Tips
Feb 10, 2024 23:42
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He told me, “I’m looking forward to seeing you again.” I reached out because I wanted to set up our next date, but I haven’t heard back for about four days now…
I’ve never had a papa (a male supporter) suddenly cut contact without saying anything, so I’m feeling really down.
I should probably wait a little longer, and if I still don’t hear from him, assume it just wasn’t meant to be, right?
Thank you.
7 answers
🏅 パパ活歴7年目突入
彼氏/既婚/他パパ/セフレOK/全力応援
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
It’s quite common in dating clubs for either the man or the woman to suddenly stop responding.
If you don’t hear back, just move on and wait for your next offer.
🏅 ラッキーゴールドの探査技師
関西在住で多趣味です。
最近、筋トレにて、体重は減っていないのに、ウエストは減りまくりで、筋肉の増量と体脂肪の減量との両立を実現しております。
スタンダードクラス、ゴールドクラスで磨くと光りそうな方にオファーすることが多いです。
Age: 40s
👨 Male
Universe member
As things stand, all that’s happened is that you contacted him to arrange your next date and haven’t received a reply. He hasn’t actually told you that he doesn’t want to see you again.
This is a relationship involving money. If he says, “I could meet you, but only if there’s no transportation allowance,” I don’t think meeting him is really an option.
With that in mind, it’s possible that he simply can’t afford it right now and is unable to arrange another meeting, regardless of whether he liked you or not. Even if you think he should at least reply to your message, there are other possibilities: he may have been in an accident and be unconscious, become too ill to use his phone, or even passed away. If he uses LINE for both work and personal matters, messages can easily get buried and be forgotten.
From the perspective of a relationship between two people, it’s also possible that neither you nor he did anything wrong—you simply weren’t compatible.
If thinking that he cut things off without saying anything helps you move on, then I think it’s fine to interpret it that way. Personally, I’d think, “Maybe something came up and he can’t contact me right now, but he might get in touch again someday,” and leave it there for the time being.
There are countless ways to interpret the situation, so why not choose the one that makes you feel best?
赤井 智和(スタッフ)
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Other
Thank you for reaching out. I’m Akai from Universe Club, and I’ll answer your question as well.
I’m sorry to be so realistic, but I think it’s inevitable that communication sometimes gets cut off midway.
There could be various reasons, such as:
- Becoming unwell with COVID-19 or the flu
- Being involved in some kind of accident
- Meeting someone else and blocking you, among other possibilities
It might be okay to keep waiting, but I think the most sensible approach would be to set a deadline and, if you haven’t heard from them by then, start looking for a new connection.
A~Dまで一通りオファーの経験あり、多くても月1程度でLINEはスケジュール調整のみ、スマートに無理なく長期交際するスタイルです。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
Even if I don’t intend to see someone again, I’ll still say something like, “I’m looking forward to seeing you again,” because I don’t want to hurt their feelings.
That said, everyone has their own pace when it comes to replying.
Men who are efficient at work tend to respond quickly, but they may be different in their private lives.
In this case, if he replied quickly after your first and second meetings, I think there’s a good chance he’s decided to cut things off.
On the other hand, if he’s always been slow to reply, that may simply be his usual response pace in private matters.
I’m sure you’re feeling anxious, but why not wait patiently while also looking for someone else?
いっつ・みぃ
Male
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Age: 50s
👨 Male
Other
He said, “I’m looking forward to seeing you again,” so maybe this is just another unfortunate example of male thinking: “It’s fine to leave her waiting for a while.”
Some foolish men make women anxious by going silent for no particular reason.
I’ve made the same mistake in the past, but a lifeline message from a capable woman led to a long-term relationship.
Instead of simply waiting for a reply, why not reach out one more time and suggest some dates, saying, “Would any time between [date] and [date] work for you?”
If he still doesn’t respond, you can assume it wasn’t meant to be.
—It’s me
Age: 60s
👨 Male
Universe member
Unless you’ve met many times and built a relationship of trust, “I’m looking forward to seeing you again” without mentioning a specific date—especially on around the second date—is just a harmless, convenient line people use to keep things open while juggling other options, even when they have little intention of actually meeting again.
Thinking about it, I use it too, and women I’ve cut ties with have said it to me several times as well.
I think your understanding is correct.
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
It’s quite common for things to end after just a few meetings.
It’s also common for the other person to remain friendly when ending things. Isn’t that much better than being lectured or having parting shots thrown at you?
I’d say you simply weren’t meant to be.