Some papas give Christmas presents, while others don’t. Do the ones who don’t give anything simply need you to ask first? Or are they taking me lightly or undervaluing me?
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The papas I’ve met recently have all been incredibly generous, giving me bags, watches, accessories, and other wonderful gifts, which I really appreciate. But the papa I met yesterday gave me nothing. I gave him a present, but he didn’t seem to have any intention of giving me one in return. If he doesn’t give me anything next time we meet, I’m thinking of ending things with him. Still, I’m disappointed that I apparently didn’t make a good enough impression on him.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Merry Christmas!!
I think there are two types of people: those who give presents (including those who only do so because they were asked), and those who never give presents—even when asked.
Even people who don’t give Christmas presents or gifts for special occasions might suddenly hand you something when you least expect it. Everyone’s different.
I don’t think it’s your fault, or that they don’t think highly of you. It sounds like you’re receiving presents from your other papas, so isn’t that enough? Rather than expecting to get presents from everyone, I think it’s easier on your feelings to just consider yourself lucky whenever you receive one.
I’d never think, “If you don’t give me a Christmas present, we’re done!” This year, though he isn’t one of my papas, I somehow got a surprise present from my ex-boyfriend, and I was absolutely thrilled!
Getting a present is always wonderful. It’s nice to receive one, of course, but because I wasn’t expecting it, it made me even happier. I think the important thing is not to assume that receiving presents is a given.
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You may be quick to cut off a papa (a male supporter) just because he doesn’t give you gifts, but you’re also someone he could easily cut off.
I think it’s best to keep that in mind when pursuing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
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If you do papa-katsu as though receiving money is a given, some papas may see you as greedy or lacking charm.
Since it was Christmas, did you also provide something worth several times the allowance?
Papas who give gifts will do so regardless of the occasion, but aren’t they extremely rare?
Akari
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Based on my limited experience, most papas either don’t give gifts or, if they do, they’re not particularly expensive.
I get the impression that only about one in 20 papas gives high-end luxury-brand gifts. Usually, their allowance is all they can manage.
So I think papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is easier and more stress-free if you don’t expect too much.
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There are different ways of looking at gifts.
Some papas believe that giving a gift means pressuring the other person to give them one in return…
From that perspective, not giving gifts can be seen as a form of kindness.
But let’s consider the opposite case…
Take obligatory chocolate on Valentine’s Day, for example. If you give someone obligatory chocolate, you’re pressuring them to return the favor on White Day, so “not giving obligatory chocolate” can also be seen as a form of kindness.
However, some men are happy to receive even obligatory chocolate, and may feel hurt if they don’t get any.
That’s what makes it so difficult.
> I gave him something, but he didn’t seem like he was planning to give me a present.
I’m afraid this papa doesn’t pass the test.
If someone gives you something, I think returning the favor is simply the considerate thing to do.
> If he doesn’t give me anything the next time we meet, I’m thinking of cutting him off.
Rather than waiting until then to decide, I think it’s perfectly fine to cut him off as soon as he gives you nothing.
> I’m disappointed that I apparently didn’t make a good impression on my papa.
That’s completely understandable.
Even though you didn’t know whether your papa would give you a present, you gave him one anyway. That makes you a kind and thoughtful person.
Not every papa is like that, so don’t look back at someone whose values don’t match yours. Keep moving forward!
It’s Me
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No matter what I’m asked to do or how much pressure I get, I don’t give presents. It’s not that I look down on anyone or don’t value them, though.
The women may call me “Papa Who Doesn’t Give.” A papa who can’t fly is just a papa.
Sorry—I’ve just always wanted to say that. And somehow Bakabon slipped in at the end too.
Anyway, if your terms don’t match, why not just part ways? If you want to compete over presents in the first place, you’d probably have more fun going to a hostess club. This time of year, they’re absolutely buzzing.
Taro
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>It’s understandable to feel disappointed that your papa didn’t think highly of you.
>Self-reflection is a good thing—well done!
I’m not particularly attentive myself, so I’m not good at giving little gifts here and there. That’s why I tell them, “If there’s something you want, just let me know.”
In this case, I think it simply means he wasn’t the attentive type of papa.
More importantly, use your self-reflection to become an even more appealing woman.
The presents will come chasing after you later…
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Some men think, “Since I’m already giving her an allowance, it’s basically like giving her a gift every time we meet, so I don’t give her anything special for events like Christmas.”
Others think, “I’ll give gifts to a woman I consider my main partner, but not to someone I’m only seeing for sex.” (That was my way of thinking.)
That said, I don’t see not receiving a gift as negatively as the questioner does—as something that means “he didn’t think highly of me” or that she should “cut him off.”
I assume she’s receiving the allowance that was agreed upon, so I feel that expecting a gift on top of that as a matter of course is simply greedy.
If I met a woman like that, I’d think, “She probably wouldn’t appreciate a gift anyway. She seems awfully focused on money,” and I’d start looking to cut things off myself. If she ended things first, I might even think, “Lucky me.”
Thinking that a papa (a male supporter) who gives gifts is good, while one who doesn’t is no good, seems like an awfully simplistic way of looking at things.
Anyway, do as you please.
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