The thing that hurts the other person most is canceling at the last minute or simply not showing up as promised without saying anything. More than that, it causes real losses in terms of their time and money. If you’re going to cancel, the sooner you do it, the better. You don’t need to give a reason at all.
When you turn someone down, be firm. Saying, “I’m sorry, but I can’t meet you anymore going forward,” is enough. Once they’ve read it, block them. Let them assume it was just another papa-katsu girl being fickle. Don’t try to soften the blow with unnecessary follow-up messages and end up hurting them more.
Also, if you’re not committed to keeping your promises, it’s better not to make them in the first place. Don’t make plans on the day you meet. At most, just exchange contact information. Even after exchanging contacts, you don’t need to send a thank-you message. If you part without exchanging contact information, the man will usually come up with his own explanation and assume you simply don’t want to see him again.
Making promises and then breaking them is a hassle and destroys trust. Don’t promise what you can’t keep, and don’t say things that give the other person false hope. If you realize you can’t keep a promise, explain it right away. Even if the other person is getting their hopes up on their own, if you can’t meet their expectations, explain that clearly instead of leading them on.
Even among working adults, people who can handle these things properly are trusted. Unfortunately, there are many men and women who can’t do this, whether in work-related situations or otherwise.
Once you’ve made a commitment, follow through—it’s an adult agreement. After that, you can decline online.
If you’re going to cancel, do it as soon as possible. Last-minute cancellations waste someone else’s time and are practically a crime. Your feedback rating may drop, too.
