He told me he wanted to see me but that meeting up would cost him money. Since he’s a papa I really like and I wanted to see him too, I told him, “You don’t have to give me an allowance when we’re just having dinner.” After that, though, it turned into dinner only plus oral service in his car, with no allowance.
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I feel like he’s taking advantage of me—or making a fool of me. I want to stop the oral service and go back to meeting at hotels with an allowance. Is it okay to be direct and tell my papa that?
If any men have used this kind of underhanded tactic, what would be the best way to phrase it so it doesn’t come across badly?
Thank you.
I don’t think anyone here would resort to such underhanded tactics, but you could say something like:
“I’m finding things difficult without an allowance now. Would you be willing to give me an allowance even for dinner only (no intimacy)?”
That said, I feel it may be difficult to go back to how things were, so I think you’d be better off looking for a new papa (a male supporter).
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I’m a female member, Potassium.
I’m sorry, but I’ve never met a man like that. However, since the opposite situation does happen, after reading your post, I feel it would be quite difficult for you to receive an allowance.
I think the man feels that paying you an allowance would be a waste of money. It seems like he’s taking advantage of your feeling that it’s lucky he’ll do so much for you for free.
Assuming you like your papa and don’t want to break things off, here’s how I’d respond:
Knowing I might get cut off, I’d invite him by saying, “I want to feel good together with you too, papa… wouldn’t that be okay?” Then, during pillow talk, I’d ask, “Papa used to give me an allowance, and that made me feel valued. Is that not how you feel anymore…? It makes me a little sad… Am I not enough?”
If nothing changes in the relationship after that, I’d cut him off and think, “Then go pay for it somewhere else.”
*The opposite situation:
I had an intimate relationship with a former papa without any money involved. Starting from our third time, he gave me money and told me to spend it however I wanted, and the amount kept increasing.*
That’s just my personal opinion.
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You were simply being used for fun, like a sex worker.
I don’t think a man who’s dating a woman casually would go back to an allowance-based relationship with her.
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It might be a good idea to look for another papa (a male supporter) at the same time.
The allowance amount isn’t necessarily a measure of how good a papa is, but once you meet someone who truly treats you well, you’ll realize just how awful your current guy is.
At the very least, it’s unacceptable for him to make you do it for free just because it costs him money.
Marika
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Don’t you feel, even as you write this yourself, that you’re being treated terribly...?
He doesn’t have feelings for you. You’re being used as an outlet for the sexual urges of a young, cute girl.
As for having a papa you like, it’s at least somewhat better if you’re receiving a generous allowance.
If you don’t end things, it’s going to become emotionally exhausting for you.
Akari
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What are you talking about?
First of all, you shouldn’t meet men who say something as clueless as, “I want to see you, but it costs money.”
And there’s no need to say, “You don’t need to give me anything if we’re just having dinner.”
If you worked at a jewelry store and a customer said, “I want this ring, but it’s expensive, huh~,” would you offer them another ring and say, “This one’s free”?
You’d just say, “Goodbye!”
Even if you say, “You don’t need to give me anything if we’re just having dinner,” it’s actually “dinner plus mouth service,” so it’s not dinner only at all.
If you want to be considerate of him, don’t worry about how it might come across. I think it would be better for his sake to tell him clearly:
“Am I just a free outlet for your sexual needs? This is too sad…”
It’s me.
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I’m more into the real thing, so I’ve never had that kind of experience, but I think you should be clear and say, “I don’t want anything half-hearted!”
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