Some of the men on the site tell me they want a long-term relationship, but none of my arrangements have ever developed into one. I’ve been doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) for a year and a half.

Question

Do most of them say things like that just to deceive you, meet a few times, and then disappear? I feel cheated.

Answer 1

That way of thinking is called blaming others. “If it doesn’t work out, it’s because the other person is at fault.” If you’ve dated several papa (male supporters) and still haven’t been able to maintain an arrangement after a year and a half, you’ll probably find a solution faster by considering that the cause may lie with you. If you continue as you are, things will probably stay the same.

Answer 2

Maybe it’s because you’re a “maguro” (a passive partner). https://ja.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E3%83%9E%E3%82%B0%E3%83%AD_(%E3%82%A2%E3%83%80%E3%83%AB%E3%83%88)

Answer 3

Clubs make it easy for men to cycle through different women, so unless you’re exceptionally compatible, the reality is that long-term arrangements are difficult to maintain. I consider myself the type who tends to form long-term arrangements, but out of more than 30 offers, only about five or six lasted over a year, and just two of those have continued for more than five years. Looking at the other answers here, I’d say that’s probably a relatively high success rate. Even so, fewer than one or two out of every ten arrangements last more than a year. So if you keep an open and genuine heart and accept plenty of offers, statistically speaking, you should eventually meet a long-term papa (a male supporter). Good luck.

Answer 4

Thanks to meeting several women from the club whom I’ve seen hundreds of times over the years, I’m Papahikoki—and since renewing this year, I still haven’t made an offer to anyone. Many club women are cute, cheerful, good conversationalists, make eye contact both when greeting you and while talking, see you off when you leave, and send thoughtful thank-you and greeting messages. They’re almost perfect. But that alone makes things end up feeling ordinary. Unless there’s something that really draws you in, it won’t lead to a long-term arrangement. It’s also possible that a papa who’s looking for a long-term arrangement is already in one, so you may not come across someone like that very often. If you want a long-term arrangement, I think you’ll need the man to feel that there’s something about you that clicks with him—something that sets you apart from the other club women.

Answer 5

I’m the new answerer “0603 Osaka Tokyo” (in my sixth year as a member). I generally prefer long-term arrangements too, but I decide whether to continue seeing someone based on her requested allowance, how enjoyable it is to spend time together over a meal, how much I enjoy messaging on LINE, our physical compatibility, and so on. As a result, some arrangements end after one meeting, some after two, and others after three. I’ve also had quite a few arrangements that lasted over a year. Of course, this assumes an allowance is involved. What matters is how much I can appreciate her—not just as a partner in this arrangement, but as a woman with her own personality—and whether I can remain genuinely interested in her. Unlike ordinary dating, attractive new women are registering every day...

Answer 6

Some men may feel that seeing the same woman a few times is enough, but I think most male members of dating clubs are looking for an ongoing relationship with a woman. The reason you haven’t developed a long-term relationship may simply be that you haven’t met a man with whom you have enough of a connection for it to progress that far. In my personal experience, only about one in 10 to 20 women I meet through a club continues for three or more dates. I often hear from women as well that things usually end after one meeting or a few. I’ve even heard of someone who received more than 30 offers but only stayed with one papa for over a year. Saying they “deceived you” sounds rather envious and like shifting the blame onto others. And since relatively few men would want to continue seeing a woman like that even while giving her an allowance, wouldn’t it be better to think about how you can build a good relationship with the men who have offered to meet you?

Answer 7

You use the expression “was deceived,” but do you mean that: - You were asked to lower the pay-per-meeting allowance because you’d be seeing each other long-term, so you lowered it, but the arrangement didn’t continue? - You were asked to cut ties with your other papas because you’d be seeing each other long-term, so you did—but the arrangement still didn’t continue? I think most people hope to have a long-term arrangement with a good partner, but in reality, it’s generally difficult to find someone like that. (Especially since you can’t know whether you’re physically compatible until you try.) Personally, I’d say only one out of every ten people I make an offer to—or sometimes none—ends up becoming a long-term partner.

Answer 8

I have several arrangements that have continued for years. There are cases where the man is the problem, of course, but—please forgive me for asking something so blunt—could it be that your attitude toward them becomes more careless after you’ve met a few times?

Some of the men on the site tell me they want a long-term relationship, but none of my arrangements have ever developed into one. I’ve been doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) for a year and a half.

8 answers

🏆 Select as Best Answer

✉️ Set a password

Some of the men on the site tell me they want a long-term relationship, but none of my arrangements have ever developed into one. I’ve been doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) for a year and a half.

8 answers

Related Questions

🏆 Select as Best Answer

✉️ Set a password