While receiving support from this club, I also work at a delivery health service to make ends meet.
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I get many new offers from men who want a monthly arrangement, but in practice, it ends up feeling more like pay-per-meeting. Even when we meet once every month or two, or three to four times a month, the relationship usually falls apart after about three months.
I’m not the type to message frequently on LINE, and I don’t actively reach out first. I mostly just reply to people who react to my LINE Stories.
To maintain a monthly arrangement through the club, should I be more proactive about messaging first? My relationships with the men I meet through the club never seem stable, and I’m wondering whether I should just focus on working at the delivery health service.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
I’m not much of a texter either—I keep things pretty simple.
I’ll send photos and a short message, like a snap from a trip, a selfie in my one-piece swimsuit while getting into a river, or “I went to the salon” / “I bought a new dress.” ( '-' )
If there’s a reason or the timing is right, our LINE conversation keeps going, but if I want to go to sleep, I just end it with a sticker. Honestly, he seems happier to get photos than to have us drag out a conversation.
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If I may, I’ve tried to think of why you’re unable to continue your papa-katsu activities.
What’s the difference between a delivery health service and papa-katsu? In my view, if both parties take off their own underwear in the former, the latter involves the man trying to take off the woman’s underwear.
Since you do both, could it be that your “delivery health” habits accidentally come out during papa-katsu? In other words, you quickly take off your own underwear and say something like, “Okay, see you next time.”
Perhaps papas involved in papa-katsu get bored quickly with that kind of relationship. They probably want something a little more emotionally intimate. Of course, I’m one of them too. But “What exactly is emotional intimacy?” is a major question. Generally speaking, the more the relationship becomes the kind of emotional connection the papa wants, the more tightly he tends to keep his wallet closed.
This may not be helpful at all, but personally, I think you should continue both as different ways of making a living.
Also, I think LINE can be effective in papa-katsu if you use it well. There may be more papas who want to exchange pointless messages on LINE than you imagine.
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Whether you focus exclusively on working in a delivery service or on the club, I think it’s best to choose one and make it your main focus.
I don’t think there are many club men who would continue meeting frequently for years with a woman who can work in a delivery service.
A long-term relationship as papa-katsu with a delivery-service customer may actually be more likely.
With club arrangements, I don’t think there’s any need to exchange LINE messages regularly.
It feels more natural to message when you feel like sending something, and to reply promptly when you both want to communicate.
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Personally, I have arrangements that have continued for years even with only infrequent messaging, so I don’t think the issue is simply that you’re not messaging regularly.
Messages are just one way to communicate. Ultimately, I think the important thing is that you enjoy seeing each other.
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You say it’s “effectively pay-per-meeting,” but unless you’re paid a set monthly amount whether you meet or not, it’s pay-per-meeting. In both substance and form, it’s pay-per-meeting all the way.
It’s the same with hair salons, dentists, osteopathic clinics, and massage parlors. If customers aren’t coming in, you have to do some outreach. Often, they simply forgot, so apparently just sending a simple message like “How have you been?” is enough to bring them back. There’s no need to send an overly elaborate message. Start with something simple, then arrange a meeting based on their reply.
If things continue for three months and the results still aren’t what you hoped for, then your marketing has failed. It’s like wanting to catch sea bream in the ocean but fishing in a freshwater river. You might want to adapt to the market and figure out how to catch whatever high-value fish—or wild eel?—are available there. However, that seems difficult for the person asking the question.
Change the market you’re putting your effort into. Since papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) may not suit you, I think it would be best to focus on something you’re good at.
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That’s true—people I’ve been seeing for years actively message me every few days, and we have fun chatting.
I try to get into their hobbies, too. Games and videos are easy enough.
So you can either put in the effort to build one generous (well-paying) relationship, or keep repeating low-paying ones as things are now. If you don’t like messaging, I think your current situation is fine.
I’m about to go on a dinner-only date with someone I lent 40 million yen to. I saw him yesterday too.
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