When I was into non-penetrative adult entertainment and seeing around 100 women a year, I caught an STI twice over the course of about five years.
I think it was caused by what’s known as bare sumata.
I thought the first time was just bad luck, but after the second time, I’d learned my lesson and always opted for condom-protected oral and sumata.
Since I started being strict about using condoms, I haven’t caught an STI once.
I only visited major establishments, where regular health checks for the women were mandatory, but that’s still how things can go.
Even if someone tests negative, that only reflects the moment of the test. They could be in the incubation period, or they could catch something from someone else before their next test.
It’s understandable that men who have never had an STI can be influenced by the special appeal of going unprotected and develop the bias that they’ll be fine.
By contrast, it’s perfectly natural for women to be afraid of STIs.
There simply aren’t many advantages to going unprotected.
I recommend taking precautions when dating: only see men who properly use condoms, and avoid men who have an excessive number of concurrent partners.
That said, it’s still important to understand that these measures can’t guarantee you’ll never catch anything.
Yesterday, I partly answered thinking it would be fine if things got a little heated, but I’m sorry if I ended up making you anxious in a different way. To answer seriously, I think it simply comes down to probability. There are five things you should do to reduce the odds.
First, don’t increase the number of people you see. If you register with a dating club, receive a lot of offers, and have adult relationships with all kinds of people, naturally the odds go up. Keeping the number of partners down is the most important thing. Rather than endlessly spinning the dating roulette looking for a generous papa (well-paying supporter), if you meet someone decent, try to maintain a long-term arrangement even if the terms are only average. I think it’s important to be prepared to quit if you don’t meet anyone suitable after six months. I’m not criticizing women who continue, but the fact is that the risks increase.
Second, assess the other person carefully. Even if you only see a limited number of people, the odds go up if the man is seeing multiple women and sleeping around. Evaluate, as much as possible, what kind of person he is and what his current situation is. The genders are reversed, but in my case, I don’t make offers to women with extensive experience. Most of the women I do make offers to also leave the club soon afterward. I’m convinced this choice has lowered the odds for me. It’s difficult for women to assess men, but making the effort to do so is still important.
Third, get tested. Don’t assume that one negative result means you’re permanently in the clear. Especially during periods when offers continue and your partners change, circumstances can change from day to day, so it’s important to get tested and keep track of your status. As a rough guideline, professionals such as adult video actresses often get tested once a month, with the agency covering the cost, so monthly testing seems like a reasonable benchmark.
Fourth, use protection. There’s no doubt it dramatically lowers the risk of infection. Even if your partner wants to take things further, you should hold off until you’ve met several times—at least around five, and at least once every week or two—and had a chance to assess him. Of course, if you’re scared, you absolutely don’t need to force yourself.
Finally, keep oral sex to a moderate level as well. The point is that the penis is still coming into contact with mucous membranes. If you can avoid it naturally, that’s fine; and if you do it, act inexperienced and keep it brief. One woman I knew, when she did go all the way, focused more on using her hands and then used plenty of saliva during oral sex—enough to leave a puddle on the sheets—making it look erotic while actually washing things away with saliva. Just something to keep in mind.
If you take proper precautions, the odds aren’t particularly high. Based on what I know, even for people involved in this kind of activity, I’d guess the risk is about the same as being in a traffic accident—around 0.2%, or one in 500 people.
Taro
> Once you join a dating club and an offer is accepted, is it basically inevitable that you’ll get an STI at least once?
I assume that dating clubs generally have fairly reputable people registered, so I think they’re a different story from picking up strangers or using apps where people’s identities aren’t clear.
That said, I don’t think infections are that easy to catch, but the risk definitely isn’t zero, so it’s best to take precautions.
Personally, I’ve made offers to more than 100 people and had sexual relations around 500 times, but so far I’ve never contracted an STI.
That doesn’t mean you won’t, but I also don’t think “eventually getting an STI is just something you have to accept.”
There’s definitely some risk involved, so think about how you want to deal with that risk.
