I have a papa (a male supporter) whose adult dates feel painfully long to me—usually two hours or more.
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Ideally, I’d like the adult date to be over within about an hour and a half. Is there a good way to ask him to shorten the time a little? Or should I accept that our dating styles aren’t compatible and look for a papa (a male supporter) who shares my values, especially if he wants to enjoy longer adult dates?
It makes me sad that I’m forcing myself to endure adult dates that feel painfully long just for the allowance.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
An hour and a half really is just enough time to do it and leave.
It must feel rushed, and I bet they’d even complain that it’s unpleasant if you don’t hurry up and finish quickly.
I wish men would realize sooner when the chemistry isn’t right. There’s nothing good in it for either side.
Marika
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Tell him gently and clearly that it hurts and you’re uncomfortable.
If he’s still stupid enough not to listen, cut him loose—it’s not worth the cost or effort.
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If you’re both using a dating club, the fact that it’s dragging on means neither of you is fully satisfied.
Unless you find someone you’re truly compatible with in the areas that matter most, there’s no point in using a dating club.
You’re not lovers or married, so if you’re not physically compatible, it’ll be incredibly boring, right? If you’re a couple, emotional fulfillment can make up for a lack of compatibility, but that’s not the case here.
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You need to decide for yourself whether you’re going to do it or not.
If you want the allowance badly enough to put up with it, then go ahead. But if your own feelings matter more, just stop seeing him. It’s really that simple.
There’s no point in constantly asking about his bragging, whether he expects oral without a condom, how long he sees other women, and so on.
We’re not you, so we can’t truly understand how you feel about him.
If you simply want to have sex like everyone else and get paid for it, why not work at a sex establishment where the services are standardized? That way, you can end things when your allotted time is up, and list anything you dislike as a prohibited activity. There are even places that only offer oral sex with a condom.
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If your dating styles don’t match, it’s probably best to move on and look for another papa (a male supporter).
Dates you have to force yourself through aren’t fun for either of you.
That said, if you find adult relationship (intimate) dates painful because of the allowance, this activity itself may not be right for you.
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My opinion is that if you have to endure it, you’re better off looking for someone else who’s a better match. That said, finances are a factor too, so it makes sense to look for ways to shorten the time somehow....
Which part of the adult relationship is taking so long?
1. Entering the room and talking
2. Taking a shower
3. Foreplay
4. Intercourse
5. Pillow talk
If it’s painful, I’m guessing 3 and 4 aren’t a good match?
If that’s the case, to shorten the time:
For someone who takes too long with 3. Foreplay, saying something like, “I want you so badly. Please, just put it in already...” might work.
For someone who takes too long with 4. Intercourse, it might be good to bring it up by saying, “I’m not very strong, and it starts to hurt if it goes on too long. What should we do?”
If 1 or 5 is what you find painful...
Then it’s a problem that goes beyond physical compatibility.
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