Does saying that my goal in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is to pay off debt give a bad impression?
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It’s not actually my own debt. After my mother passed away, I inherited around ¥2 million in liabilities along with her estate. Since I was a student and needed to continue living at home, I couldn’t renounce the inheritance.
Until now, when people asked why I do papa-katsu, I’ve given vague answers like “just because” or “I’d like to meet mature men.” But I’m wondering whether I should be honest about the real reason.
In Japan, debt generally doesn’t have a very positive image.
That said, in the end, it depends on the woman asking and how appealing she is. If an attractive woman talks about her debts, it may not create a negative impression, but if an average woman does, it can.
Also, some men are fine with a woman spending money on herself, but don’t want her spending it on hosts.
Even if she says she’s spending the money for herself, if it ends up going straight to a host, they may feel, “I’m not giving you money so you can give it to your host.”
It’s a difficult issue, since it ultimately comes down to emotions.
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I agree with Nana Ayase’s opinion.
If selling your parents’ home would bring in more than ¥2 million, I think it would be better to sell it now and move into a studio apartment or something similar.
By the way, in Japan, debt repayment has an extremely negative image.
It gives people the impression that you’re careless with money.
I’m reminded of an old manga called Naniwa Kin’yūdō, where the protagonist looks at someone’s borrowing history and says something along the lines of, “No reputable financial institution would hire someone like this.”
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There’s no problem based on the amount and what it includes.
It feels realistic too, so I think it’s fine to talk about it.
Since you’ve inherited your family home (and your net assets should be positive after offsetting the debt), there’s no reason for the man to feel uneasy.
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You have ¥2 million in debt, right?
Honestly, I think that’s about the ideal amount of debt from a papa-katsu perspective. I don’t see any problem with being open about it.
That said, be careful of anyone who says, “Then I’ll pay off the ¥2 million for you, so how about you…”
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You should have renounced the inheritance...
If it’s a detached house, you’ll have to pay taxes on it. And that ¥2 million will keep accruing interest and growing over time.
It might be easier on your mind to renounce it, wipe out the ¥2 million debt, and live in a small studio apartment.
As for papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), there are very few generous (well-paying) papas, so staking everything on finding one would just be a waste of time. Not many people would take on such a troublesome arrangement, either.
Do you realize that only about half of all offers actually result in someone making an offer? What would you do if you didn’t receive even one offer?
In that case, I think you’d make money faster by working in the adult entertainment industry or at a soapland.
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Whether you should tell your papa about your debt depends on his financial literacy, I think.
Japan has a strong negative image of debt, so if you’re unsure, it’s probably safer not to bring it up.
That said, if your papa is someone you can talk to about not only spending and saving, but also investing and donating, then I think it’s okay to tell him.
Even though education and the media have instilled negative feelings about debt in people, I wish they’d stop glamorizing credit card revolving payments as if they were some “wise choice.”
Am I the only one who finds this strange?
It’s me.
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Personally, I don’t care whether you want the money for going to host clubs, buying designer goods, spending on beauty treatments, studying abroad, or anything else. They’re all things you genuinely want to do, and money is simply a way of assigning value in general terms.
Compared with vague answers like “I don’t know, really” or the rather contrived “because I want to meet a mature man,” I think that’s much better.
That said, when I hear about someone’s hardships, I sometimes feel pressured to keep giving her an allowance—in other words, to continue the relationship.
That doesn’t mean I would increase the allowance, though. If I felt that she wasn’t quite right for me as a partner, I’d rather end things before the relationship deepened and I became emotionally attached.
This is just my personal opinion. In reality, it depends on the individual, on you, and on the relationship between the two of you.
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I’ve been in an arrangement for three years with someone whose situation is almost exactly the same—the reason is debt.
I don’t think the reason for the debt is necessarily a problem. What matters is the woman’s personality.
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