For various reasons, I have nowhere to go home to and have been spending my nights at 24-hour cafés. When I mentioned this to my favorite papa (a male supporter), whom I happened to have a date with, he offered to get me a hotel.
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However, after a sleepover date filled with sex, he spoke vaguely for some reason and then left without another word.
There have been times before when he gently said things that made me think he would help me, but in the end, he never did.
There is no allowance.
Being involved with him is painful, but to me, he is still the best papa I have. He is teaching me something, and that is a major benefit, so even though I know he treats me carelessly, I can’t bring myself to cut ties.
He isn’t someone I met here, but am I simply expecting too much from every little thing he does?
Even when I’m not expecting anything, he always says things that make me hope, so I believe him, only to be let down afterward. Going through that cycle is painful.
I also have other papas I met through a dating club, but I haven’t been able to find anyone whose personality and company feel comfortable and compatible.
Should I return to a dating club and look for another papa, or am I simply not suited for this? How do you think I should decide?
I would appreciate your advice.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
Wasn’t letting you stay the night the allowance?
I don’t know what kind of arrangement you have on the other days, though.
Realistically, wouldn’t it be better to get a steady job and rent an apartment, or look for work that provides housing?
When you explain these ordinary solutions to people who don’t understand them, they complain that the advice is boring, though.
Marika
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I’m a female member, Potassium.
Reading this, I couldn’t help but wonder:
Why are you expecting someone to help you from the very beginning? The fact that you’re already counting on someone to help you comes across as presumptuous.
Waiting for someone to do something for you or come to your aid, or to see you as a pitiful person and help you, isn’t going to get you anywhere. Don’t take it for granted that someone will save you. You need to take action yourself to change your situation, or you’re just wasting time.
When that man let you stay at the hotel, you should have used that opportunity to make your own plans for changing your circumstances instead of clinging to him. Otherwise, you may end up homeless for the rest of your life.
I think you should become strong enough to support yourself. Otherwise, unless you’re exceptionally lucky, you probably won’t meet a good papa or a good man.
I don’t think ordinary people have an easy life like that. So please do your best.
That’s just my personal opinion.
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Hmm, I basically see the pros and cons as canceling each other out. Since good things and bad things balance out, I feel the questioner’s situation is perfectly normal—nothing unusual at all.
If I were to offer some advice, I’d say their mental balance is getting thrown off because they have excessively high expectations of something that’s actually quite ordinary. So first, try to stop expecting too much from other people.
Unless those unfounded expectations go away, I feel like your sense of balance will get thrown off no matter what situation you’re in.
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The fact that you’re asking something like this makes me think you’re being taken advantage of.
I think only a small number of men would want to date someone who’s homeless. Maybe this just isn’t for you.
Someone who doesn’t give you an allowance isn’t a papa (a male supporter).
**Edit:**
That’s what I thought, but when you say, “He left me there and went home,” does that mean you were able to stay at the hotel?
Wouldn’t that count as him helping you? If you were able to stay there but still feel that he didn’t help you, then you were expecting too much.
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