Haven’t hotels gotten expensive lately?

I think the bigger issue is that it’s become difficult to book hotels. It was especially hard to find one on Saturdays in December. Personally, I’m also having trouble because the hotel I usually use no longer offers day-use rooms. They’ve probably stopped because the rooms are fully booked and they need to allow time for cleaning, though… Lately, I sometimes tell my companion that APA Hotel is about the only place still offering day use, and we go to a nice love hotel instead. As for the cost, though, hotels use dynamic pricing, so isn’t it only natural for prices to go up when demand is high? If you’re staying at a five-star hotel, you really shouldn’t be worrying about the room rate.

Travel support is currently suspended, but Osaka plans to launch its own “Osaka Stay” campaign starting January 10. It seems some hotels may set their base rates a little higher when this campaign is used. Prices are naturally higher during holiday periods and around New Year’s. You can save a little by using points and paying in advance through sites like Jalan or Trivago. Oh, and there’s a catch: if you just show up without making a reservation, it’ll cost more. Be sure to book in advance.

They’re expensive, aren’t they? I was shocked by hotel prices when I tried to plan a short overnight trip with a friend. If you’ve always stayed at luxury hotels and suddenly switch to a love hotel, your female companion might be surprised or even disappointed. I think it’s best to explain the situation beforehand and make sure she understands.

Maybe you’re a papa who started after the pandemic began. As someone who’s been in the game for over five years, I expected prices to dip during those two years and then return once COVID settled down, so this is within what I anticipated. Things were definitely cheaper during the pandemic, so I was lucky to have some good experiences. As for what to do, dropping straight down to love hotels might make women dislike you, so why not ease into it gradually? For example, start with a clean business hotel with a spacious room, then move on to a stylish, nicely decorated love hotel, and eventually a regular love hotel. Gradually working your way down might be the best approach.

Isn’t it just that prices seemed unusually low over the past two or three years because of COVID? My papa (a male supporter) often says that prices in Japan are far too low, making it impossible to turn a profit and raise employees’ wages. I’d honestly be uncomfortable going from a luxury hotel to a love hotel. It would be understandable if she thought you were the kind of person who stops making an effort once you’ve “caught the fish.” I think the best approach would be to explain the reason honestly and, for example, offer to increase the allowance to make up for using a love hotel so she can feel comfortable with it. Marika

You’re focusing on the wrong thing to begin with. You need to pay more attention to other aspects. As for whether it’s luxurious… the right standard is simply whether you personally want to use the place—whether the woman feels comfortable there after she leaves, whether it’s comfortable, or whether it’s a relaxing place to get work done. There’s no woman or man who genuinely dislikes luxury. At a dating club, the man’s goal is an adult relationship, while the woman’s goal is to receive money. It’s really that simple. As long as the allowance is satisfactory and the arrangement is low-stress, the man’s clothes, shoes, and choice of hotel don’t really matter. If a woman insists on a luxury hotel, then since a papa’s role is to fulfill the woman’s wishes, it may be necessary to choose a luxury hotel for the first meeting. But from the second time onward, once you’ve built trust, a love hotel or anywhere else should be fine. If the balance between the allowance and the expenses isn’t right, she’ll probably think, “If you’re spending tens of thousands of yen on a hotel like that, you could just increase my allowance.” And if you always use luxury hotels and restaurants, she may think, “Does he not know any good places that aren’t so fancy?” Many women at dating clubs are actually tired of nothing but “expensive food and luxury hotels.” The worst thing would be for her to feel, “He thinks he can do anything as long as he pays.” In your case, since the arrangement is already ongoing, you could give her the usual amount including the hotel cost, tell her, “You can keep the change as part of your allowance,” and let her choose the hotel. Some women will keep the costs to an absolute minimum—some might even choose the cheapest room at a love hotel, one that a man might feel embarrassed to choose himself. Others may choose a reasonably nice hotel. This also lets you see what she prioritizes. From a man’s perspective, being able to give the woman more money is better, so an inexpensive hotel is more than welcome. With a new woman, she’ll probably be happier if the money saved on the hotel goes toward her allowance, clothes, cosmetics, or electronics. Most importantly, instead of worrying about luxury, you should put more thought and effort into things like increasing how often you meet, making time for her, and finding ways to give her more.

Many women may say, “I don’t mind,” but honestly, they do. Especially if you’ve always taken them to nice hotels before. Whether she thinks, “He’s treating me carelessly now,” or “Hotels have gotten more expensive,” probably depends on the relationship she has with her papa. If you really want to continue seeing her and are willing to make the effort, I suppose the only option would be to reduce how often you meet. I wouldn’t really want fewer meetings or a lower hotel grade either, but if there’s a reason, why not explain it to her? My own papa would never do something like that, but if he ever brought it up, I’d probably ask him to take me to a love hotel just once.

They really are expensive, aren’t they? I was surprised to find that even APA Hotel–class places can sometimes cost over ¥20,000. I think choosing a hotel also comes down to whether you and your partner share similar values. There seem to be four possible patterns: A. Both the man and the woman prefer luxury hotels. B. The man doesn’t care about luxury, but the woman does. C. The man cares about luxury, but the woman doesn’t. D. Neither of them insists on a luxury hotel. Based on my experiences meeting various women, very few of them had the attitude that “a luxury hotel is the only option.” In other words, situations like B were extremely rare. When you think about it, the man is paying for the hotel and also giving her an allowance, so in general, there’s less reason for the woman to care about the hotel’s class. I think C—where the man is overly attached to staying at a luxury hotel—is actually fairly common. Some men seem to think things like: “If I downgrade the hotel, I’ll seem less financially appealing and she’ll like me less.” Or: “Acting like I can’t afford much would hurt my pride.” If your relationship with your partner is like C, I think things may actually become more stable if you stop trying so hard and move toward D.

As Mac said, they were probably trying to live beyond their means. I haven’t changed hotels, and I imagine most other people haven’t either. Women’s opinions will vary, but I think many would probably see it as, “He was really overextending himself.” If the rising hotel costs are bothering you, why not try meeting a little less often?

It’s the same with designer brands—you get into these situations by trying to live beyond your means. Take this as an opportunity to stick to dates that are within your means, or even a little below them. If a woman gets upset about that, cut her loose.