. She starts to feel like a second family member—or rather, like an extension of yourself. Hurting yourself hurts, so you don’t want to cut that person off. You shouldn’t leave a man waiting around. Do the opposite. Always be ready and eager for him, and when he reaches out, respond happily, never turn him down, and greet him with an enthusiastic hug. Become completely the woman who’s convenient for him. Don’t play hard to get. Mind games will only backfire if you want to build emotional attachment. He’ll probably become even more entitled and behave selfishly in front of the questioner, doing whatever he wants. But that’s fine. Make him feel relaxed. Then he’ll come back. If you compare a man to a ship, you need to become his home port. I suppose it’s similar to the saying, “Take a loss now to gain more later.” If you play the role of the woman who’s convenient for him, he’ll eventually find it hard to leave you. If you try to make him conform to you, he’ll definitely run away.

It comes down to how much of your true self you’re willing to reveal. There are plenty of women who are attractive, have great figures, are good in bed, friendly, and compatible. To use a recent movie as an example, maybe it’s like the “old man” in *Let’s Talk About Suomi*? Even if it doesn’t go that far, sharing expressions and a kind of relationship you don’t show anyone else can feel special.

If this were a romantic relationship, I’d advise something like, “Find another boyfriend, then keep a healthy distance from your current one while you regain the upper hand.” But this is papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), after all…. Maybe your papa’s financial situation has worsened, so I can’t think of a perfect solution. Generally speaking, though, I think it’s difficult to find a way forward without making him feel good in bed. From here on, I’m talking about my own experience. It may not be typical, so take it only as a reference. Over the past few months, I met a Black-level woman with an incredible face and an amazing figure even when undressed. She was probably the most beautiful woman I’d ever met. But she was only average in bed. Her allowance was exactly five figures. Personally, I thought that was an absolute bargain for someone in her class. On the other hand, there’s a woman whose looks and body are probably Gold-level, but whose performance in bed is Black-plus level. I’m torn over which of the two I should make my monthly arrangement. However, the woman who ultimately became my regular, ahead of both of them, is Platinum-level in looks, body, and in bed—but above all, she’s incredibly fun and full of energy. She would suddenly kiss me while we were driving or lightly touch my package, and the fact that she did it so naturally, without it feeling calculated, really got to me. That’s how I ended up having my first monthly arrangement in two years. She has a boyfriend, has taken me to the love hotel she usually goes to with him, and once even ordered me to perform Nakata Hidetoshi in the car while watching her boyfriend from right in front of his workplace. She throws me around—in a good way. There’s zero sense that either of us is genuinely falling in love, but it’s just incredibly fun. Everyone has different strengths. I’d love to hear what you consider your “strong points.” I’m sure there are things about you that papas really respond well to.