Whoa! After reading Mac’s comment here, I went back and looked at the question again. I see, I see!! Interesting!
I’m also the type of woman who doesn’t lie, but tends to exaggerate things. (Does that make sense?)
I call myself a “super-affirming girlfriend.”
Based on my experience, men don’t seem to think I’m lying. If anything, the women around me tend to think I’m a liar.
I’m just telling the truth with big reactions—it’s basically a quirk in the way I talk.
I’ve worried about it and tried to change before, but eventually I started thinking, “If I’m saying what I genuinely feel, then doesn’t that mean I’m not lying, being calculating, or putting on an act?”
What’s wrong with saying things in an exaggerated way? It’s super positive, isn’t it?
Isn’t it actually more calculating to see that as being calculating?
I raise my kids with lots of praise, too.
It’s sad when people think you’re lying even though you’re speaking from the heart.
“I'm jealous of your wife!” is such a powerful phrase! I’m going to use that one (*^^*)
Each woman has her own circumstances and personality, so you shouldn’t lump them all together as papa-katsu women and judge them with the prejudice that they’re “liars.” Prejudice means judging someone based on assumptions and preconceived notions.
But in the end, you’re also interpreting the phrase “lying as casually as putting on makeup” based on your own assumptions, taking it to mean that they lie without hesitation.
You can’t point out other people’s assumptions when you’re viewing things through assumptions yourself.
If both men and women were fulfilled in the conventional world, they’d never do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) in their lifetime.
Whether it’s the money or an adult relationship (intimate), this is a world that fulfills those needs. The more value you find in it—such as obtaining something you could never have in the conventional world—the happier you’ll feel. So it’s only natural for embellished words to come out, and natural to feel grateful for all kinds of things.
In my answer to the question that began, “I cared for her like family…,” I wrote that “papa-katsu women lie as casually as they put on makeup.” What made me feel that something in the question was a lie was the claim that it had been written by “a male Universe member in his 60s.” It wasn’t the content of the question itself.
It seems people use this site for all kinds of reasons. I got the impression that someone was testing things by thinking, “I wonder how a ‘male Universe member in his 60s’ would answer if I posted a question like this?” Maybe that’s just my imagination, though.
I’m not necessarily saying that the person who wrote the question was a papa-katsu woman. I don’t know who wrote it. I wrote “papa-katsu women lie as casually as they put on makeup” as a message directed at that person.
After that, someone asked, “Do papa-katsu women also say things like ‘I love you so much I could marry you!’ as casually as they put on makeup?”—using my makeup metaphor. Saying “I love you so much I could marry you!” is probably a lie in the sense that most people who say it have no intention of actually getting married. But if it’s merely what the questioner calls “speaking in an exaggerated way,” then it wouldn’t technically be a lie. It’s a subtle distinction.
A clear-cut lie would be saying, “I can’t pay my tuition,” to get money from a papa when you aren’t even attending school. That would be fraud. There are actually papa-katsu women who have been arrested and charged with criminal offenses for doing exactly that.
The questioner wrote that they “lie without hesitation,” but “without hesitation” and “as casually as putting on makeup” aren’t the same thing. What I meant by “as casually as putting on makeup” was presenting yourself in a beautiful, flattering way. “I love you,” “You look young,” “You’re stylish,” “You’re cool,” and “I’m jealous of your wife”—those are all about the other person, the papa, right? The lies papa-katsu women commonly tell are about themselves. In PJ slang, these are also called their “setup.”
Are you completely honest with your papa about yourself? If so, that’s fine. But many papa-katsu women aren’t. The lies can vary: some are exaggerated, some are simply things they hide by not mentioning them, and some are complete fabrications.
This isn’t prejudice; it comes from my own experience of dating dozens of papa-katsu women. How many papa-katsu women other than yourself do you know?
I went back and reread my previous answer to see where I started using the makeup metaphor. It seems to have originated in my answer to the question, “Because I love my papa so much, I’ll give him extra allowance…” The question was, “Is there any way to somehow make my beloved papa believe that we’re in an exclusive relationship?” So it doesn’t qualify as fraud, but it was still an unabashed lie—not merely an exaggeration. That’s the kind of thing I mean by “lying as casually as putting on makeup.”
Hmm... I feel like there’s no need to get so worked up about it.
In *House, M.D.*, too, “Everybody lies” is Dr. House’s catchphrase.
Isn’t that just the way the world works?
