I’ve gone back to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
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I’ve been offered an allowance of ¥150,000 a month, and I’m really tempted. But honestly, I felt sick when he touched my chest. He’s also over 70, which makes me feel utterly miserable. He even talked to me about his penis, and it made me realize that no matter how nicely you phrase it as papa-katsu, it’s still prostitution.
How do you all view papa-katsu?
Marriage has a clear definition, and it’s officially registered so that third parties can recognize the relationship. But when a relationship isn’t made known to others, I think it depends on how the people involved each perceive it.
That’s why one person may think they’re boyfriend and girlfriend, while the other sees it as a friends-with-benefits relationship or an affair.
Relationships in which a man provides money or some other kind of support have probably existed for a long time. But Universe Club, which coined the marketing term “papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan),” apparently celebrated its 12th anniversary last year. So what were those relationships called before then?
We may conveniently describe relationships as friends with benefits, mistresses, girlfriends, and so on, but those labels probably don’t carry that much deep meaning. Even the same person may use different terms depending on the situation.
In short, if you consider your relationship with that man to be prostitution, then that’s what it is. If you think of him as your boyfriend who also gives you money, then that’s what it is.
If you really want to describe your relationship with a simple word, I think it would be best to discuss it with the other person involved.
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If I were reborn right now as an 18-year-old woman, with the same mind I have now…
I’d do tons of NN soap and papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), make 100 million yen as quickly as possible, and invest it in stocks.
Then, from age 25 onward, I’d just enjoy life. Let’s have fun with savings (that’s the whole point of making money).
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To increase membership, it was basically a marketing move. The Universe Club won by coming up with the catchy, approachable term “papa-katsu.”
That said, when you look at it objectively, it’s still a relationship involving money and, in some cases, physical intimacy.
But as the site administrator said, the biggest advantage is that women can choose too. You can weigh the allowance against the terms of the arrangement and decide what works for you.
If you find him too creepy and absolutely can’t do it, end things quickly and leave that papa to a woman who can accept those terms.
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I see women in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) as actresses.
If the script and appearance fee are satisfactory, they should continue—and they’re free to negotiate both the script and the fee.
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The reason the person asking felt conflicted was probably because “the allowance would really help,” but I see it differently.
I think what shook them was remembering how uncomfortable they felt when their chest was touched. It seems they already know the answer deep down, don’t they?
And I agree with the questioner’s view that papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is prostitution. I also try not to forget that, no matter how I justify it to myself, this is still paying for sex.
Though I’m still doing it today.
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You sound like a young employee complaining over drinks about how much they hate working in sales.
Whatever the job is, work hard and make it something you can build your future on.
There’s nothing wrong with not being satisfied with who you are now. That feeling that “this isn’t the real me” is important. It’s called ambition.
At the same time, it’s important not to belittle your present self too much. Even if your current situation is merely a stepping stone to becoming the person you want to be, treating that stepping stone carelessly will make it break. Then you’ll have nothing left.
Try to look at things positively.
Keep believing in your future. If you can do that, you can survive even if you’re made to take an 80-year-old man’s penis in your mouth or forced to clean toilets with your bare hands.
That’s what it means to have the strength to live.
Do your best. I envy you for being young.
Whether papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is prostitution or not doesn’t really matter. What matters is whether that 150,000 yen a month is truly necessary for the person asking the question—for the sake of their precious future.
If you need it, grit your teeth and keep going. I’ll support you.
So, in answer to “How do you view papa-katsu?” I’d say: “It’s a stepping stone for a girl to climb toward her future self.”
For me, of course, it also serves as an outlet for sexual desire, but there’s something not entirely unpleasant about the feeling of getting down on all fours and being used as a stepping stone, too.
I suppose that’s the wisdom that comes with age. The young people too busy trying to one-up the other papas probably wouldn’t understand.
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They say you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
I recommend avoiding people you feel repulsed by as much as possible. That feeling will naturally come across, so unless you can switch gears and maintain a transactional mindset, being with a 70-year-old man will be difficult. It probably won’t last.
If trying to increase your monthly income by ¥150,000 and improve your situation leaves you mentally unwell or jaded, causing your overall quality of life to decline, then you’ll have gained nothing.
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Prostitution, mistresses, papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)
I make every effort to ensure that the women who meet me never have words like those above cross their minds.
I spend more on cosmetic procedures for myself than most women do, and even though I dress appropriately for the occasion, I wear a jacket whenever I meet a woman—even in the middle of summer.
And yet, every day, I find myself wondering whether the women I meet are secretly struggling with the same concerns as the person asking this question.
It really is difficult.
I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m genuinely grateful for papa-katsu. Through Universe Club, I’ve had the chance to meet stunningly beautiful women who probably wouldn’t even have made eye contact with me otherwise. Nearly ten of those relationships have continued for years.
Some of them are practically family now. I’ve even been allowed to go on dates with one woman’s best friend. I haven’t met her brother yet, but I’ve met some of their sisters, and I’ve become close enough with others that they’ve introduced me to their parents.
Some of them even help me with my business.
Those are the moments when I think:
“I’m glad I worked hard.”
“I’m glad I made an effort to stay well-groomed.”
Even so, when I see questions like this, I start becoming suspicious and wonder, “Maybe they’re only being considerate of my feelings?”
Still, I think I’ll continue being a papa.
I’ve met so many wonderful women through Universe Club who have enriched my life.
Let’s somehow find reasons to affirm ourselves. That’s what I do. I’m sure there are plenty of ways I’ve inconvenienced the women I meet, and I need to reflect seriously on that. But I’m typing this answer on my computer while hoping that, in some small way, I’ve also been able to contribute something to their lives.
Though I suppose they probably think, “Ugh,” about me after all…
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I think the key difference is that both men and women have the right to refuse in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
You should carefully consider whether it’s the other person’s age that bothers you or papa-katsu itself. If it’s taking a serious emotional toll, I think it’s perfectly fine to quit.
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