I have a pay-per-meeting arrangement with someone I see about once a month. For our next adult relationship (intimate), he suggested going to a swingers’ club instead of a hotel.
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I’m not interested in it at all and have never been to one, so I’m not sure what to think. If I went, would I be expected to be with multiple people? Is it a scary place?
I’d appreciate hearing from anyone who has been to one before. Also, were you given the same allowance as usual?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
If you’re not interested, just say no.
That said, I think it would be a good idea to ask the man why he wants to go to a sex club.
If he’s never been to one before and is simply curious, he may just not want to go alone.
In that case, I recommend making sure you’re both clear on whether you’ll be having an adult relationship (intimate) there before agreeing to the date.
If I were in his position, I’d offer the same allowance as for dinner if you were only going to look around. If you weren’t interested, I’d increase the allowance for an adult relationship (intimate) at the club.
Maybe he wants to explore a fetish where he gets aroused by being watched by you.
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I have a different opinion from the other respondents.
Swingers’ bars are, basically, places where men’s fantasies are brought to life. I don’t think anyone would outright force you, but in my experience, quite a few of them put men first.
They may claim to care about women’s feelings, but the atmosphere can vary greatly depending on the clientele, and there are times when women may feel uncomfortable saying no. That’s the conclusion I’ve reached from my limited experience.
I would suggest making it absolutely clear to your papa (a male supporter) that you’re only going to observe and will not participate. If you’re not comfortable with it, I believe it’s best to firmly decline.
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I imagine he’d only invite a woman he’s fairly close to, so it might be worth going.
Women from the club are easier to invite to places like that, so it’s fine to keep your response vague at first and go if you become interested later.
I’ve only ever gone to a swingers bar or couples’ café with women from the club I’d been seeing for a long time. However, both men and women had to show ID, so if you’re comfortable showing yours to someone other than the man you’re with, it might be worth going.
It’s perfectly fine to just have drinks at the bar, and simply enjoying the atmosphere might be a little exciting. I think you’ll get to experience a small change from your usual routine.
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If it’s just to watch, I’d like to go to a swingers’ bar too.
But if your papa wants to watch you being intimate with several other men, it’s better not to go. There will be plenty of men there.
Tell him clearly that you’ll go only if you’re just observing.
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It’s not a scary place. People whose particular tastes are catered to might enjoy it.
As long as you avoid oral, you can probably manage the risk of STIs. And unless you bring up the allowance, I think it’ll stay the same.
I went a few times about ten years ago and eventually got bored of it.
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I’ve been to play clubs with several women.
At a play club, you’re not required to engage with multiple people. However, it depends on what the male companion has in mind, so ask him directly.
I believe the risk of contracting an STI is fairly high, so personally, I’d prefer women to stick to observing only.
Basically, women have the right to choose in that kind of environment. But whether you have a frightening experience or enjoy yourself depends on you, the man you go with, the atmosphere at the club, and the other customers there.
I only invite women when they say they want to try it. Even women who initially said they only wanted to observe sometimes end up saying they’d like to participate, and we have fun.
They also often tell me they want to go again or try a different club.
I’ve only ever given them the same allowance as usual.
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