I have a papa (a male supporter) I’ve met about ten times.
This content is machine-translated.
The other day, he messaged me asking when he could see me next, so I met him yesterday. We usually don’t stay together for very long, so I made a dentist appointment afterward. I figured I didn’t necessarily have to mention it, but I messaged him anyway: “I’m going to the dentist at 5:30, but we usually wrap things up around then, so that’s okay, right? lol”
He replied, “That’s fine, but it makes me sad.” Since that’s pretty typical of him, I just brushed it off（笑）
When we met yesterday, he asked what time we’d need to leave for me to make it to the dentist. I told him I’d make it if I left at 5:00, but around 3:30 he said, “Shall we get going soon?” I thought, “I said I’d make it if I left at 5:00—there’s still an hour and a half to go.”
Apparently, he had taken the day off work to see me, and it was too early for him to go straight home—his wife might get suspicious if he returned too early—so he said he might stop by a fishing tackle shop and grab some ramen on the way home.
Did he just not want to spend time with me? I’d like to understand what was going through his mind.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
The girl I recently started seeing had been staying over every time and cuddling up to me all night, so I thought things were going great. Then she impulse-bought a kitten at a pet shop and said, “It’ll be difficult to stay over because I have to feed the cat.”
The saddest part is that I lost to a cat, lol. That papa is probably sad that he lost to the dentist, too. At least the girl managed to keep staying over by bringing the cat along in a carrier.
If I were her, I’d reply, “I really hate the dentist. Ugh, I don’t want to go. I’d much rather stay by your side, but I have to go…” Maybe she cheerfully told him, “I’m off to the dentist♡” though?
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
From a man’s perspective, I think your interpretation is spot-on, Marika.
He probably felt that, despite taking time off work for something he considered important, you scheduled an appointment at the dentist afterward—something you could have gone to anytime. That likely made him think, “Oh, I’m not really that important to her,” and he became a little sulky, which is probably why he ended things at 3:30 p.m.
I understand how you feel. From the woman’s perspective, you might think, “But we usually finish around that time anyway.” However, from the man’s point of view, that kind of behavior can make him feel like he’s being taken lightly.
If things continue like this, a breakup may be near, so if you truly don’t want to lose him, I think you should take steps to address the situation.
You should probably apologize for making other plans, tell him how important he is to you, and explain that you really had to go to the dentist that day. Even if he wasn’t actually angry, I don’t think there’s anything to lose by doing all this. I hope this helps.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m not sure, but if lunch starts at noon and you part ways at 5:30 p.m., that seems more than long enough.
Having lunch from noon, then having an adult relationship, and leaving around 3:30 p.m. seems pretty normal, doesn’t it?
You’d have to ask the papa himself to know whether he was satisfied with the adult relationship and wanted some alone time afterward, whether he was simply tired of it and wanted to go eat ramen by himself, or whether he wasn’t satisfied and decided to leave.
If he invites you out again, I’d say there’s still some interest, though?
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I used to be a female member.
When he says he’s “sad,” doesn’t that mean he really wants to spend more time with you and had hoped you’d keep your schedule open for him? He even takes time off work to see you. That’s incredibly valuable time.
You should be enthusiastic enough to say, “I’m keeping that day completely free for my papa!” I’m sure he’d be happy—and would treat you well in return.
Thinking, “It’s always been this way, so it’ll be fine,” is just convenient for you. Rather than taking each little thing lightly, you need to be considerate of your papa’s feelings—if you want the arrangement to continue, that is.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Dental appointments are the easiest to reschedule, and if she already has another commitment around 5:30 p.m. or otherwise early in the evening, it really kills my desire to meet her. In fact, I wouldn’t continue seeing someone like that—and I’ve never encountered a girl who does that.
If it’s a dentist appointment, reschedule it or let me know well in advance. Having plans later that night is fine, but make it at least 7 p.m., or 6 p.m. at the earliest.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Thank you for your question. I’ll offer my perspective as well.
Of course, only he knows how he really felt, but my guess is that he had been planning to go out for dinner with you that evening, though he hadn’t mentioned it to you—just like with the dentist appointment, he probably assumed it would be fine.
Then, once he found out you had a dentist appointment, he figured that 5 p.m. wasn’t really dinner time anyway, so you ended things there.
So I don’t think you need to worry about it. But if you’re concerned, why not ask when you can see him next?
You could say something like, “I’ll make sure not to schedule anything else next time,” which might help.
Also, when making plans, I think it’s better to mention them when you set the meeting, rather than on the day itself.
I suppose there’s fault on both sides, but I don’t think what bothered him was that you had other plans. It was probably that you had made plans without him knowing.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
She probably didn’t like the fact that you made plans afterward, even though you “always wrap things up around that time.”
She must have felt like she wasn’t being prioritized.
I can understand your papa’s feelings to some extent, but he sounds like a pain.
Still, I somehow have a feeling this may be the end.
If you don’t want things to end, you should probably try to smooth things over somehow—even though it might already be too late.
Marika
Actually, looking back at it, the biggest problem is that you brushed her off when she said she was sad (and the “lol” makes it sound like you were mocking her). You should have picked up on that and said something like, “It’s okay, I’ll reschedule the dentist. I’m sorry,” or you won’t be able to keep a good papa around. If you really wanted to go to the dentist, you could at least have acted like you were about to cry and said, “It hurts so badly, and I finally managed to get an appointment… Is it okay if I go?”
Good luck.
One more addition:
“It hurt so badly, but I finally managed to get an appointment… But it’s okay—I just took some painkillers. I’ll have them move it to another day, okay? *teary eyes*”
Would that be overdoing it?
Sorry for getting carried away.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
