All of the papas I’m seeing regularly like to drink, and I try to keep up with them, but it’s getting difficult.
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They tell me I don’t have to push myself, but they all say, “I wouldn’t want to see a girl again if she can’t drink,” so I force myself to drink.
In one meal, I usually have about one beer, three highballs, and two glasses of wine.
When I order weaker cocktails or drink at a slower pace, they ask, “Are you feeling unwell today?”
Honestly, alcohol makes me gain weight, and I feel sick the next day, so I don’t want to drink. But I’m also afraid they’ll stop seeing me if I don’t, so I keep forcing myself.
What should I do?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
As a man who enjoys drinking, I’m most compatible with women who enjoy drinking too.
I wouldn’t want her to force herself to drink, but if we don’t click in other ways, I wouldn’t feel motivated to continue seeing her.
People also say alcohol makes you gain weight, but couldn’t you just choose drinks that are less likely to do so, like highballs or red wine?
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The other day, I attended an offline meetup with some male members of Universe.
One of them handled alcohol very well, while the other didn’t seem to drink as much. The way he ordered his drinks was so smooth and natural that I thought I’d share it.
For example, when it was time to toast, he said, “I’m very hungry, so I’ll have something nonalcoholic for the first toast,” and ordered ginger ale. That didn’t mean he couldn’t drink, though. Afterward, he enjoyed the drinks he liked, prepared the way he preferred them—such as making them weaker. He even joined us for two more stops afterward. Thank you（笑）. I don’t think anyone was pressuring him to stay…
A papa who pressures someone to drink is out of the question, but perhaps you could also try ordering drinks casually in whatever way suits you. For example, ask for a weaker drink or have the amount cut in half. It might also help to mention that you can only have two drinks.
If he can’t accept that, I think it’s not too late to end things then. What do you think?
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Wow, you’re drinking even more than a hostess at a hostess club. That’s way too much—you’ll ruin your health.
“If you won’t drink, we’re breaking up”? Fine by me, you idiot. Tell him, “If you damage my health, I’ll sue you for compensation.” I was thinking, “I’m not some new employee—what the hell are you talking about, old man?”
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Kazu and Marika, that’s brutally honest, lol.
I’m a lightweight, so I’m just saying this is the only pace I can manage. I can’t get intimate once I’m drunk ❤️
If you have a papa who gives you 100 for a pay-per-meeting arrangement, just grit your teeth and drink.
I can only handle one glass of alcohol. —Seattle, with a sweet tooth
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I think they mean they don’t want someone who can’t drink at all. As long as you can drink together, it should be fine, so I’d suggest drinking at your own pace, as they said.
If you really don’t want to drink at all, why not explain that and ask whether you can continue seeing each other without drinking? Even if that ends the relationship, it would probably be better for your peace of mind than forcing yourself to continue.
Also, rather than thinking you’ll be “cut off,” try thinking of it as you choosing to walk away. It can make a big difference in how you feel.
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If you can keep the conversation lively without drinking, I think you can meet up regardless of whether alcohol is involved.
When he says, “I don’t want to see a girl again if she can’t drink,” I think he means he doesn’t like girls who can’t match his energy after he’s been drinking. Maybe he doesn’t like feeling as though he’s the only one having fun.
You shouldn’t force yourself to go along with it. Please take care of yourself.
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There are plenty of wonderful papas (male supporters) who don’t drink.
There are also men who enjoy drinking themselves but are considerate enough to let me go at my own pace.
Even if that person cuts you off, couldn’t you just look elsewhere?
There’s no need to date an idiot who can’t even understand that some people don’t drink.
Marika
Mr. Joe,
The way that man ordered his drink would seem perfectly normal to someone who doesn’t drink.
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It’s a good idea to make yourself throw up in the bathroom before the alcohol really kicks in. That’s how new employees were toughened up back in the Showa era. I thought people no longer had to drink like that these days, but I guess papa-katsu has kept the tradition alive.
There are a lot of papas from the Showa era, so I suppose it can’t be helped.
I don’t like drinkers because their breath smells.
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I think you should just break up.
Adding this after reading Seattle’s answer: I think dating clubs are interesting precisely because they’re so refreshingly straightforward. If you want to enjoy the back-and-forth of romantic games, I think you’d be better off with a hostess club or nightclub.
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