What made my monthly-arrangement papa book a hotel?
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This morning, I messaged him, “I got my period, so instead of going to a hotel today, would you like to have lunch and then go to a café or do some bar-hopping like we did the other day?” He replied, “Sounds good. Let’s meet at Isetan as planned,” so I went to meet him.
While we were having lunch, he said, “I booked a hotel, just in case,” and I was completely confused. I had messaged him suggesting lunch and a café instead of a hotel, and he had replied that it sounded good.
Since it would have been a waste of the hotel fee, I went along with it—but because I was on my period, I pleased him with my hands.
With a monthly arrangement, do they insist on going to a hotel no matter what? Is dinner only not enough for them?
I don’t understand why you think the papa would be wasting money on the hotel.
With a monthly arrangement, he’s the type of papa who considers whether it’s worth it based on how often you have sex.
But you feel the same way, don’t you?
To be blunt, it’s probably too soon for either of you to enter into a monthly arrangement.
For example, you could say, “Let’s meet this time without intimacy, but I’d like to see you one extra time this month and have an adult relationship with you.” That way, neither of you would have to feel uncomfortable.
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>“I got my period, so instead of going to a hotel, would you like to have lunch, grab coffee, or go bar-hopping like we did the other day?”
That papa probably either doesn’t understand your thinking that “I got my period, so I’d rather avoid going to a hotel,” or simply isn’t trying to understand it.
To avoid any misunderstanding, it may be a little awkward, but I think you should clearly explain why you don’t want to go to a hotel when you’re on your period.
He’s probably the kind of man who either can’t take a hint or has a habit of interpreting things in whatever way is most convenient for him.
If that stresses you out, I think it’s perfectly fine to say goodbye.
>“I booked a hotel, just in case.”
He probably booked the hotel because, in his mind, “I got my period” and “I’d rather avoid going to a hotel” weren’t connected.
He didn’t understand that “instead of a hotel” meant “I don’t want to go to a hotel.”
Or perhaps he did understand, but was hoping there might still be a chance.
>“I didn’t want the hotel fee to go to waste, so I went anyway, but since I was on my period, I serviced him with my hands.”
I don’t think this part was a good idea.
The hotel fee being a waste isn’t your problem.
You did say “instead of going to a hotel,” so I think you shouldn’t back down on that.
I suspect the underlying problem is that this papa thinks, “If I create the fact that I’ve already booked a hotel, she definitely won’t refuse”—in other words, that you’re a woman who is easily pressured.
—It’s Me
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Sounds like there are papas like that… He’s pretty typical. I guess he just wants the two of you to be alone together, no matter what.
But if you want to continue the monthly arrangement, I think you’ll have to put up with it and keep seeing him.
From now on, only enter into a monthly arrangement with papas you wouldn’t mind being intimate with every time—or, better yet, papas you like so much that you’d want to be intimate with them yourself.
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I’m a female member, Potassium.
In the situation discussed today, I imagine it would be difficult to find a hotel at short notice. So perhaps he had already booked one and didn’t want to cancel it… and maybe he was hoping they could be intimate.
I also get the impression that dinner alone wouldn’t have satisfied him.
Personally, if an adult relationship is the main expectation, I think it’s basic courtesy to let the other person know roughly when your period is expected in advance.
Since this is a monthly arrangement, I feel both parties benefit from building that level of understanding. Maybe there wouldn’t have been any need to book a hotel beforehand, either…
If someone only thinks about their own convenience without considering the other person, then both sides are at fault. So I found it a little strange that he complained.
Just my personal opinion.
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Monthly arrangements have their pros and cons. I think this time, one of the downsides came into play.
With a monthly arrangement, men tend to start thinking in terms of value for money.
If it had been a pay-per-meeting arrangement—say, dinner plus an adult relationship (intimate)—you could have told him you were on your period, and he might have been happy just having dinner without inviting you up to his room.
Since it’s a monthly arrangement, it’s understandable that he might think, “We should do it when we can, or I’m losing out.”
Ideally, it would be best to have a relationship where he can pay the monthly allowance without feeling stressed, even if you don’t have an adult relationship (intimate) for an entire month due to your health or work. In other words, the ideal is for him to feel roughly the same level of satisfaction whether it’s a date that includes an adult relationship (intimate) or just dinner.
Well, it’s not easy to build that kind of relationship. I suppose you can only develop it little by little.
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Since you’re receiving an allowance, it probably would’ve been better to pleasure him orally rather than with your hand. I’m guessing the questioner got negative feedback for that.
Also, some people don’t mind and still want to be intimate during their period.
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I imagine he wanted you to do that for him, and probably thought, “I’m giving her an allowance, so it’s fair for me to expect it.”
That said, it depends on the nature of your relationship, so honestly, I can’t say for sure.
Akari
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They probably just wanted to enjoy the whole mood and buildup leading to the hotel, regardless of whether it was a monthly arrangement.
At the hotel, it might have been enough to simply hold each other (while fully clothed), kiss, or just enjoy having a private space together.
From a man’s perspective, spending Christmas Eve alone together in a beautiful hotel setting wouldn’t be a bad thing.
> “Is dinner only not enough?”
Men have zero interest in the meal itself. (They can eat any kind of meal alone.) What they care about is the space, atmosphere, and expressions you share while being together.
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