I have a close papa who gives me 8 per meeting, and although we have an adult relationship once every few months, we usually just have dinner and enjoy our time together.

I think it’s best to simply say, “I’d like us to continue seeing each other as we have been.” Then you could try saying, “It makes me sad that you only see me as someone for intimacy.” Of course, to men using a dating club, you may well be an intimate partner—but I feel many men would back off if a woman said that to them directly.

> If a pay-per-meeting papa gives you 80, and you tell him that other papas give you 200 or 300 for an adult relationship (intimate) on a pay-per-meeting basis, I think I’d say goodbye too. I agree. I’d no longer see any reason to continue.

Something about this feels a little off to me. I could understand it if pay-per-meeting 20 or 30 were dinner-only (no intimacy) papas, while pay-per-meeting 8 were adult-relationship papas. The reason is that girls who have that kind of demand choose carefully who they have an adult relationship with. If all they want is money, they can earn enough from dinner-only arrangements, so their adult-relationship papa would be someone they click with, even if he pays less. A papa they don’t particularly like but who offers a high allowance would probably be someone they’d think, “Well, I guess dinner only is fine.” Another thing that feels off is that with a high-paying papa, you should actually be able to get more money by not having an adult relationship. Besides, I’ve never heard of someone having an adult relationship every time with a high-paying papa. That’s why I’m skeptical of this story. As for the answer: if a pay-per-meeting 8 papa told me that other papas were giving me 20 or 30 for an adult relationship, I think I’d say goodbye. It seems more likely to work out if you try to get more money from the 20- or 30-paying papas.

If your pay-per-meeting papa’s allowance increased from 8 to 20 or 30, would that solve all your problems? Thinking, “I’d feel bad toward my other papas if I increased the frequency of our adult relationship while keeping it at 8,” is probably an unconscious excuse. It seems like your pay-per-meeting papa may have low priority for reasons beyond the amount of money. If that’s the case, don’t mention your other papas at all. Just say, “I’d like to keep the current frequency with the current allowance.” Then leave it up to your papa to decide whether he wants to continue. If he does have low priority, even if your pay-per-meeting papa agrees to negotiate a higher allowance, other problems may arise in maintaining the relationship. If he’s an important papa to you, I think you should prioritize maintaining the relationship over the frequency or amount and discuss things from that perspective. Unless you bring up the frequency or amount yourself, your other papas won’t find out. Let go completely of feeling “bad toward your other papas.” Be honest with your feelings. Sort out the papas who have low priority; there’s no need to make all your papas’ terms the same. After all, this is papa-katsu♪ It’s me.

I think he’s asking to see you more often because he’s grown fond of you. However, that papa may mistakenly believe that paying 80,000 yen per meeting is more than other papas pay. For some reason, people seem to think that 50,000 yen is the standard at Universe (why is that? lol), but that’s not true. Based on what I’ve heard from various male members, many of them offer an allowance of 70,000–80,000 yen per meeting. So, within Universe, that papa’s allowance is fairly average. Naturally, as you said, there are also women receiving 200,000 yen per meeting. (I’ve heard of 300,000 yen being offered for a one-off meeting—the first meeting pays 300,000 yen, but it ends there. If someone wants to keep meeting you after the second time, though, I imagine you must be exceptionally appealing.) In that case, you may end up parting ways with this papa, but I think you should explain the situation honestly. In other words, tell him something like: “Honestly, I’d like you to increase my allowance. There are papas who pay 200,000 or even 300,000 yen. I continued seeing you because, at the current frequency, I enjoy spending time with you. If we increase the number of meetings, I won’t have time to see the papas who pay 200,000 or 300,000 yen. That would be a problem, so I’d like us to keep meeting at the same frequency as before.” Of course, many men probably won’t like hearing about other papas. But some may accept it if your reasoning makes sense. I don’t know which type he is, but if he’s the latter, he may understand. If you think he’s the former, you’ll probably have to dodge the request vaguely, saying something like, “I’m really busy, so the current frequency is my limit.”

In my case, half-hearted consideration tends to hurt more—or at least leave me feeling uncomfortable. I think you should simply say what you really think, just as it is.

Why not say, “If you want to increase the number of adult meetings, please raise the allowance a little”? If there are other people paying 20,000 or 30,000 yen per meeting, you probably won’t be too troubled if he cuts things off. You should be able to get your point across without hurting his feelings.