I’m the one who asked about negotiating the allowance just a little while ago.
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He sends me LINE messages several times a day saying things like, “I’m completely crazy about you,” “I love you,” and “I can’t wait to see you,” so he’s clearly in full romance mode, which makes it difficult to bring up the allowance.
(By the way, he’s married.)
I rarely receive offers, so he could become a valuable papa (a male supporter) for me. But I should still make the allowance clear from the beginning, right…?
I do want the money, but I don’t feel enough affection to stay involved for a low amount…
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
I do think it’s proper etiquette for the male member to offer an allowance.
However, if he doesn’t bring it up, you have no choice but to do it yourself. If you find it difficult to say, just play a role. Your character’s name is Suzu Aizawa. No, it’s not hard—the character only has one line:
“If you feel sorry for me, give me some money.”
Simple, right?
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If you’ve already made up your mind, just message your papa (a male supporter) on LINE right away.
I’ve had a papa tell me, “I like you, I really like you. I love you. You like me too, right?” Then, when I admitted I liked him even a little, he’d say, “Then we don’t need an allowance, right?”—basically deciding it for me.
If you haven’t received any offers and really want even 10,000 or 20,000 yen, then I suppose you could go along with it. But in my experience, people who constantly say they like you are often the ones who end up saying there won’t be any allowance.
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Whether or not to confirm the allowance in advance
Either way, there are risks involved.
However, if a papa makes you feel uneasy, I think confirming the allowance beforehand is essential—and I wouldn’t recommend meeting him. Based on your post, it also seems unlikely that the relationship would last long.
I think it’s worth taking the risk of not confirming the allowance in advance only when you feel there’s potential for a long-term relationship and that he seems trustworthy. Asking about the allowance beforehand can risk killing the possibility of a lasting relationship.
A papa who has plenty of financial leeway has no reason to date a woman who is overly concerned about the allowance, even if confirming it in advance is perfectly acceptable.
When two people are building a relationship based on trust, I don’t think there should be any need to discuss the allowance at all.
If a man genuinely wants to make a woman happy, he won’t change the allowance depending on what happens. Even if you don’t get along and never meet again, he won’t reduce it—you can simply part ways cleanly, without any hard feelings.
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You should always discuss the allowance before entering the hotel room.
Otherwise, they may say something like, “I love you, so we don’t need an allowance, right?”
I’ve even had someone joke, “I’m pretty cheap, you know—would 2 be okay?”
You probably have an amount you absolutely won’t compromise on, or a figure you feel is appropriate for that particular person. Be upfront and say, “I’d like the allowance to be that amount.”
Since the hotel reservation may need to be canceled, negotiate the terms early.
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I think things like confirming the allowance in advance depend on the person you’re dealing with. With some people, I think it’s fine to leave it up to them.
But in this case, objectively speaking, that papa is a creepy, dangerous guy. He’s absolutely someone whose allowance you should confirm beforehand.
It all depends on the person.
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