I recently started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
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Today I met for the first time with someone who runs his own business. The terms are that we meet four times a month and I receive ¥200,000.
I thought it would be pay-per-meeting, but apparently he plans to give me the agreed amount at our fourth meeting. He said it’s part of his tax planning, but is that really the case?
I’ve tried looking into how business owners handle these things, but it’s complicated and I don’t understand it… Could an experienced papa (male supporter) please explain?
Thank you.
This sounds like the kind of thing that happens often on dating apps.
As Its Me mentioned, it’s the sort of situation where they sleep together three times, then the person disappears after the fourth meeting.
At Universe, the club would be notified, so you probably see fewer cases like this.
Still, I can’t understand how someone can agree to a monthly arrangement when they don’t know whether the other person might insist on no protection, do something painful, or any number of other things.
That way of thinking is beyond me.
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> With a monthly arrangement, paying upfront is standard.
Just as Seattle-san said, that’s exactly how it is.
If it’s a woman I really like, I’m even more inclined to give her the allowance upfront.
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It’s a scam.
He’s extremely poor and can’t even pay the allowance.
He’s not with our club, is he?
You’ve been tricked. Unless you receive the allowance upfront, he’ll sleep with you and disappear.
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There’s no such tax-saving arrangement. It’s a scam.
With a monthly arrangement, payment upfront is standard. They’ll probably disappear after the third meeting.
Next time, if they don’t pay you right away when you meet, leave.
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You don’t even have a relationship of trust yet, so those terms sound pretty suspicious. I think it’s best to walk away.
Try putting it sweetly and humbly, like:
“I’m pretty busy with school and my part-time job—or work, whatever applies—and there may be weeks when I can’t meet. I’d feel bad about that, so I think a pay-per-meeting arrangement would be better for me…”
If he still refuses after you explain it that way, that’s very suspicious. I’d probably walk away.
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I personally would never meet under these terms.
If the allowance for one month is being paid all at once, the standard should be full payment upfront.
With payment afterward, there’s always the risk that he’ll ghost you after the third meeting at worst.
You won’t be able to enjoy seeing him while worrying about that.
Even if he isn’t intending to scam you, I have to question any papa (a male supporter) who lacks the flexibility and consideration to ease the woman’s concerns and risks.
If full payment afterward is acceptable, I can’t see any reason why full payment upfront wouldn’t be possible.
Simply changing the timing of the payment won’t result in any meaningful tax savings, and you shouldn’t have to take on additional risks just because he wants to claim papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) as a business expense.
It’s me.
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Perhaps you’re feeling anxious because you’re switching to a monthly arrangement before you’ve built mutual trust.
For now, why not agree on a pay-per-meeting allowance of ¥50,000 for this month? Once you’ve built a trusting relationship, you could receive the following month’s allowance at the beginning of the month—or at the end of the previous month.
Men may worry about paying the allowance and then being ghosted, but women should also discuss things carefully so they don’t end up meeting four times only to be told there’s no allowance.
Why not ask him directly what he means by “tax purposes”? I’ve never heard any business owners I know mention anything like that.
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