If a woman you like asked you to increase her monthly allowance—or, if that wasn’t possible, to reduce how often you meet and how frequently she contacts you—what would you do?

I personally wouldn’t continue seeing a woman who thought that way. If your partner shares that mindset, she’d probably be willing to accept it. After all, men are choosing to date women like you.

The answer lies between the two of you—it’s an issue for the people involved. She’s being pretty demanding, so it’s fine to end things. If she agrees to increase the allowance, consider it a lucky break. She probably has another generous (well-paying) papa (a male supporter), and she won’t be satisfied with you unless you raise her allowance. If it were me, I’d end things and look for someone else.

With that wording, it comes across as though the questioner’s position is 100% YES or NO, leaving no room for discussion. For example, if all you said was, “I’d like you to increase my monthly allowance,” he might think you’re having financial difficulties and ask why. Depending on the reason, he might even consider increasing it. That said, there is a way to phrase things. I think it’s important to choose your words carefully, such as starting with, “My financial situation has become difficult,” or, “I’m truly sorry to ask this…” However, many men have already decided on a fixed amount, so you should assume that increasing it partway through may not be possible. Some men may even decide to stop seeing you as soon as they hear that request. With arrangements like this, the beginning is crucial. The key is to agree on an amount you’re comfortable with from the start, so you won’t need to bring it up later. > If he says that, if you can’t increase it, he wants you to reduce how often you meet and how frequently you contact him. That’s an even more difficult thing to say. Normally, instead of asking to increase the monthly allowance because the money isn’t enough, I think it would be better to add something like, “I’d actually like to see you more often.” I’m guessing that, compared with the monthly allowance, they’re meeting quite often, and she’s starting to feel that she doesn’t want to continue when it works out to only about 20,000 yen per meeting. If that’s the case, I think it would be better to end things and look for another papa (a male supporter) rather than negotiate. If you’re willing to negotiate knowing that it might end the relationship anyway, then I think it’s fine to try. From now on, I recommend clearly agreeing on everything from the very beginning.

My arrangement is a completely transactional mistress-type relationship, so my situation is a little different from what this question is about. Still, the women I see have never asked to increase their allowance or change how often we meet. They do ask for extras from time to time, and I’ve never refused, so I wondered whether that counted as asking for an increase. But taking everything into consideration, I don’t think that’s really the case. I’ve also told them that I would never be the one to end things, but none of them has ever said, “Let’s call it quits,” either（笑） Thanks to that, we’ve been drifting along for five years. We’re even closer now than when we first started seeing each other, and there’s no end in sight（笑）

I’ll call it quits. My approach to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is to support one woman as much as I can, with the intention of having a genuine romantic relationship—not pretending to be in love. (Which is why there are very few women I can continue seeing long-term… haha.) If a woman says something like what the questioner described, it makes it clear that she was only seeing you because the terms worked for her—not because she genuinely had feelings for or loved you.

Kōsaka from the staff team here as well. If I were in your position, I think I’d look for someone else. I understand getting caught up in someone you really like, but from your question, it seems you want to enjoy a “pseudo-romantic” experience, while the person you like is clearly looking for a transactional relationship. Since your expectations don’t seem to match, I don’t think it would last long going forward… (；・∀・)

I find that kind of thing a hassle, so I prefer pay-per-meeting arrangements rather than monthly arrangements. If you’re asking me to increase the allowance for each meeting, explain what benefit I’d get from doing so, and then I’ll consider it. That said, I probably wouldn’t be inclined to agree to an allowance increase. And if a woman feels she doesn’t want to continue seeing me unless I increase the allowance, I wouldn’t want to continue the relationship either, so I’d probably end things.