Thank you for your time. I recently made two offers, only to be stood up at the last minute on both women’s first dates with me.
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I’m not angry, but both cancellations came just a few hours before the date—and in the second case, after I had already arrived at the meeting place—so I couldn’t switch plans and have dinner with a friend or acquaintance. I ended up eating alone.
Both restaurants had private rooms, which made it especially depressing.
Last-minute cancellations are tough because it can be difficult to cancel the reservation, and doing so repeatedly can damage your reputation with the restaurant.
That’s my venting over, but for those of you with more experience, how often do your first dates get canceled at the last minute?
I only recently registered, so if this is something that happens frequently, I’m thinking it may be risky to book higher-end restaurants.
I can’t tell whether I was simply unlucky or whether this is just the reality of dating clubs. Do you have any measures in place to prepare for last-minute cancellations?
Also, if a woman cancels at the last minute, do you usually reschedule with her?
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I wrote about this in one of my earlier columns.
I know exactly how you feel. I’ve eaten alone in a private room before, too.
A certain number of women will cancel at the last minute. In the beginning, you can avoid some of that by making offers to women with higher ratings.
If she lets me know in advance that she can’t make it that day, I’ll reschedule. But if she suddenly doesn’t show up on the day, I won’t reschedule with her.
Since many of these women are young, there are always some who take it lightly—almost as if they just came to the “interview” with a friend. Let’s work on developing the eye to tell them apart（笑）
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Maybe you were offered a date with a woman who’s really hard to arrange?
Or was it an offer on an extremely cold day recently?
Either way, I think last-minute cancellations are wrong, so I’ve never done it—and it’s never happened to me either.
If you do get stood up at the last minute, call the staff and ask them to find you any woman who can come that day.
For the other details, just message the staff on LINE and ask them.
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I’ve never had a first-date cancellation when the date was arranged through a matchmaking service.
It happened once with a letter date, but I asked the restaurant to wait a little and called another woman instead.
I was lucky that time.
Depending on the woman’s profession—such as being a flight attendant—you may need to allow for last-minute cancellations to some extent.
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Two in a row… That’s rough. Last-minute cancellations really hurt.
In the past, you could tell the staff, “I have a meal reservation that can’t be canceled anymore. Would anyone like to come eat with me?” Then a staff member would come to the meeting place and join you for the meal.
I’m not sure whether they still do that these days.
Of course, I wouldn’t recommend it if you don’t feel there’s much point in having dinner with a staff member. They might also tell you they’re too busy to come now, so it’s hard to say. But if you communicate with the staff and make a good impression, they may contact you first when an appealing woman comes in to register.
> If you’re stood up, do you reschedule with that woman?
If the cancellation is earlier in the day, say that morning, they’ll more often reschedule. But if it’s a last-minute cancellation, my impression is that they usually don’t offer that woman another date.
> Was it just a case of bad luck?
Two in a row is extremely rare, so it sounds like you were exceptionally unlucky.
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Out of around 100 offers, I’ve had zero last-minute cancellations, one request to postpone because she was in an accident the day before, and one late arrival due to overtime.
I’ve never experienced a last-minute cancellation, so I haven’t taken any precautions.
The woman who asked to postpone because of the accident wasn’t someone I’d been particularly eager to meet, so I simply canceled.
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