I’d like to ask whether the woman I’m currently seeing (27) might be emotionally unstable.
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We used to meet every week, but we couldn’t see each other last week because she was busy with work.
I met her yesterday for the first time in two weeks, and she had what looked like a scrape or bruise on her face. She also seemed a little down.
When I asked about the injury, she initially said she had fallen, but as she gradually opened up to me, she told me what had really happened:
- Her father became violent and injured her when she got into an argument with him while visiting her family home
- Her boyfriend broke up with her
- Her best friend from high school died by suicide at the end of January
That’s what she told me.
Regarding her friend’s suicide, she said, “Of course I’m sad. But I don’t think I want to live a long life either. I know I shouldn’t say this, but I’m a little envious that she was able to end her life while she was still young and beautiful in her twenties.”
She doesn’t self-harm or anything like that, and normally she’s a gentle, easygoing person.
But can someone become the type to fall into a dark emotional state after something triggers them, like this? To be honest, I’m not good with emotionally unstable women. I want us to enjoy our time together when we meet, so I’m not comfortable being around someone who’s always gloomy.
I accidentally posted this earlier with a typo. Please delete the previous post.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂50s👑Universe male member
If those sad things happened one after another—
well, even just one of them would be enough to make anyone feel down, wouldn’t it?
If you call the questioner “mentally unstable” for that, then even with an allowance involved, you’re not capable of dating women.
—Akari
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Anyone would start feeling down if they had to go through one painful thing after another.
I don’t think that makes her “mentally unstable” or anything. If it were me, I’d want my papa to comfort me and make me feel safe. That’s when a papa really gets to show what he’s made of.
If you’re looking for a transactional relationship where you only share the fun times, then I think you have no choice but to tell her that.
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I’m not comfortable even being friends or coworkers with someone who has a dark side.
That kind of darkness can rub off on you very easily, so I think it’s best to cut ties early. You wouldn’t want them to become a vengeful spirit haunting you, right?
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If your father were kind and provided you with everything you needed, you wouldn’t need papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) to receive an allowance.
I think it’s enough to understand that papa-katsu can exist out of that kind of necessity.
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If it were me, I’d fully support her until she got back on her feet. Helping a good woman become independent again is a contribution to society.
There are parents like that who are abusive. You could pay her security deposit and help her move out, or invite her to stay at your place—it could be fun.
It’s a chance to become extremely close and earn her trust.
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That doesn’t make her mentally unstable. She’s just a typical papa-katsu girl. Most papa-katsu women in their twenties carry some kind of darkness, to one degree or another.
She usually works hard to act cheerful and entertain you, but she must have been feeling a little down, and her guard slipped. It wasn’t that she opened her heart to you—she was simply emotionally vulnerable.
Surely you’re not going to cut her off over something like that, are you? Mac-san won’t forgive you if you do. You’d be unworthy of being called a papa-katsu papa. You should be able to accept that much of her negativity.
Just pretend you never heard it, forget about it, and continue seeing her as before. That’s the world she knows and has lived in, after all.
Personally, I dig deeper and empathize with them, and in return, I recharge myself with something like the strength to live that I get from the girls. But apparently, most men aren’t like that. Like the person asking this question, they get shocked, make a huge fuss, and start calling her “mentally unstable.”
It’s not really my place to say this, but what kind of sheltered life have you lived?
As I also mentioned in my answer to the earlier woman in her forties, you’re better off not opening up to papa-katsu men or venting to them. Even if they look like older men with plenty of life experience, many papas have simply been lucky and have never known real hardship.
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If, within the space of two weeks, you’re beaten by your parents, dumped by your boyfriend, and a friend dies by suicide, of course you’ll feel depressed—it has nothing to do with being “mentally unstable.”
Seeing all that and calling her mentally unstable, or saying you don’t like mentally unstable women… You’ve lived for over 50 years. Are you really okay in the head?
Honestly, I question you as a person.
Whether someone develops a tendency to become emotionally troubled depends on the individual and the circumstances. You’d probably be better off asking a fortune-teller.
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