Why do women often put in so little effort in allowance-based relationships? This seems especially common among women in the Black and Platinum tiers.

That’s because you’re the one asking the question. You’re simply not suited to using a club, so it’s not going to stop feeling boring for you. Right now, a “Black”-rank woman I’ve been seeing for several years is sleeping peacefully beside me. We decided that afternoon to take an impromptu overnight trip, spent the whole day having fun, and stayed at a hotel. But staying at a hotel didn’t mean we had to be intimate—we wanted to enjoy being together, especially since intimacy is something we can have anytime. I focused instead on things she would enjoy. We didn’t have our usual intimate atmosphere late into the night, since I was planning to leave that up to the flow of things. But as we naturally became more excited through touching each other before bed, we ended up becoming intimate. Since it came after a full day of fun, it was especially satisfying. She fell soundly asleep, saying things like “That was amazing,” “I had fun,” and “Thank you,” along with the fatigue from the day. Whether the allowance is 20,000 or 50,000 yen, even with a Black-ranked woman, once you’ve been seeing each other for several years, about ten hours can pass in the blink of an eye after meeting. And when you genuinely like someone that much and the two of you are compatible, you won’t feel like she’s refusing things or phoning it in, and you won’t really have anything to demand from her. In your case, I think you’re the one who’s making no effort at all. In compensated dating, you make the other person happy and enjoy seeing them have a good time, and because that makes you happy, you give them an allowance. If you expect something in return for the allowance, it will be nothing but boring for you forever. Women don’t come with classes or price tags. Popular Black- and Platinum-ranked women receive around 30 offers in their first month, and those offers don’t stop even a year later. Unless you’re the one they choose, you’re not going to have any fun. At the same time, there are quite a lot of outrageous men like you, so an ordinary man is actually quite likely to be viewed favorably. There are plenty of benefits to it as well.

I think the opening was pretty good as a bait question, but I don’t understand what “doesn’t go to a hotel every time” in the second paragraph is supposed to mean. Is she some kind of pervert who wants to do it outdoors or in public restrooms? Or does it mean she doesn’t have sex? If it’s the latter, how is she getting her allowance in the first place? If she’s demanding the full amount without having sex, shouldn’t that be the point being criticized? Or is she being paid the full amount as usual but complaining that he’s cutting corners and acting all pouty?? I’m also having trouble understanding the later line, “and yet she doesn’t want to go on trips.” “She doesn’t want to have sex, but she wants to go shopping” would make sense, but how does “doesn’t go to a hotel” lead to “and yet doesn’t want to travel”...? If this is some kind of factional dispute among perverted train enthusiasts who want to have sex on the last train bound for Kagohara instead of going to a hotel, but refuse to take an overnight train trip, I’m afraid I won’t be much help. Assuming this is about women struggling with time limits or having too many no-go requests, I think it’s more an issue of choosing the right women than a problem with the women themselves. Most women simply won’t force themselves to meet men they dislike. The ones who do are treating it as a business transaction, and because the client is a hassle, they try to reduce the damage by limiting the time and so on. Even in the Black or Platinum tiers, if you tend to choose high-spec, vintage options—women who have been registered for several years—you’re probably more likely to end up with that type. Avoid those women, and the problems you mentioned should decrease. You may then start worrying that things don’t last long, but that means you’ve gotten closer to the root of the problem, so let’s call that a win（笑） Taro

The premise of your question is misguided. In allowance-based relationships, it’s not true that women often “slack off.” What do you even mean by “slack off”? I don’t understand. If you mean things like, “She should keep giving me oral for two hours straight,” or, “I’m paying her, so why did she stop halfway through?” then you’re fundamentally mistaken. Please don’t treat women like slaves. If this is really about whether someone puts in enough effort, you’d be better off going to a sex-work establishment. And if you still feel that many of them are slacking off, you can complain to the manager. Although it is a job at those establishments, I imagine even there, being treated that way would make someone think, “I’m not a machine.” First of all, it sounds like a sex-work establishment is what best suits what you’re looking for. A dating club is more about simulated romance. There’s an allowance, but beyond that, it’s a place to enjoy spending time with another person. So normally, it isn’t about whether someone is slacking off or not. It’s about whether you’re compatible and whether you enjoy being together. Perhaps your wording was simply poor, but even so, your true intentions seem to be showing through. If you write things like this, it seems entirely possible that women would only go out with you because they need the money. Please think more about how to make things work and how to make the experience enjoyable. That said, if you feel dating clubs aren’t right for you, you’d probably have more fun pursuing something that suits you better. > For example, she doesn’t go to a hotel every time, That’s probably because something unpleasant happens when she goes to a hotel. The problem may lie in what you’re doing inside the hotel. If you think going to a hotel means you can freely control her, you’re seriously mistaken. There seems to be an issue somewhere, so you should fix that first. > Yet she doesn’t want to go on trips, There are probably only a few people she would want to travel with. If you want her to go on a trip, you should act in a way that makes her like you more. If she likes you, then aside from scheduling issues, she’ll probably be happy to go. > She has a lot of things she won’t do during sex. That’s because she doesn’t like you. Try harder. It’s also possible that your allowance is too low. > We part ways after only two to four hours. Wouldn’t “a short meeting” mean about an hour? Two to four hours seems perfectly normal. If you want to keep her with you for a long time, you should properly increase the allowance. In your case, paying by the hour might be appropriate. You probably feel hurt when she stays longer because you think the same allowance should be enough. If you set it at ¥25,000 an hour, then keeping her for eight hours would cost ¥200,000. At that point, you might decide that four hours is plenty. But I suppose this is the classic rule that the stingiest people are the ones who want to keep someone around the longest—which is probably why you don’t want to pay that much.

Without giving even a second’s thought to their own shortcomings, they say things like, “The woman isn’t putting in enough effort,” or “It isn’t appropriate to have women like this enrolled in a high-level class”… I can’t help but feel that’s a rather tragic way of thinking. Even though you’re giving the other person an allowance, they’re still human. And since this isn’t a brothel, a relationship club isn’t entirely a job, either. The attitude of “I’m paying a lot, so don’t turn me down” comes across as emotionally impoverished. In conclusion, I think you should quit using relationship clubs. I strongly recommend trying a high-end soapland instead.

Your lack of appeal comes through in your writing, doesn’t it? This isn’t the sex industry, so no one is going to train or coach the women for you. You need to guide her in the way you want and bring out her desire to meet you and spend time with you. **She’s cutting corners** → I imagine your allowance is low, she doesn’t find you appealing, you’re low on her list of priorities, and you’re at a level where it wouldn’t be a problem if things ended quickly. **She doesn’t go to a hotel every time** → She must really dislike it. Unless you seriously analyze why she doesn’t want to go, I feel like this pattern of her continuing to refuse the hotel will remain. **She won’t go on trips with you** → Spending a long time with someone you dislike is painful. Isn’t it because you’re asking her to travel on the usual allowance without offering compensation that matches that discomfort? In the first place, the club says dates should be no longer than four hours. If you want to spend more time together, you either need to make her want to stay with you because of your appeal, or, if you can’t do that, offer an allowance she feels is fair compensation for the discomfort. If she’s clearly trying to shorten every date, I think you should simply part ways. You can’t easily change someone else, but you can change yourself starting this very moment. Women in the Platinum and Black tiers are more likely to have met high-level papas, and those men are superior in terms of both money and appeal. You need to work hard so you don’t lose out to them. I’m sure you’re being compared, too.

I didn’t realize that could happen. I personally don’t go to a hotel every time—it’s my own choice, though. Maybe you could try increasing the allowance?

Most women don’t fall for older men that easily. That’s because, compared with younger guys, the average older man tends to lack a sense of cleanliness, have stronger body odor and bad breath, and become more stubborn—not just in appearance, but personality-wise as well. I can’t say whether the person asking the question is like that, but most women would say, “Even if you paid me, absolutely not!” when it comes to dating a man like that. If he’s a handsome, charismatic older man—someone who’s been attractive and popular with women since he was young, and is confident and comfortable around women—and offers an allowance, maybe he’d just barely have a chance. But realistically, it’s still a tough sell. But on the other hand, isn’t it scary when a woman flatters any older man regardless of his looks or personality? Like she’ll go with anyone as long as he pays. Instead of complaining, start by improving your appearance and communication skills. That should increase your chances of making it into the “handsome older man” category and dating women.

Popular Black- and Platinum-tier women have so many men competing for them that it might actually be easier if they cut corners and lost a few of them. Let’s look for some wonderful Gold-tier women instead.

If he’s a papa you really like, I don’t think that would happen. Since your allowance is fairly generous, I get the impression that you’re in a situation where he hasn’t cut you off, at least. If he’s a man you’d want to see even without an allowance—and he’s giving you one too—he wouldn’t be so half-hearted. Marika

I think she simply doesn’t like being with you. Personally, I go to a hotel every time and have fairly intense sex. I’ve even been asked to take my partner on trips, and no one has ever wanted to leave after just two hours. I’ve also been invited to have sex outdoors, so “not going to a hotel every time” clearly isn’t what this is about, right? Haha. Instead of complaining here, I think you should consider what you can do to make women more satisfied.